“If you don't get married for a day, I won't be able to sleep well for a day, and how many of you of the same generation have not yet started a family?
If you don't get married, how can you be worthy of our upbringing over the years?
We're not forcing you, we're all doing it for your good.
You are not young anymore, and others will pick you in the future, now find an honest person to live a good life. Can we still hurt you?
Familiar with these words, right?
It's a festive seasonIn addition to the traditional reunion and joy, some young people are facing another kind of trouble: being urged to marry by their elders!
In the festive atmosphere, the inquiries and urgings of family members make them feel stressed and anxious.
Yu Hua's words broke this Chinese-style concept of marriage, which made many netizens call him the writer who understands young people best.
What exactly is urging marriage?
Urging marriage seems to be a concern for the marital status of young people, but in fact it hides a deeper meaning.
In traditional Chinese concepts, marriage is regarded as a duty and obligation, carrying the expectation of family continuity and social stability.
Parents often say, "As long as you get married, our obligations are over." ”
The truth about being urged to marry by his parents was exposed by Teacher Yu Hua.
A collection of his ten years of essays"We Live in a Huge Gap".wrote:
Chinese-style urging marriage, it doesn't matter if you love or not, the important thing is to tie the knot;
It doesn't matter if you're happy or not, the important thing is to tie the knot;
It doesn't matter if you have money or not, the important thing is to tie the knot.
Your parents are urging you to get marriedMeaningfulThe reason is that as long as you have a family, their responsibilities as parents are over.
This seems to be a gap in concept, but in fact, it is a gap between us and our parents.
This extreme disparity leads us to have a different view of marriage from our parents.
Parents feel that marriage is a necessary task in life, and we feel that marriage is the result of love.
The purpose of the elders to urge marriage is not simply to hope that their children will find true love, but to hope that they will complete the transformation of this social role as soon as possible and complete the traditional life task.
In their view, marriage means that the children have matured enough to live independently and contribute to the continuation of the family.
This sense of responsibility is the real motivation behind the urging of marriage!
In the traditional concept, marriage is not only the crystallization of love, but also a symbol of social status and the continuation of family honor.
Therefore, the marriage urging behavior of the elders is essentially the pursuit of a sense of responsibility for the children and the continuation of the family.
People say:A parent's love for their children will only be truly reflected when their children grow up.
Indeed it is. In addition to the traditional concept of marriage, behind the urging of marriage also contains the deep concern of the elders for their children.
The marriage urging behavior of the elders is essentially the concern and expectation for the growth and happiness of the children.
They hope that their children will be able to find a suitable partner as soon as possible, build a strong family, and enjoy the emotional support and stability that marriage brings.
In their view, marriage is not only a duty and obligation, but also a symbol of maturity and happiness.
The marriage urging behavior of the elders is also a kind of care and expression, and it is the expectation of a happy life for the children.
Why do young people resent being urged to marry?
Some time ago, a ** of "being urged to marry by my mother" became a hot search.
A 28-year-old woman complained about her mother:
My mom was talking to me today because I wasn't married, so she felt hersLife is a failure.
She now thinks that I don't marry because I am sick, and she thinks that I have made her very shameless, that is, you don't marry and have children at your ageThere is no face.
* The mother even belittles her daughter, thinking that her daughter is too high-minded to be".No one wants it at an advanced age
*Once it was issued, it resonated with countless netizens, and the comment area said the voices of countless young people:
Don't try to debate with your parents about marriage, because your parents' killer is to wipe your tears in front of you.
I really think that urging marriage is a thing without a sense of boundaries.
Chinese-style marriage urging: It's wrong not to get married when you are old, it's a shame, it's unfilial, and how many children have been kidnapped with the sentence "It's all for your good".
In contemporary society, it is not uncommon to be urged to marry by elders, which is not a simple family conflict, but also involves a variety of social changes and the collision of individual values.
Behind this is a reflection of young people's re-examination of the concept of marriage and the pursuit of self-choice.
Actor Chen Shu once said in an interview: Sometimes I hate the education I received when I was a child, why should I be instilled with the idea of "it's good to get married".
With the change of the times, young people have begun to place more emphasis on individual freedom and happiness, and marriage is no longer just the fulfillment of social responsibility, but also the expression of personal feelings.
themThere is a growing tendency to approach marriage rationally and emotionally, rather than simply acting according to traditional expectations.
I hope to find a partner who is in touch with my heart and build a solid emotional foundation.
Therefore, the excessive urging behavior of the elders often arouses the disgust and resistance of young people, believing that this concept of marriage is out of touch with real life, and even causes family conflicts.
Write at the end
Marriage is a symphony of the times, blending tradition and modernity, responsibility and freedom.
Urging marriage, although it seems to be a love for children, is actually a commitment to the traditional concept of **10,000 fans incentive plan and the commitment to social responsibility.
However, with the progress of society and the change of concepts, marriage is no longer a simple responsibility and obligation, but also an expression of individual emotions and happiness.
When it comes to marriage, respecting individual choices and understanding each other's positions may lead to a more harmonious way of getting along.
May every young person find their own happiness and make love the most beautiful footnote in life.
Encourage you