01Ambiguous, what does it really feel like?
Recently, I received such a message in the background, and I heard that your friend Xiaoxiao asked me for help: "I seem to prefer ambiguity to falling in love, am I a scumbag?" ”
Many girls have confusion like Xiaoxiao.
Relationships that are above friends and unfulfilled lovers are indeed easier to get on than relationships that require a lot of time to run in and have responsibilities and constraints.
But if you think about it, why do you enjoy ambiguity so much, but you don't want to enter into a relationship?
In fact, when there is ambiguity, you and he test each other in extreme tugging, and seek each other's verification in the midst of imminent separationSee through but don't say through, see through but don't pierce through.
You both enjoy this brief and warm but shy and restrained feelingThree points of liking, three points of temptation, four points of charm and seduction, this feeling is very charming in itself.
Tests have proven that ambiguity will prompt your body to secrete more dopamine and oxytocin in the hind lobe, and as a result, your body will produce a feeling of being overwhelmed.
At this time, your eyes are full of each other's aura and strengths, and the disadvantages are automatically blocked by the filterUnder the influence of the "halo effect", you seem to have found the so-called dream lover.
What do those who like to be ambiguous think?
Why do so many people like to play ambiguous?
In fact, it is often derived from the following 3 psychology:
1.I have been hurt in a relationship where I have given sincerely, and I am afraid to face pain again in a new and determined relationship.
The injuries suffered in the previous relationship will make her unconsciously strengthen self-protection, afraid of facing conflicts, worried about quarrels and conflicts, and afraid of facing the pain of falling out of love again.
2.Take the ambiguity at the moment as a delaying tactic, and still look forward to meeting a better lover.
They don't want to rush into a relationship, although the person she meets so far is very good, but she always feels that there is no best, only better, then, instead of letting herself be alone before meeting the person she likes the most, it is better to enjoy the romance from another person.
3.Enjoy the emotional value that comes with ambiguity and don't want to be bound by a definite relationship.
Just like everyone likes to spend money, but few people like hard work, similarly, ambiguity does not need to invest too much time, energy and feelings, and does not need to pay responsibility and hard work, but a romantic relationship requires each other to be responsible and responsible for each other.
People who choose to be ambiguous think that instead of being shackled by a relationship that has landed safely, it is better to walk freely in a relationship that can be withdrawn at any time.
Can I just be in an affair and not be in love?
Back to Xiaoxiao's question, you enjoy the ambiguity very much, but you don't want to enter into love, it is completely your freedom, but if the other party has paid sincerely in this ambiguity, then you have to bear the guilt and insecurity of hurting others, and even, pay the price for it.
There is another situation, when you are ambiguous, but you accidentally move your sincerity, in the same way, you also have to do a good job of the other party and others "official announcement", but you don't need to be prepared to inform you.
This feeling is actually no less than the real "being cheated".When you find that the person you once touched your heart with, but you retracted your heart and chose someone else, the sense of loss in your heart will always arise spontaneously.
In the first case, you can handle it yourself, and Brother Bei wants to remind the girls about the second situation.
If in the end you find that your heart and liking are not the only ones of the other party, but only one of his many choices, then you should not easily doubt yourself, but should be glad that you are not the one who is "chosen".
Because Lao Yan after the ambiguity is better than his heart after the relationship is confirmed, he will be ambiguous with you, but in the end he chose to be with someone else, there are not so many complicated reasons,Just because he doesn't like you enough.
The two major characteristics of love are exclusivity and longevity, and there is no real love that willingly stays in the ambiguous stage.
You know, a boy who just wants to be ambiguous with you, but doesn't want to confirm the relationship, is never love for you, but just enjoys the pink bubbles when he is with you.
Girl, may you always have the courage to open a warm and beautiful heartbeat, but you can also turn around indifferently when your love with him is over.