On February 1, 2024, my 85-year-old mother was taken care of by my second brother's family**, and my mother had been living independently until January 2023, because after wrestling on December 23, 2022, I took care of my mother for a month, and sent a letter to everyone in the group of everyone's court, informing everyone that my mother must have someone to accompany and take care of her. When I was a child, my mother was the heaven of my children, and when I grew up, my children were my mother's backing.
dear all
At the end of this year, everyone still handed in an answer sheet, either "yang", or "yang" health, or on the road of "yang", and in the fear of "yang", no matter what the state, life is still going on.
On December 23, 2022, when Mrs. Li was in a wheelchair, because of improper control of strength, after the wheelchair overturned, it took more than an hour to get up.
But the fear of that night made her urinate incontinence and confused all night, and only then did I have a feeling on the morning of the 24th, maybe after conditioning and mental recovery, I can briefly return to the state before the fall, but a person really can't live independently, considering that everyone is very concerned about her state, I will report the situation of the first three days to everyone, yesterday morning the consciousness began to clear, I can recall how the head and hand injuries came, how I fell, but go to the toilet and ** still have to be held, I couldn't hold my legs at all, but fortunately, my spirit recovered.
In the three days since the incident, day and night I have always been thinking: how we will take care of her in the future and how to live with her. When from my point of view, I haven't lived with my mother for 30 years, our living habits, our ideas have long been different, for everyone, it is the same, at least with my mother who has no ability to take care of herself, I think about it, it is difficult to think about me, this is not a momentary kindness and filial piety can be done, make her comfortable and make us comfortable, it has become a new subject for me to learn and overcome. Fortunately, with everyone together, I think the wisdom and strength of the 14 of us can always take care of a mother, even our Xiaoyi and Kaikai's sunny smile is a contribution.
I lay on the window and looked at my dad hanging on the wall, in his 50 years of life, I think about it, he only gave himself and us only a quarter of the time, I can't remember that he gave us a parent-teacher conference? Have you accompanied us with our homework? Ever had a meaningful event? No, most of his time is given to the big family, the young man is in charge, filial piety to his father, and caring for his brothers and sisters; It was given to the peasants who liked him, although the official position was not large, and he worked hard all his life, and finally entered the enterprise to do management for a few years, and he also took the lead in dirty work, he is a character written in a book that I saw with my own eyes in reality: during his illness, the secretary of the district party committee came to see him, and he asked for his last salary as party dues.
Alas, I was thinking that if he had spent some time with us, managed our studies, and arranged a path for us in terms of resources, I would have at least been able to become a women's federation or a propaganda minister. Haha, tell some jokes and lighten up the atmosphere. But it was this selfless father that earned my respect and everyone's respect. During his illness, the two virtuous and kind daughters-in-law rubbed his legs with hot water and massaged him every day to relieve his pain, and the daughters-in-law did what the sons did not do.
Looking at my mother's situation now, she has lived to be 83 years old, and she has not experienced any other major illnesses and disasters except for her legs.
In the past few years, she has to wrestle every winter, because it is cold, her body function can not produce heat, so she will wear a lot of ground, and her body, which is no longer flexible, is more bulky, even if someone is there, wrestling or other accidents will happen, but how we will face it later.
I felt a lot in the past two days, our brothers and sisters have mediocre qualifications, but they have all got good partners in life, especially our family Lao Hong, handsome and chic when he was young, gentle and elegant when he is old, the key is fraternity (show a handful of affection), always accompany me when I need it most, and drive 120 kilometers back and forth every day; The three introduced by the juniors are not only superior to their peers in terms of knowledge and professional skills, but also better in morality. Huihui, Cai Cai, and Jiang Bo all called ** as soon as they knew about it, awakening grandma's consciousness, and Zhou Jiangbo said that he would take care of his grandma together; Cai Cai said that he would come as soon as he turned yin; Our teacher Huihui transferred money to Alipay in the first action, and asked me to find a better nurse to take care of it together, saying that after all, our generation is about 60 years old, and our energy and physical strength are not enough; As a mother's daughter, thank you very much! The old Lu family is so lucky to have such an excellent child as you as a family.
When things happen, there is always a backbone, and the backbone of our family is the boss, but now he is "yang" in the field, so after we communicated, we initially decided to take care of each family for a month, which may or may not be feasible, try it first, especially at the moment of the epidemic, there is no better way.
Considering that my body is not obviously "yang" at present, and my daughter's position is also incomparable to you, haha, I will come first first, I want to help her recover her confidence through this time, the possibility of the body is very small, if you can help her recover to the edge of the bed before the fall, at least she can go to the bedside to solve the problem of urinating and urinating by herself, then the back is just to accompany her, solve the problem of eating and bathing for her, and take care of her from dangerous actions.
Through these three days, her spirit has recovered, but in the following days, I don't know if it will be smooth. First of all, each of us should have a virus in our bodies, and I am no exception, so I don't know when the sun is yang, if it is, this plan will change; Second, I haven't adapted to this sleeping environment, she snores all night and the uncomfortable sound of her legs having nowhere to put it, and she has to get up more than 10 times a day, (especially the uncomfortable sound, rebellious, selfishly, I even hope that my mother will sleep quietly on Christmas Eve, no longer in pain) I have not slept for the first three days, the first two days are less than 4 hours of sleep, if I can't adapt as soon as possible, I may not be able to strengthen my body, then maybe the plan will also change, I have to seek help from external forces. So I'm going to adjust as soon as possible to try to make her recover a little bit.
I would like to share with you my feelings in the past few days, of course, everyone has their own way of getting along and working, maybe what I have encountered is not a problem for you. There will definitely be many contradictions and new problems in the process of taking care of you, maybe she will say that I am not good in front of you, and she will also say that you are not in front of me, I think this is not a problem with her thinking, but her sensibility and control have changed because of her body and age, especially we also have our own family and our own interests center, so I hope you can let go of your prejudices, let go of your ego and work together to help your mother go through the last road.
If the plan can go smoothly in the early stage of the family for a month, please use your mother's card to pay the water and electricity bills and property fees every month, so as to solve the problem of using more and using less, and then use your mother's living expense card for 1,000 yuan to buy vegetables, I don't need to be a speaker, and the two brothers and sisters-in-law should do more than me.
If the company doesn't dismiss me, I may still work for a year or two, and this job brings me not only material security, but also spiritual dignity and nourishment. Some time ago, our sister-in-law said that the doctor asked her to take calcium tablets, and I said then you can eat it, she said it was too expensive, and I bought it for her for 3 months. I don't want my mom to say "my calcium tablets are gone" and I say it's too expensive, don't eat it. I would also like to have the opportunity to help you in addition to buying masks and medicines.
Thank you for having the patience to read my nagging, the main thing is that I want to be like the 2022 Nobel Prize winner French female writer (Anne Elta), who won the award at the age of 83, I still have 30 years to work hard, I will start by writing a letter to my family, you are my first readers, haha!
Let me tell you again: everyone has good suggestions and plans to discuss together, and practice while discussing.
Fengqin. December 26, 2022.