Carnegie said in The Weakness of Human Nature:
The saddest person in the world is that he has no merits to show off, but he hides his pitiful inferiority complex with disgusting arrogance and boasting.Once upon a time, we thought that people had to live a high-profile life in order to be seen, recognized, and respected.
It wasn't until more than half of my life that I saw too many cruel realities along the way that I suddenly realized:
The more flamboyant a person lives, the more tragic the ending will be, and behind all the high-profile is a kind of self-stomping.
Especially when people reach middle age, if you are still high-profile in these 3 things, then the bitterness will come.
A few years ago, my friend Chen Hao was very optimistic about the maternal and infant industry, so he resigned and opened a maternal and infant products store.
On the opening day, many friends and relatives came to congratulate him, Chen Hao said in his speech
Within three years, I will open at least three stores in the city, and the five-year plan is to break through ten branches, and strive to change a 140-square-meter house for my wife and children.Everyone present applauded and cheered, and some people said, "Don't forget us when we develop." ”
Chen Hao was carried away at that time, but he still underestimated the ruthlessness of reality after all.
After the opening of the mother and baby store, the sales were always unsatisfactory, and it was maliciously complained by competitors many times.
What's even more troublesome for Chen Hao is that some relatives often come to him to block him, idle people want to come to a certain job, and those with children want to take advantage of it, either take one or two cans of milk powder, or go back with a few clothes, and keep saying:
Mr. Chen is going to open a chain store, and he doesn't miss me this money, so I will give it together next time! ”
Chen Hao couldn't save face, so he could only respond with a wry smile: "No problem." ”
Later, more and more debts were owed by relatives and friends, and the market competition became more and more fierce, and sales gradually showed a situation of making ends meet.
Chen Hao borrowed money from relatives and friends, but he prevaricated him with various reasons, and he could only mortgage the 90-square-meter house he lived in to the bank for a loan.
In the end, Chen Hao failed to save the store after taking out a loan of 800,000 yuan, and he had to transfer it at a low price in the second year.
Chen Hao has been very decadent since the failure of his business, and some relatives not only did not comfort him, but also took the opportunity to mock: "We haven't seen your big house yet, why did we close the store?" ”
Chen Hao felt like a fish in his throat for a while, and he couldn't wait to go back in time and take back his original rhetoric.
Being too high-profile on a goal is a harbinger of failure.
As the saying goes:
"True determination is to keep a trace. Every time a high-profile oath is taken, it is just a bluff. ”
People have a promising goal of doing good things, but they are afraid of wantonly publicizing them and adding to their troubles and sorrows.
The reality is cruel, the human heart is sinister, and you can easily expose your thoughts, not only can not help you, but may also attract ridicule and jealousy from others.
You know, there aren't many people in this world who really want you to succeed, and most of them are waiting to see your jokes.
Middle-aged people are no longer children, dreams are not shouted by, things must be done little by little, and goals must be realized step by step.
Walking the road under your feet in a down-to-earth manner and transforming in silence are the operating rules of the real world.
Do you have someone like that around you?
It's hard to see when he's calm and calm, and all day long he's either complaining about life or throwing tantrums blaming others.
They are like a ticking time bomb, thundering at the slightest disappointment, completely disregarding their surroundings and the feelings of others.
I've seen such a **:
The man and his family accompanied his father to the hospital to see a doctor, but they were stopped by the traffic police because of overloading, and the traffic police fined him 50 yuan and deducted 6 points in accordance with the regulations.
The man begged the traffic police not to deduct points, but the traffic police said that they were acting in accordance with the law and that they had no right to be accommodating.
The man's plea was fruitless, and he instantly lost control of his emotions, pulled his 3-year-old son out of the car and threw him on the ground, shouting loudly:"Overloaded, right, then I don't want children. ”
The young son was thrown and cried bitterly, bleeding from his forehead and nose, and bystanders and family members around him blamed the man for his actions.
The man regretted that the child was bleeding more than once, and then said angrily to the traffic police"If you want to be fined, you will be punished, and I will leave after the ticket. ”
But the traffic police saw that the man was out of control and worried that he would have potential safety hazards when driving on the road, so he refused the man's request again.
The traffic police told the man to calm down before leaving, and they arranged for someone to take the children and the elderly to the hospital.
The man sat down on the ground with great remorse, and it was only then that he realized:
Not only did he lose his temper but also made things worse, and his son was injured as a result.
There's a term in psychology called "emotional giant baby":
It refers to adults like unweaned children, who have no ability to regulate their emotions, want to go along with themselves in everything, lose their temper whenever they go against their will, and do not consider the feelings and consequences of others.
In the cognition of the emotional giant, tantrums are a way to prove that they are strong.
However, the reality is that silently internalizing one's emotions is the logic of the strong.
Really strong people have a stable core, and they will not put joy and anger on their faces and say sorrow on their lips.
Halfway through their lives, they have learned to face the impermanence of life calmly and respond to all changes with no change.
High-profile propaganda of emotions will only fall into the quagmire of reality; Only by dealing with emotions in a low-key manner can the bitterness of life be resolved.
Be a quiet adult, and you will see another possibility in life, where there is no lightning and thunder, only light clouds and light winds.
A netizen once talked about one of his experiences:
Once, a netizen company had a promotion opportunity, and the candidates were netizens and a senior.
Due to the seniority, he will retire in a few years, and netizens think that they have no hope of winning.
Who knew that during the public voting, many colleagues gave their votes to netizens, and netizens were a little surprised, and later asked colleagues with good relationships to learn the truth.
It turned out that the seniors relied on their long tenure in the company, and often relied on the old in front of their colleagues to point fingers at the work of others.
Although many colleagues didn't say anything, they had a lot of complaints about their seniors in their hearts, so they didn't want to vote for their seniors, worried that their seniors would be more fearless after they were promoted.
In addition, netizens are low-key and reliable, so they naturally become the best candidates in the hearts of colleagues.
The leader intended to give the opportunity to the seniors, but the seniors were unpopular, so they only said a few words of comfort casually.
If you think about it carefully, the different circumstances of netizens and predecessors are actually destined in their style of dealing with the world.
High posture is a poison in life, the higher a person floats, the more resistance he encounters in life.
The strong in reality have long since discarded the flashy arrogance, leaving only the wise gentleness and low-key.
At the age of 30, Perkins, an American educator, was appointed president of the University of Chicago.
At that time, many people saw that he was young and questioned whether he was capable of doing it.
Perkins smiled faintly when he learned about it, and then said:
A 30-year-old man knows so little and needs to rely on his assistant and ** principal so much.Seeing that Perkins was so modest and well prepared, everyone didn't say anything more.
I like this sentence very much:
"Life has ups and downs, and our state when we are up and down is the posture when we get up. ”
The most respectable appearance of a person is not when he is condescending, but when his posture is like smoke.
Everyone in the world has self-esteem, and no one likes to be looked down upon by others, and no one wants to indulge your arrogance.
All the high posture is singing about themselves.
For the rest of your life, if you want to live a smooth life, you must maintain a humble and gentle heart, and be kind and friendly to others.
Because, if you give respect to others, they will return you with tenderness.
Writer Feng Jicai said:
To be low-key is to live in your own world, and to be high-profile is to live in someone else's world.Being low-key is never about being humble, it's about shifting the focus of life to yourself.
Don't care about other people's eyes, don't be trapped in other people's evaluations, and concentrate on depicting your own life.
No matter how big your dreams are, how many grievances you have, and how high your heart is, you don't have to announce it to others.
After all, many things in life must be internalized by oneself, self-a**, and continue to accumulate experience and energy.
When your heart is strong and full, you will disdain any display and will only want to try to live your own color.
Lit[Looking]., May you and I laugh at the impermanence of fate, listen to the voices of people, and live the rest of our lives calmly.