I have a house and a pension, and my son-in-law took me to retire, and I left as soon as I understood the truth.
The elderly are often faced with the dilemma of choosing which way to care for the elderly.
It is generally believed that having good physical condition, sufficient pension and children to take care of by your side is the happiest state in old age.
However, sometimes living in a child's house is not satisfactory, and you may even feel sad and sad because of certain things.
Take 67-year-old Aunt Li as an example, she has a deposit of 600,000 yuan, a monthly pension of 5,000 yuan, and a house of her own.
What's more, her son-in-law expressed his willingness to take her to his home for the elderly, and promised to take care of her old age.
Of course, Aunt Li was happy, but after living for half a year, her son-in-law suddenly made three requests, which caught Aunt Li off guard.
After understanding her son-in-law's true purpose, Aunt Li immediately felt sad and decided to leave.
Hello, I'm Aunt Li, and I'm already over the age of sixties. I used to be a rural teacher and worked hard for more than 30 years, and now I have been retired for many years.
My husband is a business owner who specializes in building materials in our small town, and although the business is not large, it can be regarded as a savings from decades of frugality.
Our life is quite stable, we don't have to worry about food or clothing, and we can enjoy a well-off life relatively early.
However, to our regret, we only have one daughter due to my work, which makes our family seem a little deserted.
At that time, my generation was still more traditional in thinking, and we were often worried that when we got old, our daughter would also get married, and we would have no one to take care of us.
However, we always encourage each other, and my husband said that if you earn more money, you won't be so anxious when you're old. I also consoled myself by saying that I had a pension and at least enough to make ends meet.
For our only daughter, we naturally love her and give her the best care and love.
My daughter has lived a good life since she was a child, excelled in her studies, won many awards, was admitted to a good university in the college entrance examination, and now has become a teacher, similar to my career back then.
However, after middle age, we as a couple encountered some difficulties.
First of all, my health problems, my legs often suffer from rheumatism, especially on rainy days, and my lumbar spine is not very good, and I often need massage and long-term medication.
Although my illness is chronic and the pain is unbearable, as long as I take care of protection, it will not affect my life too much.
What saddened me the most was that my husband had a liver problem, which led to liver disease due to staying up late for a long time, unhealthy eating habits, and smoking and drinking.
By the time he found out that his liver was unwell, the situation was quite serious, and the doctor told us that his condition was not optimistic, and it was expected to be only about three years.
In the past few years, my husband's business has also come to a complete halt, and in the days after I retired, I accompanied him to major hospitals every day for check-ups, and had to undergo chemotherapy, hoping to prolong his life a little.
However, all was in vain, and his condition still did not improve.
In our final moments, my husband and I both accepted reality and began to enjoy the rest of our days.
My husband was disappointed because he felt that our daughter and son-in-law had barely cared for him in all these years.
We went to the hospital countless times, but my daughter and son-in-law never came back and never cared about our situation again, except for the first time to visit us.
So my husband said to me, "Honey, maybe after I'm gone, you'll have to live on your own." ”
I nodded, silently accepting his words.
He gave me a few pieces of advice that I hope I will keep in mind.
He said: "First, the deposits after I leave are all for you, and you must keep them properly and don't tell anyone. ”
Second, no matter what happens, don't sell our house. ”
Third, in the future, your daughter and son-in-law will ask you to borrow money, unless it is for medical treatment or grandchildren's education, and they will refuse in other cases. ”
After saying this, he left this world shortly after, and I was the only one left in the family.
I was 58 years old at the time, which was relatively young, and although I felt lonely, I was able to cope on my own.
My son-in-law and daughter would occasionally come to visit me and sometimes borrow money, but I always remembered my husband's instructions that I did not lend a penny except for medical treatment and children's education.
After I was rejected several times, my son-in-law was obviously a little dissatisfied and never came again.
Now I am 67 years old and have been living alone for 9 years.
During these 9 years, I often felt lonely and helpless, and I used to be able to dance and walk with other people, but now my rheumatism has worsened and I can't stand for long periods of time.
However, in January of this year, my son-in-law suddenly asked me to go to his house to care for the elderly.
This surprised me because I knew he didn't particularly care about me.
I didn't originally plan to go because I didn't want to disturb their lives, but they invited me many times, and eventually I packed my bags and went.
I have been in my son-in-law's house for half a year, and I am doing well. My daughter and son-in-law are also filial to me.
I don't eat and drink for nothing, I will help with some housework, and I will give my son-in-law some living expenses every month.
In the past six months, I have lived very warmly at my son-in-law's house and felt the warmth of home.
I thought that maybe it was because my son-in-law was young and not sensible enough, so he didn't care enough about me; And now that he has matured and understood how to repay his kindness, he has begun to be kind to me, which makes me feel very gratified.
But happy moods are often easy to get carried away. Once chatting with her daughter, she complained about the bad work and worried about the difficulties of her future life.
I tried to comfort her: "It's okay, if it's really difficult, with me, I still have 600,000 yuan in my hand." ”
But as soon as I said this, I immediately regretted it.
Because one day half a year after I moved into my son-in-law's house, my son-in-law said to me earnestly, "Mom, how are you living here?" ”
I replied, "It's okay, it's very comfortable, it's much better than living alone." ”
The son-in-law said frankly: "Actually, I was under a lot of pressure to let you come and live." As you know, I didn't even pick up my own parents, but I took my mother-in-law. My parents were often talked about because of this. ”
I smiled bitterly: "Yes, but you can tell others that your father-in-law and mother-in-law paid for you to buy this house, and your mother-in-law also gave you 2,000 yuan every month, so wouldn't it be clear?" ”
The son-in-law sighed: "I tried, but the effect was not good, and others still talked about it." ”
I asked, "Is there any good way to do that?" ”
The son-in-law put forward three conditions: "First, sell the house in my hometown, give me the money, and we will buy a big house again." In this way, I can say that my mother-in-law has sold the house and can't go back, so she bought me a big house with the money. ”
Second, give me your deposit for safekeeping, just safekeeping, and I will return it to you when necessary. In this way, I can explain to the outside world. ”
Thirdly, give me your salary card, and put the monthly pension with me for the use of the family, and I will leave you five hundred. In this way, you will give us 5,000 yuan a month, and others will have nothing to say. ”
These three conditions may seem reasonable, but I'm not a brainless person. I remembered that my wife had reminded me that I should not sell my house lightly and that I should not give my savings to others.
After some thought, I rejected my son-in-law's proposal directly.
When my son-in-law saw my refusal, he immediately became impatient: "Mom, if you don't do this, it will make it difficult for me to be a human being." Others will say that I have a daughter-in-law and forget my mother. ”
He took a step back and said, "Then so be it, it's safer for you to keep your pension, sell the house, and give me the deposit, so it's okay, right?" ”
I still shook my head and didn't answer him.
After a few refusals, the son-in-law became impatient, and without saying anything more, he went straight back to the room.
I thought about it for a long time that night, and finally understood a truth: my son-in-law didn't really want to take care of me, but wanted my house and savings.
I was a little sad at first, but I was relieved soon.
The next day, I packed my things and went back to my home. Before leaving, I also gave my son-in-law 30,000 yuan, which was the cost of my stay at his house for 5 months. Now that I'm back at home, I don't feel lonely, but feel grounded.
After thinking about all this, I understood my wife's original advice: when people are old, they must have their own place to live and have a pension, so that they can really feel at ease.