The Expression of Love: Students' Lack of Love Behavior and the Cultivation of Parents' Emotional Intelligence!
The following student behaviors reveal their extreme lack of love, but parents use aggression as emotional intelligence to develop a pleasant personality.
In Chinese families,"Sensible"It is regarded as the highest compliment for a child. It often symbolizes that students take on more responsibility than their peers, showing extraordinary understanding, thereby alleviating many of the parents' concerns.
However, this form of education, which seems to be enviable to the outside world, is increasingly being questioned. It is true that precocious, non-talkative students have become role models for teachers, parents, relatives, and neighbors. But what does the future hold for these students?
A student was depressed and questioned his parents:"Why is it that the more sensible I am, the more severe you are? Most elementary school students are taught to be from an early age"Be a good boy"。However, over time, they discovered"Bad students"Got all the pampering and tolerance, and the good students except for this"Fame"Otherwise, aggression is often the only thing left.
A doctor shared a patient's experience. Soon after graduating from college, the patient developed significant symptoms of depression and irritability. It turned out that she always was"Alternative"good student.
As time went on, her parents demanded more and more from her. After graduating, she met something that could be used"The straw that broke the camel's back"to describe the situation. Although her family's economic conditions are average, her parents often cry poor. My father's relatives were sick and hospitalized, and they came up with 20,000 yuan and said they didn't have to pay for it.
The daughter cried bitterly when she heard this:"Do you know how hard it is for me to work outside the home and earn a little salary every month? I even lived in the worst house and couldn't buy nice clothes like other girls. It's right not to ask for help, but at least for me, I should also be devastated, having money for others to use and being indifferent myself.
Whenever this graduate mentioned the problems she was having at work, her parents always accused her of not being strong enough and talked about them"In the past"Efforts to nurture children.
Her crying was many"Good girl"Inner Voice:"Why is it that the more sensible I am, the stricter you are? When their daughter, who had always been obedient, suddenly said such a thing, the parents were very confused and had to take her to the doctor to explain.
Unexpectedly, however, it was their parents who were criticized by the doctors, who said that such rebellion was normal. Parents were surprised and could only laugh at themselves before too"Sluggishness"Because many adult problems are planted at a very young age.
The student's behavior showed a lack of affection, but her parents saw her aggressive behavior as a sign of emotional intelligence. In fact, such excessive strictness on the part of parents is neither true love nor good manners. Some parents don't seem to realize that one of the most common mistakes to make is to show love and tolerance to outsiders while insisting on being empathetic to their own children.
The doctor emphasized that if the student has the following behaviors, they have felt:"Not loved"Finish. Parents should not associate this aggressive behavior with"High emotional intelligence"Mix the two up. If parents don't take the initiative to adjust their own education methods, they will only be cultivated in the end"Annoying character"。
Capturing other people's emotions too early and overdulging in family conflicts.
Teacher Wu Zhihong clearly pointed out that a normal family should be an adult who tolerates children and endures children's pressure, rather than students accommodating their parents' emotions and sharing the pressure for their parents.
A good family environment should be one in which parents accept their children's joys and sorrows. However, many people turn this relationship upside down, relying on their children to comfort themselves when parents have arguments, conflicts, or anxieties at work. Some students even"Walking on thin ice", for fear of making your parents angry, this is undoubtedly an abnormal phenomenon.
Overly modest, presented"Kong Rong let the pear"student image.
Many parents may not know that Kong Rong's proposal for pears has been regarded as a negative teaching material for domestic education abroad. Nowadays, more and more parents and teachers believe that it is too unfair to exchange one person's sacrifice and grievance for the benefit of others.
These students have to take care of both their older brother and their younger sister. This way of growing is likely to lead to:"Good guy character"It may also become a habit that parents themselves pass on to their children, consciously or unconsciously, when caring for their relatives.
Overconfident and would rather endure the pain alone than ask for help.
It is our responsibility to cultivate the independence of our children, otherwise we will develop a sense of irresponsibility"Giant babies"。However, some parents go to extremes and pursue their children's independence excessively, ignoring the effective guidance of their children, and then bringing students into a state of publicity.
Some students seem to be very independent and don't want to bother their parents even when they get stuck. Actually, this is a sign of bravery. However, this fear and lack of asking for help will put students in a difficult situation when they enter the labor market in the future.
Culture"A likable personality"It may seem like a relief to parents, but it may bear painful fruits in the future.
Students have a natural tendency to worry about their parents' opinions, especially those with excellent grades. However, moderation is the key to cultivating any quality, and there are many potential risks associated with blindly pursuing the satisfaction of parents.
Some parents even deliberately nurture such students because it seems to make their lives"Easier"。However, they may not realize that sooner or later the consequences will come. First of all, the rebellious period of these students may have come later, but probably than"Uneducated"of peers come more violently, and some will even explode in middle age.
Second, there are very few successful people in the workplace"Good guys"。Often, graduates who learn to fight for their own interests and are good at arguing are more likely to adapt to the work environment. What do parents gain if their children do not perform well in the workplace? This kind of education may seem convenient in the short term, but in the long run, it can have irreparable consequences.
Topic] What other insinuations have you seen?