Now during the Spring Festival, young people are less and less fond of visiting relatives.
I'm afraid to ask about income, I'm afraid to urge marriage, I'm afraid to ask why I don't have children, I'm afraid to ask about privacy. With the advancement of urbanization, many of our traditional living habits and concepts are changing.
There has been a dramatic shift in young people's attitudes towards marriage, property and childbearing. The old planning model has gradually been broken, and more and more young people choose not to get married, buy a house, or have children. The reasons behind them are complex and varied.
One: economic costs.
Getting married, buying a house and buying a car, ranging from hundreds of thousands to millions. If there is no mine at home, parents have not enjoyed full dividends in the great development wave of the past 30 years, and it is basically impossible to easily buy a car and a house. For many young people, getting married, buying a car and buying a house will basically hollow out the accumulation of one or two families for decades.
If you do it in installments, you are not only putting in the savings of your parents, grandparents, and so on for a lifetime, but also your own possibilities for the next 30 years. What's more, many young people are also facing employment pressure and salary growth, and they find it difficult to afford to buy a house.
2.The cost of raising a baby.
According to this report, the average cost of raising a child aged 0-17 in families across the country is 4850,000 yuan, the average cost of raising a baby in urban families is higher than that in rural areas, with an average of 630,000 yuan, while in Shanghai and Beijing, the cost of raising a baby is basically about 1 million. This is still only until the age of 17, and if you add a college degree, then the average cost of raising a family in the country is 6270,000 yuan, not counting the time cost and opportunity cost that women need to pay because of childbirth and raising children, if you want to invite a confinement lady or an aunt, the money is simply not enough. If you add in the purchase of a house and a car after the child graduates, it will be even more.
Not only the children, but also the parents of both parties, you have to take responsibility for the support, right? Usually give some living expenses, buy some gifts for the New Year's holidays are small problems, until one of the elderly on both sides has a serious illness and sees the medical bill, you know what is called despair. This kind of thing, when you are in your thirties or forties, generally does not have only one time. There is no doubt that these expenditures are astronomical. And the vast majority of this money is not spent on yourself.
Two: Mental cost.
The biggest cost in marriage is not the economic cost, but the spiritual cost. Marriage means family, and maintaining a family means that you need to live in harmony with many people, which requires us to pay an extremely high moral cost.
1.Relationship Adjustment:
After getting married, you must fully consider the feelings and emotions of the other party in every thing, every minute, and every action in your life, and be ready to make mental compromises anytime and anywhere, and have to give up your spiritual comfort and bear the spiritual responsibility of making yourself unhappy and even painful. Two people need to adapt to each other's lifestyles, habits, and personalities, which may require some relationship adjustments and run-ins.
2.As a parent, responsibility is assumed.
When you get married and have children, you have to take on the spiritual responsibility of raising children. Raising children is not about spending money, it's more about paying mentally. Being a parent comes at a great mental cost. When your child is still an infant or toddler, every time you get sick and have a fever, it is a mental torture for you. You have to be good at your child's homework.
3.Emotional commitment: Maintaining a healthy marriage requires emotional commitment and effort, including caring, understanding, support, and tolerance. This emotional investment can also be seen as a mental cost.
4.There is also the spiritual cost of getting along with the seven aunts and eight aunts, relatives and friends around this family after marriage. During the New Year's holidays, **do not do it in place, **do not conform to the rules. It will become a pretext for relatives to gossip behind their backs, and it will cost money to work hard.
This kind of spiritual sacrifice, compromise, and grievance is precisely the most unbearable thing for young people, and it is also the fundamental reason why the vast majority of people divorce.
Three: The benefits of marriage are getting lower and lower.
The most important role of marriage, in addition to procreation, is actually mutual assistance. During the period when agricultural production was mainly inefficient, it was extremely difficult to live alone, to do heavy farm work, and to go home to cook and do housework, so it was necessary to live in a partner. Men and women weave, each with their own responsibilities, this kind of mutual assistance can make the family live.
In modern terms, especially in big cities, it doesn't mean much. People are able to live well, if not better, by themselves, even if they do not have an intimate relationship with anyone for the rest of their lives and are completely self-reliant. People can live their lives smoothly without relying on a specific person, but on social and market forces, in terms of material needs.
Four: self-worth realization.
These economic and spiritual costs vary from person to person and from place to place, but they are heavy for any person, especially for young people who seek freedom. And insisting on being single and not marrying, these costs will be greatly reduced.
Young people pursue and self-actualize. They want more time and space to pursue their hobbies, travel, and explore. The responsibilities of marriage, home ownership, and raising children can bring all sorts of constraints and restrictions into their lives. Therefore, in order to pursue personal freedom and independence, they are more inclined not to get married, not to buy a house, and not to have children.
There are various reasons behind young people not getting married, buying a house, or having children. Economic pressures, personal pursuits, and changes in the social environment are all pushing young people to rethink traditional ideas. They are more focused on personal freedom and independence, as well as a full and meaningful life. This phenomenon has also triggered us to reflect on and redefine traditional family values.