Original Tingyan Xiyu
Turgenev said
Believe in yourself first, and then others will believe in you. ”
A person's personality is closely related to the environment in which he grew up, whether you belong to E person (extroversion) or I person (introversion), in addition to the congenital family environment, there is also the acquired surrounding environment.
Just like the author, when I was a child, I should have been biased towards the E person type, with a boy's personality, very active in the trees and in the fields, and dared to fight with boys.
When you enter puberty, it's okay because of family reasons, and your personality slowly tends to be an I type. I don't want to get together to talk to people, I don't like to be noisy, but I like to be alone in a quiet environment.
And when it came time to devote myself to social work, I began to envy those e-person colleagues in the company, envy them for being articulate, socially extensive, and liked by everyone, hoping that I could be like them. I also try to get close to them and try to fit myself into this environment.
After starting a family and having children, they became derailed from society and began to slowly close off again. When the child grows up, he comes out to work in the society and begins to learn slowly.
In this way, this process of growth is constantly cyclical between extroversion and introversion.
I don't know if you've had this experience too, readers.
Entering middle age, the so-called forty is not confused, that is, suddenly there is a moment, you will understand that the things that you were obsessed with when you were young, all these things have become less important, and you are finally relieved.
What does it matter if you are an E person or an I person, and what do others think of you?
As Roy Martina said:
One of the biggest breakthroughs in my life was that I stopped worrying about what other people thought of me, and after that, I was really free to do what I thought was best for me, and only became free when we didn't need the approval of others. ”
But having said that, even if the author gives a speech on stage many times, he will still be very nervous, he will forget the words, and the performance will shake his legs and forget his movements.
In the past, I would blame myself for not being able to remember words all the time, and I was worried about the effect, etc., but now I don't think it's a big deal, it's just that it's just too nervous, in fact, everyone doesn't care so much about the result, it's that simple.
So, with this mentality, self-confidence comes back.
Children's self-confidence is often suppressed by adults and disappears.
Nowadays, society is competitive and stressful, and students are no exception. The pressure from going to school, the pressure from parents, and the pressure from academics have led to excessive psychological pressure on many teenagers, who do not know how to release and go into a desperate situation.
At this time, parents should give their children space, interfere less, and trust them to do it. The unconditional support and trust of parents behind them is the greatest motivation.
Sometimes, if you change your approach, the results will be completely different.
For example, when a child comes home from school, or when a parent comes home, the first thing they say to their child is "Have you finished your homework?" ”
Psychologically, children are already very tired from studying at school all day, and when they come back and see that the first thing their parents care about is homework, their mood must plummet.
Just like an adult, when you come home after a tiring day of work, you want to get the most sentence from your family: "Tired, right?" It's been a hard work, so let's take a break. ”
And don't want to hear "Is your job done?" ”
Or the wife is busy all day, and the first thing she hopes her husband will say when he comes back is "Wife, you have worked hard this day, and I will come to you if you have any other work!" ”
The last thing you want to hear is: "Why are you at home all day and your house is still so dirty" or "Why can't you eat yet?" ”
Therefore, what children like to hear most from their parents is "Baby, how was your day?" Or, "Baby, you're tired of studying, let's play first and then finish your homework!" ”
Many people care about whether you fly high or not, but few people care about whether you are tired of flying.
When the child comes home, it is better to have a big hug and then say "Mommy misses you so much", and the child will have a strong heart and self-confidence to cope with all the pressures he has to face.
There is no need to put too much pressure on the child before the exam, and this time I said the most was: "Mommy believes in you".
No matter how nervous you are, you can't show it in front of your children.
When he came back from vacation, when he said, "Mom, I did well in the exam", at this time, the reward of hard work came.
Baby, you're awesome! Mom is so happy for you. ”
That's the best encouragement and support.
Many people are short in front of action, but blame it on lack of self-confidence, which is actually an act of avoidance.
It is better to dream 10,000 times than to act once.
Life is a step out, and only by taking the first step can we adjust the direction.
You know, a lot of great achievements are made up of small actions.
A colleague faced with the adjustment of his position, he had expectations in his heart but felt that he was not bold enough and was incapable of doing the job and refused.
It's really comfortable to stay in your comfort zone, and you don't have to put in much effort to get to it once and for all.
However, if you don't dare to take on new opportunities, many opportunities will be missed, including opportunities to grow yourself.
The times are advancing, and if you don't keep up with the pace, you are likely to be eliminated.
Only by taking the first step can we discover our potential and make the impossible possible.
Therefore, you can only save yourself, you don't have to be entangled in the judgment of the outside world, you don't have to fall into the eyes of others, and you don't have to distort yourself in order to please the world.
In the new year, don't deny your current self, accept yourself, love yourself, move forward bravely, and meet a better self.
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