In Little Women, one of the "Little Women", Meg, faces the same dilemma as many of our new mothers today: what should I do when I am exhausted from taking care of my children, but my husband is unwilling to come home and give me some comfort?
Meg is the eldest daughter of the March family, the elder sister of three younger sisters, she married John Brooke, a kind-hearted governess, and after marriage, the two loved each other, respected each other, and supported each other, and were the envy of those around them.
What's even more enviable is that they ushered in the crystallization of their love - a pair of dragon and phoenix fetal daughters. Like many new mothers, Meg focused all her attention on her children and had no energy to care about her husband John.
John understood his wife very well at first, but half a year later, his wife still only cared about the children, ignored him, and even wished that he was not at home. John comes home from work, and his wife asks him not to speak loudly so as not to wake up the child; He wanted to invite his wife to the opera, but it was impossible, because his mother was not at ease with leaving such a young child in the care of others. In John's view, the home has become a nursery and he has become a "superfluous person", so John has to go to a friend's house to chat and kill time, and the friend's wife's simple but delicious dinner makes him even more reluctant to go home.
Faced with her husband who was more and more reluctant to go home, his wife Meg felt lonely and even more aggrieved, and once wondered if she was disliked by her husband because ...... old people
Meg's experience reminded me of the new mothers around me. Like Meg, they take care of their children wholeheartedly, and the husband not only does not see the hard work of his wife, but also complains that his wife does not care about him; My wife also feels aggrieved, if you don't take care of the children, forget it, and you want me to take care of you, what do you think?
Because of the children, because of the unclear division of responsibilities, because of poor communication with each other, because of the lack of inclusive ......The people who originally loved each other ended up arguing and even parting ways, which made people sigh! If they can deal with the problem like the Meg couple in **, maybe they won't end up regrettably, let's see how the "little woman" in ** is "skillful"!
At first, Meg also experienced a long period of pain, and kept thinking: I have a hard time taking care of the child, can't you see? Why don't you come home when I need you? You hate me for getting old......
Later, Mrs. March told her daughter that when you needed John, she complained that he was not there; But when John needed you, were you in **? Children are important, but husbands are not important? If you can give a little bit of the energy you put into your children to your husband, you won't be left alone! Don't say that you don't have enough energy, and it's not enough to take care of your child, but relax a little bit will not affect your child's growth! Besides, are you alone with the child? You're going to get John involved, so divide your energy with your husband......
After listening to her mother's words, Meg realized that she had neglected her husband first, making him feel that the gap between the front and back was too great. In the past, I only surrounded my husband's ** exquisite and delicious dinner, ironing and obedient clothes, clean and tidy myself, comfortable and comfortable home, and the two of them couldn't stop talking......But now, there is nothing, the house is in a mess, not even loud, what man wants to come back to such a home?
Meg realized her problem and decided to let it go. First, she handed over some of the childcare tasks to the nanny, and then began to clean up her grooming, and then cooked a dinner for her husband from time to time......
John saw the change in his wife and no longer hung out at his friend's house.
In the past, only Meg was in charge of the children, or she was not at ease with anyone else, especially her husband John. She always felt that men were rough and couldn't take care of two little babies; As for her husband, John, who wants to help but can't intervene, is worried that his wife will not be satisfied, so he can only stand by and watch.
Now, Meg feels the need to involve her husband, especially in the face of her own powerlessness against her son. The little guy is full of energy, knows too well how to pamper his mother, sings lullabies to him countless times, and he just doesn't sleep; said that he was not allowed to eat candy, but his mother couldn't stand his coquettishness and crying ......
Seeing this, John decided that he would no longer raise his son the way his wife did, and that he had to make him understand what the rules were and what a boy should do.
In the face of his son's cries, John will never give in, compromise, and never give in to what he cannot do. The son finally learned that his father was not as easy to talk as his mother, and that crying was only useful for his mother. Hearing her son's cry, Meg began to feel unusually uncomfortable, feeling that her husband was too strict with his son, but he resisted the urge to intervene. When she saw that her son was becoming more and more well-behaved and polite, she cast an extremely gentle and adoring look at her husband!
What man doesn't want to be adored by his wife? The wife lets go and allows the man to participate in the parenting of the child, which can not only cultivate the man's sense of responsibility, but also cultivate a harmonious parent-child relationship, so why not?
John was particularly interested in politics during the time he was snubbed by his wife, and Meg was very uncomfortable with it, as her husband would rather talk to his friends than come home.
Later, Meg thought that there was nothing wrong with knowing her husband's preferences! So I sincerely asked my husband to tell her what he was interested in, and asked what he didn't understand. The husband finds that his wife is happy to communicate with him, cares about his hobbies, and is very happy, so he is more willing to share his ideas with his wife, and the wife also knows and understands him more in her husband's enthusiasm, and the relationship between husband and wife is more harmonious.
When Meg was busy with needlework, she would ask her husband to read to her, and the two would discuss the plot and characters in the book together; Occasionally, they would leave their children with a nanny or family member, go to an opera or walk arm in arm, and live a life of two.
In order to give back to his wife, John will bring back some romantic gifts to his lover from time to time, and take the initiative to pay attention to and respond to every change and needs of his wife. No, it is in a better state than at the beginning, because they have withstood the test of life and understand the truth ...... that "it is easy to love each other, but it is not easy to stay together".
Some people may say, why should a woman take care of her children while considering her husband's emotions? The child is not mine alone, I take care of the child, he is not considerate of me, forget it, and ask me to be considerate of him, it is not fair ......
Indeed, it seems unfair, but home, is it a place to talk about fairness? Home is about love! If you love your home, hope to grow old with your lover, and hope that your children will grow up healthily under the bath of parental love, you have to learn to make trade-offs, and you have to know how to give, instead of worrying about who pays more and who pays less; On the contrary, you don't have anything to give, so why ask others to give you what you want first? Men, who are really teenagers to death, need to be looked up to and trained by their lovers ......
Therefore, managing a family and managing the relationship between husband and wife requires ability and wisdom. Meg in "Little Women", this kind of ability and wisdom that she has mastered in the trials of life may be just what you need. May you be like the hero, meet your lover, come to a two-way run, and manage your love and family!