Since the implementation of the comprehensive two-child policy (commonly known as the universal two-child) policy, the "two-child" has always been one of the hot issues in society and people's livelihood. With two children at home, parents face far more challenges than a single child, and education becomes the first concern. There have been many parent-child films, television and variety shows that have been highly regarded, and one of the important reasons is that parents also want to learn from the parenting experience of celebrities.
However, film and television dramas and variety reality shows have exaggerated and showmanship elements after all, and the author thinks it is more practical to learn from some relatively authoritative parenting research works and parent-child growth records of second-child mothers. Next, I would like to recommend a parent-child growth notebook about second-child education for parents of two children - Ye Xuan's "May You Be Treated Gently by the World".
Ye Xuan, who has written the best-selling marriage and love wisdom ** "Paper Marriage" two-part trilogy, after becoming the mother of a pair of children, once again recorded a vivid and interesting parent-child story with warm, delicate and real writing. In the book, the author uses the tone of talking to his daughter "Dong Dong" and son "Ding Ding" to tell the emotional changes between the two siblings after Ding Ding was born, the troubles and experiences of accompanying and educating children, the warmth and touching of "growing up" together, and their expectations for the future.
Reading this book, parents can learn practical mother-child communication skills and methods, so that children can better understand the good intentions of their parents, and perhaps they can also review their own growth process from the author's life experience account, so as to let go of the self who was raised by free-range education.
Here are some parenting ideas that can be used in the book:
The author uses "15 times the trouble, 2 times the joy" to answer this question. Because Xiaobao can continue to use the toys and items used by Dabao, the milk powder needed for breastfeeding is not much, and the main economic pressure is the salary of the sister-in-law and the kindergarten fee; As for the challenges of growing up with your child, there are many problems that you face even if you have only one child. So the sum is about 15 times more trouble. And when you look at the children's one-way love at the beginning, inspirational to each other later, to the ubiquitous trivial warmth, you will feel that the troubles in life have been reduced to less than 15 times, while joy is magnified to more than 2 times, or even more.
Raising two children, the author also emphasizes the importance of the mother's mentality: "Only when the mother's mentality is sunny and positive enough, will she not transfer the burden of life to her family, especially her children." Then, if you want to be an optimistic and cheerful child who is willing to struggle, you must first become an optimistic and cheerful self. And once you become such yourself, all those troubles will automatically be transformed into joy in life. ”
Baby, your grandparents, grandparents, parents, and parents, they don't give 50% of their love for you to their brother, on the contrary,—— they give you 100% love and give 100% love to your brother. On this basis, you love your brother, and your brother loves you, so in addition to the 100% love of your elders, you really have double your love because of each other's existence. ”
This is what the author wants to say to his sister after he has a younger brother at home. And the more specific way is to tell my sister with sincere words day after day: Mom will have a person in her belly who is closest to you in the world, and my sister will have one more big toy and small helper in the future. After feeling the sincerity of her mother, my sister also regarded the baby in her belly as a treasure, and she had to stroke and ** her big belly every day. Through the repetition and expression of this habitual action, the author gradually turns the complex concept of "bloodline" into a natural dependence on Dabao's inner deep processing.
After Xiaobao was born, because he needed more care, the family's attention would unconsciously shift to Xiaobao, and at this time, it was easy for Dabao to feel that Xiaobao had robbed him of the love that originally belonged to him alone, and it was particularly important to adjust and guide Dabao's psychology at this time. The author's approach is very clever and simple - let Dabao participate in the process of taking care of Xiaobao, such as inviting her to change her brother's diaper and feed her brother, etc., and let her do some small favors and praise them appropriately, which is a novel experience for Dabao that can be fun, and she has no reason to hate Xiaobao's arrival.
And two children who are not much different in age will inevitably have some disputes in the process of growing up, and when they can't solve it in their own way, then they need the smile of their parents to intervene to resolve the conflict. Just like the author's article mentions "timely emphasis, appropriate checks and balances, necessary eccentricity, and heartfelt envy after lowering the perspective of **". Every child is an individual, there is no universal method, only by observing, discovering, and trying to find the appropriate solution.
Because of having two children, the main relationship of the family changes from the relationship between husband and wife of two people to the parent-child relationship of four people. Ye Xuan said, "The most loving parent-child relationship is actually to let yourself go back to your childhood, grow up again with your children." It is a post-adolescent reverse growth, it is your biological age that is getting older, but thanks to the children, you have the opportunity to experience the clear heart behind those ignorant eyes, and have the opportunity to bend down and experience the innocent curiosity and eager look in the 100-centimeter world. ”
I especially like the metaphor of "reverse growth in the post-adolescence", parents who grew up in the era of scarcity of materials, because of the existence of babies, can relive a childhood with abundant materials, and it is good to follow their babies to re-learn.
Moreover, in the process of re-learning with children, the author also realized that the best family education is the self-growth of parents. Parents can only solve the troubles of growing up together one by one by paying more patience and carefulness, spending more time and energy, reading more books, etc., coupled with "careful observation + continuous exploration", incarnating as keen observers, calm psychological experts, and the best listeners.
In addition to recording these trivial growing pains and warmth, the author deliberately presents the most beautiful world for children through the title page of books, traveling to see the world, etc., and helps children establish a correct world view, outlook on life, and values through their own life experience.
The New Year is coming, may this heart-warming parent-child storybook accompany you and my family to grow up warmly, and may we all be treated gently by the world.