Regret is like a hammer that can ruin you or use it to build the life you want.
Many people regret the things they missed before, the opportunities they missed, and the mistakes they made, and some people regret that they didn't study hard and get a good job when they were young; Some people regret not confessing to the person they like and missing the person they love; And some people regret not getting married, having children when they were young, being lonely and lonely when they are old, etc.
Regret is normal and means you want to live a good life. Regret can be a warning that asks you to correct your mistakes.
People are haunted by regret because they think that the things they regret are a thing of the past and there is no going back. For example, confessing to the person you like, studying hard to get a college graduation book, etc., things are indeed like this, and it has become a thing of the pastBut those feelings of regret happen in this very moment.
It's useless to regret, what we have to do is look to the future! Take the past as an experience, reflect on it, what are the advantages, what are the advantages to be carried forward in the future, and what are the shortcomings, and what are the adjustments in the future! Use the feeling of the moment to build the life you want!
I love this quote very much:"The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, followed by now"。So, everything is in time, start today and start again!
So how do you turn regret into neng? It only takes 3 steps:
Step 1: Figure out what you're regretting.
Step 2, Figure out what are the values you regret? Values are the direction that guides us, not the end.
Step 3, make concrete actions based on the direction of your desired values, right here and now!
For example: If you didn't have children when you were young, you regretted it later. In fact, what you value is building a family, taking care of others, caring for each other, taking care of each other, creating a family that expresses love, etc., but you can also practice this value in many ways. At this moment, you can contact your family, you can go to a welfare home to raise a child, you can communicate with your neighbors, etc.
Regret can be your big enemy, or it can be your best friend. Take advantage of it and guide you back to the path you want to take. I like a line from "Kung Fu Panda" very much: "You suffer from gains and losses, you care too much about the past, and you are too worried about the future." Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift from heaven. Cherish today as you cherish a gift. ”
Make the most of today, because no one knows if we can really have tomorrow. Don't regret the past either, because there is no point in regretting it.