The words that we Chinese often hang in our mouths are "being people", growing from "biological people" to "cultural people" or "social people". In the words of the famous Song Dynasty physicist Zhu Xifuzi, people must first have a "human appearance". This "appearance" is "the festival of sprinkling, coping, advancing and retreating, loving relatives, respecting elders, honoring teachers, and relatives and friends". It can be seen that traditional Chinese family education or "primary school" education is a kind of education, practice and formation of lifestyles and behavioral habits. Culture is not only an ideological concept, a value system, and a knowledge system, but also rules and life itself.
Traditional tutoring begins with the acquisition of basic etiquette, because etiquette embodies the human order and is the norm and style of civilized social relations between people.
In traditional society, the Spring Festival is the most solemn festival of the year, and it is also the season when traditional etiquette is intensively presented. The Spring Festival is a long time, from the beginning of the year to the Lantern Festival of the following year. Throughout the Spring Festival, there is a grand, festive atmosphere that is different from the usual.
The small year in the south is the twenty-fourth day of the lunar month. This day corresponds to the prelude to the Spring Festival, with the worship of the god of the stove in the evening and a more sumptuous dinner. In my hometown of northern Jiangxi, there is a very strange saying that is commonly popular, called "playing cubs for the New Year". I remember when I was a child, my siblings and I didn't really get beaten on this day, but the adults in my family did not have a certain way of doing it. Usually in the middle of the morning, the eldest grandfather in the family will call our brothers and sisters to the hall to stand, drop the bamboo board or bamboo branch in his hand a few times on the table of the eight immortals, and say to us very seriously: From today onwards, it is the New Year, you can't be crazy anymore, you must be serious, cautious, understand the rules, and love cleanliness; If you want to say auspicious words, you can't say unlucky things (which probably belong to the rules of traditional etiquette such as language taboos); Worship the gods and ancestors should be respectful, not frolic; Be polite and ...... when you meet people and visit relatives to greet the New YearWhen I grew up, I realized that this should belong to the "court training" of the traditional family, which is an important course of family education before the New Year's Festival, and it is repeated every year. With such a court training opening, we children will really develop a sense of awe, from words to behavior.
From the 24th day of the lunar month, the family will be busy, and adults will buy New Year's goods and cook all kinds of food; We, the older children, have to clean the hall, room, front and back yard of the house every day, wipe down the furniture, tea sets, lamps, etc., tidy up the books and materials, and wait for the arrival of the new year with joy.
Chinese New Year's Eve is the most solemn ceremony of the Spring Festival. I think the theme word for Chinese New Year's Eve should be "reunion". The turn of Chinese New Year's Eve is the completion of the "round" of the year and the beginning of the "round" of the new year, so the family must also sit together in a "round" posture, eat reunion dinner, and welcome the new together. The whole family is reunited, and no one is missing. No matter how scattered we Chinese are, our home is always our own "center", and every Spring Festival, we have to travel thousands of miles to rush back, so there is such a special scene as the contemporary "Chinese Spring Festival".
The author once wrote an article entitled "The Cultural Depths of the Spring Festival Reunion". The author believes that it is this reunion that constantly strengthens the cultural identity of the "group" to which everyone belongs. an ancestral hall that brings together the fathers and children of a family name and a village; The deceased great-great-grandfathers, ancestors, and surviving grandparents and parents reunite the family. The blood ties maintain the unity of the clan, and then gradually open up and combine with the geography, and the township party, the country, and the world. The traditions of ancestor worship, prudence and patriotism, and love for the family and the country have been inherited and continued from generation to generation. Everyone who attends the ritual will gradually realize that they are not an isolated individual. He knew where he "came from." He has the concept of ancestors, the concept of family, the concept of ethics, the concept of order, and understands the direction and responsibility of his life. He will encourage himself and his children to do things that are in line with morality, to do things that are valuable, to glorify their ancestors, to benefit their neighbors, and to benefit society and the country.
Come to the New Year in the first month. When I was a child, I used to visit relatives to visit my relatives, and it was not like sending a WeChat message now. When I saw that the adults were going to perform the "namaste", it was strange that it was not a fist clasp, but it was probably related to the ritual of worshiping the Buddha. When you see an elder who is the same age or older than your grandfather, you should bow down and kowtow. The elders will usually help you up the moment you kneel on the ground and say a few words of blessing.
Visiting the New Year should be the best time to show the family style and children's literacy. After the New Year's salute, the host serves tea and sets snacks. Adults are homely and elated, children are the most boring, but you have to sit upright, not sit slumped or shake your legs, let alone interject. I usually run away with my peers and go outside to set off the scattered firecrackers that I have picked up.
The table manners of New Year's greetings are not specially set, but a consistent "life". After serving the table, sit upright and tighten your left arm slightly to make room for the person sitting on the same side; Wait for the instructions of the elders before picking up the dishes and chopsticks, and you can't be impatient; Eating without talking, the so-called "eating without speaking" is not only the need for food safety (to prevent choking), but also the need to "control spittle"; When eating, you should hold the bowl in your hand and eat with the bowl, not put the bowl on the table, and use your mouth to eat like an animal; When picking up vegetables, you can only put down the chopsticks on the side close to yourself, and you can't start from the middle of the bowl, especially if you don't turn the bowl around; When picking up vegetables, you should pay attention to the dynamics of other people, and do not cross or inadvertently insert them in the same bowl; The elders will use the other end of their chopsticks to pick up dishes for guests, and we will place a pair of chopsticks in the position of the accompanying sitter at home, which is specially used to serve the guests with food, which is slightly equivalent to the current "public chopsticks"; When the elders give you food, you have to hold the bowl with both hands to catch it, and say "thank you"; In ancient times, there was a saying that "adding food is adding color, wealth, and blessing", so if you feel that it is enough, you can't say "don't", "enough" and "more", but should say "have"; If you don't have enough food and need to add food, you can go to the kitchen by yourself, or say "add a little more" to an adult, but you can't say "I want food" or "I want food"; When eating, you can't make strange noises with your mouth, the dishes and chopsticks should be handled gently, and after eating, you should say "everyone use slowly" ......
Hey, it's a lot of work to say, but in fact, it's not difficult to get used to it. It's just that when you are a guest, you are not casual at home, in fact, there are still rules at home, and there is a fixed trend that is raised in your bones. Nowadays, many traditional rituals seem to have been lost, and the taste of the New Year seems to have faded, but the aftertaste of tradition is still as strong and mellow as old wine.
Author's Department. Ten.
1. Member of the 12th National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, professor of Jiangxi Normal University).
*: CPPCC Daily (2024-02-07 9th Edition).
Author: Wang Donglin Layout Editor: He Chunlan Xu Yanhong.
New**Editor: Wang Jing Review: Zhou Jiajia