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In the last relationship, it was like this:
The deliciousness of the food at a meal no longer seems to be noticeable, the desire for physical intimacy is no longer a part of the movie, and even when emotions are at their most intense, the outpouring becomes brief and difficult to continue.
Still, we do our best to provide emotional support when the other person needs it, and we try to show that we care deeply for each other even when we are unwell.
Facing a friend's question about our way of falling in love - "How can you fall in love so well?" ”
I did not respond to a rebuttal.
Because deep down in my heart, this seemingly prosaic and uneventful stay is regarded by me as the safest emotional choice, although it lacks a warm spark, but it exudes a sense of security in the tranquility.
Faced with monetary compensation for a parent's failure to book an amusement park, choosing a seemingly stable profession that lacks interest, and being content with suboptimal options in material life, childhood experiences may have shaped an understanding of the balance between disappointment and satisfaction, and learned to find alternatives and find comfort in the absence of desired results.
However, although "willingness" can help cope with unsatisfactory realities, it may also lead to ignoring one's real needs and emotional demands in the long run, and even affect the space for self-worth realization and personal growth.
Often self-comforting, love may be able to operate regardless of the object, so as to dissipate the ripples of pain in the emotion, even in the face of the other party's hurtful behavior, he will habitually recall his little bit of warmth, as a good medicine to heal the current wounds.
On that unforgettable day, after witnessing countless heated arguments between my parents, I mustered up all the courage to ask my mother: Should people spend their lives with the people they truly love?
The mother smiled indifferently, and her answer seemed to be helpless after years of tempering:
When you reach a certain age, you won't think so, the feeling of liking is not a substitute for the necessities of life, and in the end, life is just trivial and insipid accommodation with each other. ”
It was in that moment that I suddenly realized how compromise would completely change the trajectory of my life, not just because of the possible mistakes on the road to marriage, but because after days and years of self-compromise and persuasion, we ourselves began to believe that our lives could only be spent in such compromises.
The world is harsh, and it will not be gentle with you just because you choose to compromise.
On the contrary, when you do not boldly pursue what you aspire to, the world will impose on you the most undesirable and unbearable fragments of life like a handout.
Just as after suffering a humiliation, there will often be a second and a third time one after another;
Once you rush into marriage under external pressure, you will be forced to swallow the bitter fruits of undeliberate choices at some unforeseen moment.
If you have already sensed the problem, but you plan to turn a blind eye and barely survive, then, in the long years to come, you may only have to face a face that can no longer stir up emotional waves, and live a life of drifting away and indifferent to each other.
In fact, the cost of compromise is far heavier than we think, and it's not just a pair of shoes that can be easily discarded after two years of wearing, nor is it as simple as leaving a trivial scratch in your life.
It will quietly make you habitually back down, using your every forbearance and concession until those who should have a better life, those who are more suitable, quietly fade out of sight of your future blueprint.
As the saying goes: "We always think that a little compromise and a little compromise can be exchanged for happiness, but when our bottom line falls lower and lower, it is often a lower level of results." ”
I began to choose foods that tickled my taste buds, decisively refused to participate in social activities that I resisted internally, and stopped using excuses like "just be it" and "just get by".
When my mother asked me why I had to give up a partner who seemed to be a good match, I would firmly respond to her, life is really long, and I hope that when I am 30 years old, I can enjoy the sea view with my loved ones, and at the age of 50, I can still laugh and walk home together.
Because of this, when I have children of my own in the future, I can teach them openly and honestly:
I came into this world not to give in and compromise, but to live passionately and sincerely.
In any case, you must have the courage to express your emotions directly, dare to pursue and hold happiness in your hands, and let go when you feel powerless.
Success and happiness as defined by the world, if you want to, you can go all out to strive for it, and if you don't want to, you can enjoy yourself and enjoy a unique piece of heaven.
Life can't be repeated, we can't go back to our childhood to make up for every birthday party, we can't go back to the age of 18 to refill the college entrance examination volunteers, and we can't erase the shadow of the past that we were tired of coping with and losing ourselves in love.
The only thing we can grasp is to speak up for our true feelings and live our lives in every ever-changing moment.
Someone told me that everything can be compromised and forgiven, but love cannot be compromised.
However, the reality is not so absolute.
In fact, nothing in this world should be easily compromised, and love is no exception.
The field of expertise you desire, the career path you dream of, the life ideals you are striving for, and the partner you have chosen after a lot of deliberation should all be determined and persevered to uphold them.
Even if the final result does not meet the perfect expectations, at least in the face of difficulties and challenges, you have never flinched and always been firm in yourself.
This kind of persistence and uncompromising is an important element that constitutes a valuable life, and it is also the attitude of life that we should strive for.
No matter who you're with, don't forget these three principlesClick on it, and don't settle for anything.