Asking people to do things and harmonious relationships are inseparable from dinners.
In the midst of eating and drinking, everyone talked about it, and things were easy to do.
You can also use the dinner to make friends with friends and toast a glass of wine, even if you have a one-sided relationship.
Adults, even if you like to be alone, you can't leave the meal 100%.
Therefore, it is necessary to study the unspoken rules of the dinner in depth, and actively pursue the advantages and avoid the disadvantages.
First, invite the down-and-out to eat and burn incense in the cold temple.
In "Water Margin", when Li Kui saw Song Jiang, he borrowed a few taels of silver and went to the gambling game.
Li Kui lost the money, Song Jiang didn't complain, paid the gambling debt, and then invited Li Kui to dinner.
A meal made Li Kui feel the "warmth of a brother", and since then he has followed Song Jiang with all his heart.
When he arrived in Liangshan, Li Kui supported Song Jiang to be the number one leader, and also showed the axe, if anyone disagreed, he had to ask the axe.
After the heroes of Liangshan were recruited, many people complained about Song Jiang, but Li Kui was still loyal.
Song Jiang received the poisoned wine sent by Gao Yu, and also gave a glass to Li Kui. Therefore, they can be regarded as friends of life and death.
The impact of the dinner on the "people's hearts" is far-reaching.
In life, the most memorable rice is a bowl of rice when you are down. Song Jiang seized this point and set up a small dinner party when Li Kui was not improving and was still very poor.
In any era, there are down-and-out people, as long as you are willing to give it, you will have "the grace of a meal".
I have read a small story: In a city in the north, a beggar living on the street was loved by the owner of a restaurant and provided a bowl of free noodles every day.
Winter is coming, and it snows all night. The beggar got up early and swept away the snow in front of the shop.
Even beggars can be grateful, and they can give back to others, let alone upright people?
The relationship between people that can best reflect the relationship is "the dinner when you are down".
For example, when a friend is in trouble, you set up a dinner party for everyone who might be able to help the friend to eat. It won't be long before the friend will be out of the way. This feeling is also a solid stay.
Don't wait for your friends to rise up, then say things like "afterthought" and then set up a dinner party like a celebration. It's too hypocritical to do this, and people won't appreciate it.
As the saying goes, "Help people with difficulties, and look at people to see the benefits." "The people in distress don't help, and you still invite the local tyrant to dinner, which is obviously putting the cart before the horse.
Second, the person who asks you for food may be pretending to be poor.
On the street and halfway through, we will meet people who drive luxury cars but reach out to you for food and gas; In crowded places, someone tells you that you "lost your wallet and phone" and wants you to help.
Don't be in a hurry to pity anyone, think about it, is the other party really poor? Or are you really sleepy? Most of them are pretending to be poor and making them pay for themselves.
In these years, if something is lost, you can ask the police to help find it, you can borrow **, contact your family, how can you reach out and ask for money everywhere?
Some professional beggars, richer than you. Don't pay attention to it, don't be deceived.
In ancient times, it was much more difficult to identify people who pretended to be poor than it is now, after all, information was not developed. Therefore, many people pretend to be poor, which confuses people and ultimately hurts their relationships.
During the reign of Wu Zetian, the Khitan army attacked the frontier, and there were signs of a long drive.
The general Ma Renjie brought more than 100,000 people and set off towards the frontier.
When the Khitan army heard about the situation of the Ma Ren Festival, they let some of the prisoners go, and said: "We have no food, and we can't even afford to raise the prisoners." Go back and fetch your own food. ”
Ma Renjie met the Khitan captives one after another, and knew that the Khitan army had nothing to eat, so he was careless, thinking that he could easily win the battle.
Surprisingly, the Khitan army set up an ambush halfway through, the Tang army was defeated, and Ma Renjie was also captured.
In contrast, Zeng Guofan of the Qing Dynasty was much smarter.
When he was training the Hunan army, a fellow countryman came to defect. He invited the fellow to dinner, and then refused to help the fellow.
Because when the villagers eat, when they pick out the grains, they are obviously not poor, but people from large families who can't bear hardship.
In the future, when you meet certain people, you should be vigilant when you open your mouth and say, "Please give me a meal". Most of these people are deceiving you, or they are deliberately trying to win over the relationship.
Today you invite people to eat, tomorrow they invite you to eat, and they get acquainted with each other, but you don't know what will happen later; Today you sympathize with people with bad intentions, tomorrow your compassion is exploited.
It is necessary to treat others moderately indifferently, take a slow, and see clearly whether the other party is really poor or pretending to be poor.
Third, the person who carefully designs the dinner always has other plans.
During the Ming Dynasty, Wang Yangming accepted the task of suppressing bandits, he did not directly with the bandits, but during the New Year, he invited the bandits to dinner, and said that he had surrendered.
Just when the bandit leader was unfortified, he laid out a net, and the bandit leader caught it all.
As recorded in the history books: "The thief is overjoyed, and he is at peace; The armor warriors were at the door, and the thieves entered, and they were captured and killed. ”
Di Qing, the general of the Song Dynasty, when he went to eliminate the rebel Nong Zhigao, ate and drank with the soldiers for three consecutive days, and told everyone: "Three days off." ”
After Nong Zhigao knew Di Qing's arrangement, he relaxed his vigilance.
On the third day, Di Qing said, "I have a stomach trouble, I want to rest for a while", and then led the troops overnight to occupy Kunlun Pass, and Nong Zhigao was taken aback.
In the process of eating and drinking, you can also plan a situation - take one step, see ten steps.
Many times, when we go to participate in dinners, we are often "incoming" or "obsessed with the authorities".
For example, if a friend invites you to dinner, and only in the middle of the meal does he say, "Someone else has asked you for help", which is really difficult to ride.
The more carefully equipped the meal, the more likely it is to hide dirt and dirt, and people dare not be sloppy at all. You should see through it and then think about whether you want to participate or not.
No matter how good the relationship with people is, "dinner" is not only about eating, but also about planning.
Facts tell us that if a person sees through the dinner, he will not organize and participate in the dinner at will.
Selectively participate in dinners, and have fewer "profit-making and emotionally kidnapping" dinners, in order to promote socialization. At the meal, you must master the basic etiquette and don't lose your temper.
In addition, the people at the dinner do not ask for much, and the large-scale party is just to join in the fun, and even one side of the relationship cannot be retained.
Nothing happened, just went home for dinner, although not polite enough, but relaxed.