As the old saying goes, "Nosy, no."
No matter who we associate with, we should avoid interfering in the gossip of others.
Everyone has their own life trajectory and choices, and excessive interference in other people's affairs is often easy to get into trouble.
So, no matter who you get along with, don't worry about these three things.
01 Others' Privacy.
Blogger @小coconut told such a thing.
In her previous company, she had a colleague named Xiaolan, who was a bit gossipy and always liked to inquire about other people's privacy.
There is a female colleague who is a single mother, and as long as Xiaolan sees someone talking to the opposite sex, she will ask if the other party has a new partner, completely ignoring the increasingly ugly face of the female colleague.
Another colleague was particularly valued by the leader, so she asked around and asked if there was anything to do with it, which once embarrassed the big guy.
Another time, my colleague Xiao Li took three days off for personal matters, so he specially apologized to the big guy, worried that it would increase the burden on the same group of employees.
The big guys all reassured Xiao Li.
Only Xiaolan kept asking, why did she take such a long leave at one time?
Xiao Li said perfunctorily, there is something at home.
But Xiaolan still didn't give up, and when she saw that Xiao Li didn't speak, she asked her colleagues what was wrong.
Colleagues said don't ask, she still doesn't give up.
There is a city in everyone's heart, and there are some secrets in it that they don't want others to know.
These secrets are the most sensitive corners of their hearts, and they are also the softest pains.
As Mark Twain said, "Everyone is the moon, and there is always a dark side that is never seen." ”
No matter how close your relationship is, you shouldn't venture into this forbidden place and go to the privacy that the other person doesn't want to mention.
Because no one wants their secrets to be revealed.
02 Disputes of others.
Everyone has their own path to follow, and everyone has their own trajectory in life.
It's hard for different people to walk hand in hand on the same path.
If you're always trying to meddle in someone else's affairs, it's likely to strain your relationship.
Writer Zhou Guoping once said: "Don't try to change others, everyone has his own character and habits." ”
Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li are good friends, and they work in the same company.
One day, Xiao Zhang and his colleague had an argument over work, and Xiao Li watched the whole process from the sidelines.
Xiao Li felt that Xiao Zhang was a little too aggressive in dealing with the problem, and wanted to persuade him to calm down.
However, when Xiao Li tries to intervene in their dispute, Xiao Zhang appears very unhappy, believing that Xiao Li should not interfere in his affairs.
Xiao Li reflected on his actions.
He realizes that everyone has their own way of dealing with problems, and as a friend, he should respect Xiao Zhang's choice instead of forcibly interfering.
Sometimes, we may have good intentions to help someone solve a problem, but we also need to take into account the other person's feelings and needs.
Emerson said, "Respect the individuality of others and don't try to change them." ”
In the process of getting along with others, we should learn to keep an appropriate distance and respect the choices and decisions of others.
We can give care and support when they are struggling, but don't interfere too much.
Everyone has their own path in life, and we can't go through the whole process for others.
All we can do is respect the choices of others and not meddle in other people's affairs.
03 Other people's feelings.
A colleague said that he once encountered a very embarrassing incident.
For a while, one of his good friends had a relationship problem with her boyfriend and often talked to her.
After hearing this, Zhang Jin gave her friend some advice and persuaded her to break up with her boyfriend.
Unexpectedly, it didn't take long for the two to reconcile.
What made his colleague even more embarrassed was that his friend also told his boyfriend the advice he gave, which made Zhang Jin feel very speechless.
Indeed, it is really very irrational to meddle in other people's love lives, you persuade them 10 times, and they get back together 11 times, making you not a human being inside and out.
Later I simply remained silent.
In life, not interfering in the emotional life of others is a basic cultivation.
Because everyone's feelings are unique, it is difficult to measure and judge them by simple standards.
Turgenev said: "He who does not tolerate others does not deserve to be tolerated by others." ”
We should respect our friends' choices and give them enough space and time to deal with their own emotional problems.
Not only will you not be able to solve their distress, but you may also put yourself in an awkward situation and even affect your relationship with your friends.
When we get along with people, we should learn to maintain an appropriate sense of distance.
Sometimes, listening is more important than advice, and letting go is wiser than interfering.
Don't think of yourself as an all-powerful savior trying to solve everyone's emotional problems.
Don't interfere in the emotional life of others, respect the choices of others, give them enough space and time, and also protect yourself from unnecessary troubles and troubles.
For the rest of your life, take care of your mouth and be cautious in your words and deeds.
Master a good sense of proportion, even if the relationship is familiar, it will not cross the line.
Everyone has their own destiny, and everyone has their own cause and effect.
In your own world, live your own life.