When a child speaks like this, it means that he is having a mental breakdown
Have you ever noticed that behind some of your child's unusual words, there may be a hidden struggle in their heart? As a counselor, I often encounter children who seem to have nothing wrong on the surface, but as soon as they speak, they reveal that something is wrong.
Xiao Ming is such a child. The first time he came to the counseling room, it was a weekend afternoon. His mother told me that Xiao Ming has been saying negative things lately, which has made her very worried.
Xiao Ming sat across from me and was silent for a while. I asked him, "Xiao Ming, have you been unhappy lately?" ”
He lowered his head and whispered, "It's nothing, I just feel like I can't do anything." ”
Hearing this, I chuckled in my heart. This is not something that an ordinary child would easily say. I tried to put it another way and asked, "Can you tell me what made you feel this way?" ”
Xiao Ming glanced up at me, then quickly lowered his head, and his voice became quieter: "It's that I participated in a competition, and I thought I could win the prize, but I lost." ”
I see. I whispered to him, "It's really disappointing to lose a game, but that doesn't mean you can't." Have you ever wondered why you care so much about the outcome of this competition? ”
Xiao Ming was silent for a while, and suddenly raised his head, with tears shining in his eyes: "Because I really worked hard to prepare, I thought that as long as I worked hard, I would definitely win." But ......”
His voice choked up, and I handed him a tissue. He wiped away his tears and continued: "But after losing, everyone said that I was just lucky to get into the finals, not by strength at all. I felt like I was a failure, as if I couldn't really do anything. ”
Hearing this, I already have some eyebrows in my heart. Xiao Ming's problem is not only as simple as losing the game, but more importantly, his denial of his own ability and excessive concern for the evaluation of others.
I gently patted him on the shoulder: "Xiao Ming, you know what? In fact, everyone has failures, failure is not terrible, the terrible thing is that we deny ourselves because of a failure. You work really hard, no one can deny that. The outcome of the race doesn't determine everything about you, it's just a small setback in your upbringing. You have to believe in yourself, in your abilities and in your potential. ”
Xiao Ming raised his head and looked at me, with a hint of hope in his eyes: "Really? ”
I nodded vigorously: "Of course it's true." You have to believe in yourself and believe that as long as you continue to work hard, there will always be a day when you will succeed. ”
In the following consultation, I worked with Xiao Ming to ** his self-awareness problem and gave him some specific suggestions and methods. He gradually began to accept his failures and regained his self-confidence.
If you meet a similar child, remember to give them some encouragement and support. Because sometimes, behind a child's negative words, there may be a deep collapse in their hearts. As adults, a little care and understanding from us may be the strength for them to get out of their predicament.