To have an independent personality and develop independent thinking skills, there are several factors that need to be eliminated.
1.Get rid of parental influence. Especially in families with strong traditional ideas. These parents may interfere excessively in their children's lives, including career choices, marriage, etc.
2.Get rid of ineffective socializing. In real life, many of us mostly participate in some meaningless social activities, which is not only a waste of time, but also may lead us into social traps.
3.Stay away from news that has nothing to do with us. In the age of information, all kinds of news and information fill our lives. However, a lot of news doesn't deserve our attention. Paying too much attention to these news can distract us and affect our thinking and judgment.
4.Get rid of the junk concepts and thinking instilled in traditional education. In the process of growing up, people may be educated to form some wrong ideas and ways of thinking. Therefore, it is necessary to constantly reflect and update our ideas and develop our independent thinking skills.
Today, I would like to discuss a topic that has attracted much attention - the influence of parents on children, which is a very sensitive topic. Because the mention of "filial piety" always causes a lot of controversy.
I want to emphasize that if you have a different opinion on my point of view, you can choose to close it or ignore it. When I express my views, I never talk about democracy, I am arbitrary, I don't like to argue with others.
On many platforms, I often share some experiences about career planning and entrepreneurship. Every day, a lot of people send me private messages asking me about changing jobs or starting a business.
I've found that some people are deeply influenced by their parents.
Some people may want to do what they love, but their parents want them to choose a job within the system;
Someone is interested in a nascent profession, but their parents only want them to work in a traditional industry;
Some people want to start a business, but their parents want them to choose a stable life.
I can understand these situations, but I want to emphasize that if your parents have a high income and you have benefited from their help to achieve financial independence, then working within the system is indeed a good option for hassle-free.
Because if your parents have some financial strength (relatively high level of education), then their advice may be wise, and then you can refer to their opinions appropriately. Note, however, that this is only a reference.
For children from poor families, I recommend that they think independently, not listen to their parents' advice, or even go against their parents' advice. In this way, maybe it is possible for oneself to fight for a little counterattack in his life.
Parents of the poor are often the most fond of talking about the culture of "filial piety", and they like to emphasize "raising children to prevent old age". That is, no matter what kind of material support parents give their children, no matter how much or how little. As children, you should all be grateful to them unconditionally and show gratitude to Dade.
In fact, everyone knows that if raising children is to prevent old age, then such an act is itself selfish and utilitarian.
You did not ask for the child's consent before giving birth, and the child was born without providing good education and material security. So in a way, such parents are irresponsible.
In the process of growing up, children not only do not get enough material security and educational resources, but they have been instilled with "poverty thinking" by you. Once your children want to be independent, it is unfair that you immediately put the hat of "filial piety" on their heads, restricting their freedom and development space.
In the TV series "Tiandao", **Ying's interpretation of the "filial piety" culture is very in place: the concept of "raising children to prevent old age" makes parents become natural creditors of their children. This feeling is higher than the mountains and deeper than the sea. Parents are always thinking about how to make their children pay off their debts and be kind. This culture makes it impossible for everyone to stand up. From the history of this nation, it can be seen that the culture of "filial piety" makes people bend over and live all the time. Moreover, the more the elderly emphasize raising children to prevent old age, the more likely they are to feel disadvantaged and psychologically unbalanced.
Parents of wealthy people often do not emphasize the culture of "filial piety." They are all responsible people and will not have children if they are not ready. If you give birth to a child, you will be able to provide sufficient security and a good educational environment for your child's growth and education.
After graduation, they can also provide all kinds of help and support to their children, but they do not put mental shackles on their children, nor do they use moral kidnapping to limit their freedom, but let them enjoy life without constraints.
Ironically, however, children from poor families who emphasize "filial piety" all day long often do not honor their parents when they get married, because they have been working hard in society since they became adults. Under the pressures of life, they will be well aware that all their disappointments are due to family reasons.
How can they listen to their parents? Once there is such a tendency, those rogue parents will immediately put the hat of "filial piety" on their children, making them irresistible.
If a child shows the slightest sign of resistance, they will be labeled as "unfilial", leaving them feeling anxious and ashamed, creating a vicious circle.
In wealthy families, the culture of "filial piety" is usually not emphasized. They understand that children are independent individuals and should have their own freedoms to pursue. Parents understand that independence is essential for their children.
These parents understand that a life without constraints is a complete life, so they encourage their children to pursue what they love and do their best to support them.
Parents of wealthy families often help their children when they keep trying and making mistakes, encouraging them to keep going. In the end, children find their way, and children will thank their parents for their help and support.
However, parents in poor families may not give their children enough support and understanding. Instead, they may emphasize the concept of "filial piety" and try to limit the child's freedom and development space with moral kidnapping.
These parents may feel that they have the right to control their children's actions and decisions to meet their needs and desires.
The recently popular South Korean film Parasite tells the story of three classes: the wealthy who live in villas, the servants who clean up, and the inferior who live in basements and earn their living on leftovers.
When the lights are turned on, you can only hide under the couch like a cockroach. ”
There is no escape. The film reveals the conflict between rich and poor and the importance of moral education. When people encounter conflicts between rich and poor, they often think of their family and upbringing.
In wealthy families, parents will show an open mind. Children born into such families are fortunate and have the right to think and make decisions for themselves. They are free to pursue their goals without being tied down by their parents' expectations and manipulations.
For children born into poor families, they need to work harder to get out of poverty, they need to be aware that their situation is caused by the irresponsibility of their parents, they need to be independent and self-improving, and they need to fight back.
Although the probability of becoming a wealthy generation is low, it is possible to change one's destiny as long as you work hard and keep improving.
If you decide to have children, think carefully about whether you can provide them with good conditions. Including allowing children to grow up unfettered and unbound by any moral kidnapping.
If you can't guarantee these conditions, then don't let the next generation suffer.
Even if we have different family backgrounds, everyone still needs to work hard to pursue their goals. Whether our parents were scholars, farmers, workers, or businessmen, we should strive to make our lives. The first step is to be independent and self-reliant, without any restrictions.
My own family is also very ordinary, and after graduating from college, my parents gave me a lot of advice and "distractions". In the beginning, it was difficult for me to get out of this "cage" and I was under a lot of moral pressure.
But when I successfully started my own business and traveled to many countries, my mind became more open-minded. I began to look at my family background and realized that financial independence was the foundation of respect.
While it's vulgar to talk about money, it's when you're financially independent that other people really start respecting you. It's a fact.
I never held a grudge against my parents, because many of their ideas were influenced by the background of the times.
What we should do is to take good care of them in the future and provide for them in their old age, but we should never use the word "filial piety" to describe our attitude towards them.
We should also fail to instill in our children the culture of "filial piety", and we should remove this stereotype from our lexicon.