Recently, a reader paid to consult me:
Brother Pi, when eating Chinese New Year's Eve dinner during the Chinese New Year, relatives like to point out his career plan, praise the good in the system, hope that he resigns, and then test the work in the system.
He wanted to ask me if I should listen to my relatives and try it.
After a brief look at his situation, I gave him the answer:
Treat these people who like to stand on the moral high ground and point fingers at him as garbage, and don't try to please others in order not to offend others.
I believe that many people can't escape to eat with friends and family during the Chinese New Year's holidays.
Then there will be a lot of people around you who stand on the commanding heights of "morality", which is called good for you, but in fact, it is to brush up on the sense of existence and facilitate the people who can control you in the future.
If a person is really good for you, he will arrange a job for you through his own resources and real money**.
He will do his best to support you, instead of preferring to point you at the fingers and pat your ass and walk away when something happens.
Why can I see through this type of person at a glance?
It's very simple, I also came from the bottom, and I've seen too many people at the bottom surrounded by greedy and selfish garbage people.
This is determined by the environment, not by your control.
You have feelings for them, and in order not to offend them, you have accepted their garbage suggestions, done a lot of things to please others, and took many detours. They have no other ability than to trap you and control you.
Also, if you are at the bottom, never do things that please or move others, and put other people's feelings before your own.
When you always want to please others, it can only mean one problem: your strength is not strong enough, and your energy field is weak.
It doesn't matter if it's a relative, a friend, or even your parents, it's the same.
As long as your core is not stable enough and you think about others in everything, you will easily fall into this cycle and self-exhaustion.
So how do you get out of this cycle?
I'll give you an example, like me, I figured it out a long time ago:
I don't try to please anyone, not even my relatives and parents, who are just related to me, I just do what I have to do.
If I try to please them, make them very happy and moved, they will definitely try to interfere in all my decisions and try to control my life.
If you are at the bottom, I advise you to develop the habit of independent thinking, always put your own feelings first, and stand aside the feelings of others.
If you base your decisions on the feelings of your friends and family, you will lose your freedom of choice.
If you put other people's feelings first in order to please them, then your life will be controlled by them.
This is also the shackles of children who are subject to the dregs of the bottom thoughts, and their lives will be firmly locked up, and they cannot be changed.
I'm very grateful that I woke up a long time ago: Xiao Dao, to be honest, it is to let many people live under indebtedness, so that you can only bend over for the rest of your life, and you can't raise your head.
You must have heard it:
Are you ashamed that your parents are out working hard to earn money for your studies while you relax in various entertainment venues?
Why don't you use domestic products, are you worthy of the great xx?
Therefore, as long as others accuse you, you immediately can't hold your head up, and give up everything you have in order to cater to other people's ideas.
There are many similar words, as long as you are thought of by this kind of garbage**, then your energy field is already the weakest.
WhileThe real strong man will never be affected by these garbage thoughts, but rely on his own reason and wisdom to do things.
I also talked about how the strong do things in the VIP core group yesterday?
A person who really knows how to do things, he will not be affected by the garbage people at the bottom.
If you associate with someone who should give up what you should give up, you will never be limited by morality and face, and you will not do things emotionally.
The poor ghosts at the bottom are habitually angry, and they are also habitually guilty and regretful.
And the rich are not affected by these emotions, but calmly analyze:
If I can make money doing this, I will do it; It's worth paying for this knowledge, so I'll pay for it; This person is worthy of association, and I will associate with him.
People have a habit of complicating a lot of things, and if you think it's simple, it can be very simple.
If you have to mix a lot of emotions into it, and you have to think about other people's feelings in everything you do, you can easily get tired physically and mentally. You end up with only a stomach full of bitter water, and then pass on the genes of poverty to the next generation.
I'll make one more point:
Feelings are not all you have, feelings are just a way for you to experience life, not for you to do things with feelings.
So if you can read this sentence, you won't think about pleasing people in many things, and you won't bring your feelings to your work and life.
If you've been thinking about pleasing others and using feelings as the logic of what you do, you're probably done.
The reason why many people are unhappy is that they like to put aside reality and deal with problems with feelings:
I listen to him, and if I am good to him, he will be good to me".
I am very good to my children, they will listen to me, and they will be filial to me".
Isn't it a little sour, a lot of feelings have essentially become a transaction.
Think about it yourself and you'll understand:
Human nature is inherently selfish, so if you want to be good to others in order to please them, most of the time it will not end well.
When you think about it rationally, you will know that feelings are not as beautiful as you think.
When you know this, will you still think about others in everything and always want to please others?
You won't.
When you see through human nature, see through the essence of problems, do things rationally, and experience life with emotions, you will not think about pleasing others, and you will not have internal friction.
On the contrary, if you can't see through human nature, do everything for others, always want to please others, and do things with feelings, one day you will be bruised all over your body, and by that time, it will be too late.