Hello Mr. Zhenxi:
My husband and I are not far from each other, and we know each other well. When it was time to talk about marriage, he asked our mutual friend to pass the word that he liked me very much and asked me if I would like to be his girlfriend. I'm very shy, we haven't had much contact, how can he ask me to be his girlfriend so bluntly? I didn't know how to answer.
Later, he kept chasing me, and I could see that he was very attentive to me. In addition to buying me gifts, he also bought gifts for my parents to please my parents.
I also like him a lot, he has a good family background, his father is in business, he has a flexible mind and a wide range of network resources. He is very similar to his father, he is assertive, he does not panic when he encounters problems, but actively thinks of solutions. For example, once, something happened to my family, and in the face of the other party's entanglement, my family was very helpless, he came forward to solve it, calmly and calmly, and then gave the other party some compensation, and the other party never came to make trouble again.
I was convinced by his ability to do things, and I admired him very much, and even my father said that if I married him, I would wait to enjoy happiness in the future. He confidently promised me: "I want to do my father's business better, but also to open up my own field, as long as I dare to fight, have brains, business will definitely become more and more prosperous." ”
I also believe that if I marry him, I will definitely eat and drink in the future. However, my parents and I have concerns that we can't explain. His grandfather and father all cheated, and his grandmother was his grandfather's cheating object, and later his grandfather divorced and married his grandmother. His father was also unclear with the women outside, and his mother had a quarrel for a while before the family stopped, but his father and mother have always been very cold. Will he be like his grandfather and father in the future?
After much hesitation, I still chose to marry him. After we got married, we had a happy and sweet time. His father took a back seat and let him take the lead in handling some of the company's affairs. Even though he is very busy with work, he does not forget to care about me, which is very warm.
After two years at home, my stomach didn't move much, and my life was boring, so I asked to go to work. He arranged for me to join the company, and I learned financial knowledge while working, and I got started quickly, and people around me praised me for my ability.
We have some differences in the management of the company, for example, he pays attention to the macro management of the company""Sir, I'm more detail-oriented, he said I was too fine, I said he was nervous, and there were loopholes in management.
Just as we were getting more and more divergent, I got pregnant. I simply left the company affairs and concentrated on raising the baby. After giving birth to my daughter, I lived the days of a housewife for a few years. After my children went to school, I was unwilling to stay at home and go to work in the company again.
He didn't want me to work in the company, and he said we always quarreled. But I felt that the company needed me, and I could make up for many of his management deficiencies. Although he was dissatisfied, he didn't say anything more.
Once, I accidentally clicked on the WeChat he logged in on the office computer and found his chat history with a woman, and the words were full of care and care. It can be seen from the woman's ** photo that it is small and delicate, and the kind that is cute. I felt a chill in my heart, had the things I been worrying about had happened? I can't believe it, is cheating hereditary? When I asked him, he didn't admit it and said I was suspicious.
Originally, I was worried that he would cheat, but now that I found the signs, I couldn't sleep. Since he didn't say it, I'll check it out!
I deliberately kept an eye on his whereabouts, his front foot went out, and I took a taxi to follow him. After following it a few times, he either didn't find anything abnormal, or he lost it, and he found it once.
He was angry and angry with me, saying I didn't trust him. I also quarrel with him:"You don't play ambiguously with women, can I do that? It's not like you're forcing me! ”
Tracking wasn't feasible, so I bought another locator and installed it in his car while he wasn't looking. Not long after, he sent the car for maintenance, and the locator was found by someone in the repair shop.
He came home angrily, threw the locator in front of me, and simply showcased: "I'll tell you the truth, I just like that woman, she is very simple, and she doesn't want to have any reputation, but I just want to buy her a house, and when the house is bought, I will tell you that the address is in **, so that you don't have to worry about finding it." ...”
Hearing this, I almost fainted. I hadn't had a good day since I learned of the woman's existence, and we had more and more arguments, and he came home less and less.
Since I can't keep his heart, I have to keep my family's property. I am in charge of the company's finances, and there are convenient conditions.
I quietly removed some of the money from the account, and when he found out, he slapped the table with me. After that, he used the company's money privately, and I jumped with him. We both have our own thoughts, keep an eye on the company's accounts, guard each other, and compete with each other.
We sat down for a good talk, and the relationship eased a lot. He said that he wanted me to be a good wife and mother, but I was too suspicious and interfered too much in his work. I said that I hope he cares more about me and my family outside of work, and respects my choice.
But it didn't take long for the two of us to get better, and everything was back on the same track. He said that the woman was very docile and obedient to him, and he felt that he was going to return to the family and was sorry for others, but when he came home, I still frowned at him, and he said that he couldn't find me before, and I admired him before.
Listening to his words, I burst into tears. Actually, I still admire him very much, I just want to help him and make him better. Besides, women should be independent, why should I be docile, I have to listen to him, I also have my own thoughts and pursuits, when I think of the lukewarm marriage status of my mother-in-law and father-in-law, and then look at our current situation, I have been trying to change his heart in my heart, afraid that the present of my father-in-law and mother-in-law may be my future, I don't want to live so wronged; But if he doesn't look back, I can't bear to divorce, after all, he is a very good man. I don't know what to do now?
Really emotional answer:
In this case, the two also had a good time. Later, the two people had a disagreement at work, and then the heroine smelled her husband's cheating in the chat between her husband and other women, so she took a series of actions, such as tracking, positioning, etc., these behaviors not only eased the relationship between the husband and wife, but made the relationship between the husband and wife worse.
The reason why the heroine is suspicious is that they did not manage their marriage well after marriage, and they did not communicate well, one party wanted to control the other party, and the other party wanted to get rid of control. What's more, in the end, the two people guarded each other and started to transfer the family property, which is a taboo in marriage.
The heroine attributed her husband's cheating to genetics, which is unscientific. Relevant experts have found that affair behavior does have the characteristics of family inheritance, but this inheritance is not passed on to the next generation through genes, but through psychology"Black memories"to influence the next generation.
The husband may be because of it"black memory", which caused him to not know how to get along with his wife after he got married, or he would only use a more familiar way to deal with problems when he encountered problems.
Hello, if you don't want to divorce and want to repair the relationship, the heroine needs to deeply understand her husband's inner needs. Since men want women to worship themselves, give him enough adoring eyes and try to satisfy his inner needs.
Clause. 1. Self-reflection on whether you are too suspicious. A little clue sensitively made up the picture of her husband's cheating, and after some action, she really forced her husband to want to leave her.
Clause. Second, think calmly about whether you are also at fault. After a man cheats, he often swings between his lover and his wife, and at this time, whether you push him or reach out to pull him is very important to him. If you are irritable and angry, and your lover is gentle and lovely, the man will naturally fall to his lover.
It's easy to break trust, but it's not overnight to repair it. The two of them sat down and had a long chat to untie the knot. In this way, two people will not only release their previous suspicions, but also get closer to each other's hearts. This is evidenced in this case, and there have been times when the relationship between the two has eased.
The two should change the previous state, find a suitable mode for two people to get along, start from the most basic things, find each other's shining points, give each other affirmation and encouragement in the process of accompaniment, and communicate effectively and well in a timely manner.
In fact, if you want to have a good marriage, there is no shortcut, only to spend time, emotion, energy, and serious management. If you have done so and you still don't get good results, don't be disappointed in yourself, rebuild your confidence and adjust yourself.