The reason why it is difficult to get along in a second marriage

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-02-19

"Marriage is like a sailing ship, and remarriage is the re-setting sail after encountering storms. During this journey, we had to be more cautious about avoiding reefs and sailing steadily. ”

- Zhang Ailing

In the long river of life, marriage occupies a pivotal position. However, when marriage encounters an accident and remarriage becomes the choice of some people, the road to second marriage is often full of thorns. The idea that second marriage is difficult to get along with is widely spread in society, so what are the reasons?

First, it is difficult to let go of the old dreams

Men and women who remarry often carry their own emotional baggage from the past. Whether it is the failure of the previous marriage or the entanglement with the ex-spouse, it can become the first bomb in the new marriage. For example, Ms. Li is always unable to forget the goodness of her ex-husband after remarrying, and often unconsciously compares herself with her ex-husband, causing her current husband to feel pressure, and the relationship between the two is strained.

Second, children's problems become obstacles

In remarried families, the issue of children is often the biggest problem. On the one hand, the role of stepfather or stepmother is difficult to accept, especially when the child is older; On the other hand, how to deal with the relationship with the children of the ex-spouse is also a challenge that remarried couples need to face. For example, after Mr. Wang married his current wife, he found that the relationship between his wife and her ex-husband's children was tense, and he was caught in the middle, and he was in a dilemma.

Third, the lack of trust is difficult to rebuild

Remarried couples tend to become more cautious and wary of their new partner because of the failure of their previous marriage. This lack of trust makes it difficult for remarried couples to truly open up when they get along, resulting in poor communication and frequent conflicts. For example, when Mr. Zhao gets along with his remarried wife, he always suspects that the other party is not sincere enough, and this mentality makes the relationship between the two deadlocked.

Fourth, it is difficult to coordinate financial issues

Remarried couples often face many financial challenges. How to divide their assets, how to bear the family expenses, how to plan for the future, etc., are all practical problems that remarried couples need to face. Once it is not handled properly, it is easy to cause contradictions and conflicts. For example, Ms. Chen and her remarried husband had a disagreement over real estate, which eventually led to the breakdown of their relationship.

Fifth, social prejudice increases pressure

Prejudice and misunderstanding about remarriage in society also put a lot of pressure on remarried couples. Some people believe that remarriage is immoral, while others are prejudiced against the way remarried couples get along. These biases not only affect the psychological state of remarried couples, but can also lead to a lack of support and understanding in the face of difficulties. For example, when Mr. Zhou and his remarried wife were criticized by the outside world, they felt very distressed and helpless.

The road to remarriage is bumpy, but it doesn't mean that there is no possibility of happiness. As long as both sides are willing to make efforts, mutual understanding, trust and support, we can overcome all kinds of difficulties and create a better future together.

6. Differences between emotional engagement and expectations

Remarried people often enter a new marriage with their own emotional expectations. These expectations can be quite different from reality, leading to emotional dissatisfaction and loss. For example, after Mr. Zhang remarried, he found that his wife cared far less about him than his ex-wife, which made him feel very disappointed and frustrated.

7. Run-in of habits and personalities

Remarried couples may have great differences in living habits, personality traits, etc. If these differences cannot be properly tempered and handled, they can easily become the fuse of contradictions and conflicts. For example, Ms. Li's husband likes to be quiet, while she likes to be lively, and the difference in their living habits makes their married life full of challenges.

8. The influence of the family of origin

The education and background of the family of origin will also have an impact on how remarried couples get along. Different family cultures, values, and lifestyles can lead to friction and conflict in getting along with remarried couples. For example, Ms. Wang's husband comes from a traditional family, but she pays more attention to personal freedom and independence, and the differences in family concepts between the two make it difficult for them to reach a consensus.

In conclusion, there are many reasons why second marriage is difficult, including personal psychological and emotional factors, as well as the influence of social and family environment. However, as long as remarried couples are open about their emotional and psychological needs, actively seek solutions to problems, and respect and understand each other, it is possible for them to overcome these difficulties and build a happy and stable remarriage relationship. In this process, social tolerance and support are also an indispensable force, and we need to work together to create a more friendly and relaxed environment for those who remarry.

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