Hello everyone, I'm Cuckoo
It's the beginning of the school season again, and after a holiday of relaxation, children will inevitably be a little uncomfortable and nervous when they go to school.
So the words that made us helpless were repeated: "Mom, I don't want to go to kindergarten." ”
When we first hear it, we can comfort the child a few words, but after hearing too much, we feel tormented ourselves, how can we make the child willing to go to kindergarten?
In fact, we don't have to face the enemy. If the child is just complaining and complaining, and there is no serious psychological discomfort, then we can relax appropriately.
When children go to kindergarten, they have to leave the comfortable home environment and go to a place where there are rules; Leave the familiar family and go to the group to get along with teachers and classmates; You may not be afraid to ask someone for help when you have a problem.
At this time, the child will inevitably have emotions, and he will keep saying that he does not want to go to kindergarten.
Although this is the case, when a child does not want to go to school, we still need to provide appropriate help to help him get through this period, so as not to accumulate emotions and he really does not want to go to school more and more.
When a child expresses negative emotions, out of love, we always want to help him get rid of these bad feelings as soon as possible.
So, we hurriedly denied his feelings: "Kindergarten is very fun, you see you are still playing with your friends on the slide, how happy." ”
Or busy reasoning with him: "The children are going to kindergarten, you see everyone is going, you have to go too." ”
Such words will only deepen the impression that the child "does not want to go". Because he thinks, what you said is not right, kindergarten is not good, he just doesn't want to go.
Imagine if we complain that we are too tired at work, too poor in leadership, and we don't want to go to work. At this time, my partner came over and said, "Then how can I not go to work?" No matter how hard the work is, you have to endure it, and if you don't want to go, you have to go. ”
At this time, do you have more aversion to "going to work"? Ben is just talking, but now he is more and more reluctant to go, who falls in love with this class!
But if your partner says, "Yes, it's really annoying to work and tired and annoying." So at this time, you turn on the spit mode and tell all your unpleasantness.
After saying that, do you feel much more comfortable, and you feel that you can still continue to go to work if you endure it a little longer?
Therefore, when a child says that he does not want to go to kindergarten, we may as well accept his emotions: "Yes, it does feel unaccustomed to going to school. Or, "When you leave home and go to kindergarten, you miss your mom and want to be with mom, right?" ”
By acknowledging your child's feelings, thoughts and emotions, your child will be less emotional, and he will be able to slowly and rationally look at and accept going to kindergarten.
In addition to accepting children's emotions, we also need to give children some support in life.
I don't want to go to school because I'm worried that my child won't do well at school. So, as soon as the child came out of the school gate, many parents began to ask three times: "Did you cry in kindergarten?" "Did the teacher criticize you?" "Did your classmates bully you?" ”
The children who were originally quite happy, were asked like this, and those bad feelings at school came instantly, and they had to cry if they didn't want to cry.
It's like when I just walked out of the door of the company, my friend asked me, did my colleague bully you? Did the leader criticize you? How is the work done?
Don't mention it, it's all tears when you mention it, and I'm wronged!
In psychology, there is a term called "framing". When you're talking to someone, it's easy to set the framework and steer the conversation in a positive or negative direction.
As soon as we ask these unpleasant things, we set a negative box for the child, so that his impression of the kindergarten is bad and bad.
Then it's strange that he is willing to go to school.
We can set a positive box. For example, "What's the happiest thing?" "What's the name of your best friend?" "What fun games did you play with your best friends?" ”
As soon as the child recalled, oh, it turned out that it was quite good in kindergarten, and he was very happy. The more positive impressions there are, the more the child will gradually be willing to go.
Of course, we will also worry about the child being wronged at school, and want to know what happened to him at school, so how can we ask?
Cuckoo's mother once spent a book in the parenting group, called "Game Power", which took many parents into their children's hearts in the way of games.
Bu Niu didn't want to go to kindergarten for a while, so Cuckoo played a game of pretend with her.
The little rabbit went to the kindergarten, wow, there are a lot of children here, and there are swings and slides, which is really fun. Suddenly, he saw the duckling hiding in the corner and crying, "What's wrong with you, duckling?"
At this time, Bu Niu took the duck and said, "I wet the bed, everyone laughs at me, I'm scared." ”
Only then did Cuckoo's mother know that she was still worried about wetting the bed. So, Cuckoo Mother comforted her with a little rabbit and said, "Don't be afraid, little duckling, I'll help you." ”
So I pretended to help the little rabbit get clean clothes, and told the other little dolls: "It's wrong to laugh at others, others will be sad, we need to help him." ”
After a few such games, Bu Niu released her emotions from the game, and then slowly forgot about it, and no longer hummed at the mention of kindergarten.
We can also play pretend games with our children, who will express a lot of things through the game and guide you to what help he needs.
As long as he releases his emotions in the game and gets the help he wants, then in life, he can become brave and strong.
Most children go to kindergarten because they don't feel safe and belonging.
For this, Cuckoo's mother made a move to take her to read "I Love Kindergarten Picture Books" to narrow the distance between her and the kindergarten.
Through picture books, Cuckoo Mom mainly asks these questions with Bu Niu**:
What should I do if I want to go to the toilet? What should I do when I encounter a meal that I don't want to eat? Who's going to pick me up after school? How is it good to have a quarrel with a good friend? What should I do if I am criticized?
Because these problems are basically the problems that children will encounter in school, but they don't know how to solve them, once they are buried in their hearts and not dealt with well, children may resist school and are unwilling to go to school.
For example, Bu Niu was a picky eater and was told by the teacher that she felt unhappy in kindergarten and that the teacher was not good.
Cuckoo's mother took her to read "Eat More and Grow Up" in "I Love Kindergarten Picture Books". The picture book tells a story called Doudou's picky eater, but after the persuasion and attempts of friends, Doudou finally found that after trying many dishes, it was still quite delicious.
Later, Bu Niu slowly tried to accept the new dishes, and when she came back, she said to me with a proud face: "Mom, let me tell you, I used to hate eating kelp, but now I eat it, I'm amazing, right?" ”
If the separation between the child and the family is more severe, then we can take him to read the picture book "Who will pick me up after school?" 》。It is to give your child a sure message: after you go to kindergarten, take a nap in the afternoon, and your mother or father will come to pick you up on time.
Such affirmation can bring a certain sense of security to the child, so that he will not be anxious at school all the time.
When Bu Niu first went to kindergarten, Bu Gu's mother also fought with her, and it took a lot of effort.
In her experience, Cuckoo Ma summed up a very good method, which is to take her to make a good friend.
Every time after school, when I saw who she was walking out with a smile, Cuckoo's mother immediately stepped forward to say hello: "You are a good friend of Bu Niu, may I ask what is your name?" ”
Then get to know each other's parents, and if they live close, Cuckoo will take the initiative to play together.
After getting acquainted, if Bu Niu is in a mood and refuses to go to kindergarten in the morning, Bu Gu will be cheeky to contact her friend's mother and ask them if they have set off, where they have gone, and go to school together.
As soon as she heard that her good friend was waiting for her, Bu Niu immediately became interested and willing to go out.
This trick saves Cuckoo a lot of effort, so you might as well try it.
All of the above are the experiences summed up by Cuckoo Mom, what other tricks do you have? Let's share it together
*From the Internet, invaded and deleted].
About author:Cuckoo mother, psychological counselor, family education instructor, marriage emotional counselor, focuses on children's psychology, understands children's easy parenting, and pays attention to it if you like the Contention Project
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