The ancients said: "If you go and don't come, it's rude; It is also rude to come and not to communicate". China is a country of etiquette, and since ancient times, it has advocated "courtesy and exchange". Giving a gift is a common thing, especially when it comes to relation. Getting married, having children, getting promoted, getting a raise, housewarming, birthdays, ......But mortals are sophisticated, and they can't escape the word "etiquette". And those with high emotional intelligence often start with "courtesy". Relatives are courteous, and these three rules must be kept! 
Gifts are still exchanged, and suffering is a blessingThe essence of Sui Li is an emotional communication, representing your attitude towards life. It is not a simple exchange of money and gifts, but a way to deepen the relationship, and it is also a manifestation of intimacy. Many people, when they give gifts, will use a notebook to remember them, and the gifts they receive will also be remembered. If you give more, you will obviously suffer. A friend's house was running a drink, and a relative came to her house for a banquet and paid 500 yuan. A relative asked him: "When your family drinks wine, they give you a gift of 1,000, why do you give a gift of 500?" He even said: "She dragged her family to my house for a banquet, sat on three seats, and wrote a thousand on average, and the average person was only more than 300." I came to her house alone for a banquet and wrote five hundred, is it less? Since then, my friend has gradually distanced himself from that relative! The value of gifts and gifts between relatives far exceeds the value of money and gifts. If you pay too much attention to reciprocity or fancy returns, you will inevitably "ask for your own hardship". The gift loses its meaning. Between relatives, when saluting, be less considerate and more considerate. Remember: small gifts as you like, don't be serious, big gifts to help others, don't be afraid of losses. 
Do what you can, and be courteous and affectionateRelatives with gifts, many people pay attention to "equivalent exchange", between you and me, you have to be "flat" to feel face, not to lose share. For example, if the other party wrote a gift of 200 in the first two years, then this year's return gift will definitely be 300, so that there is no "advantage". But if there is no clear price for the gift, it will be very difficult. People with average family conditions can give gifts in many cases, most of which are "self-produced and sold" local specialties: tea, honey, dried bamboo shoots, local chicken, duck bacon, etc. And those who have better economic conditions at home, most of the gifts they give are expensive cigarettes and alcohol, fashionable electronic products, etc. In contrast, in the eyes of some people, they feel ashamed of themselves, their gifts are worthless, and other people's gifts are very expensive. Either repeatedly excuse themselves and refuse to accept them, or give several times the return gift, so that the person who gave the gift is in a dilemma. In fact, the reason why relatives are relatives is that they can help each other, and not worry too much about who does more and who plays a big role. Just like elephants and ants, each has its own strengths, and there is no distinction between who is better and who is worse. As long as relatives can work together to tide over difficulties at critical moments, it means that this family affection is still there. As the saying goes: "Etiquette is light and affection is heavy!" "The gift is not about the amount of money, but about whether there is a heart! Therefore, if the relationship between relatives has always been very close, don't be too polite, do what you can, whether it is to give gifts or accept gifts, they are happy and relieved. 
For relatives who do not have good intentions, refuse to give giftsRelatives with a good relationship, they sincerely hope that you are doing well, they will give timely help when you encounter difficulties, and they will also respect your choices and decisions. When you get along with such a loved one, you will feel very secure, and when there is a happy event in the family, you will also congratulate you as soon as possible. Your efforts are worth it, and if you are sincere with each other, the affection will become deeper and deeper. However, in the face of those relatives who do not have good intentions, there is no need to deliberately cater to them, and you must put away your generosity. No matter how warmly they invite you to the feast, firmly decline. Uncle Li is 62 years old, and many relatives think that he has a pension every month, and his son is so good at making money, he must have a lot of savings. Therefore, no matter who has a happy event, they will call Uncle Li. And Uncle Li is a very generous elder, and he will give a lot of gifts every time. Although everyone was polite to him on the surface, they didn't really respect him in their hearts. Uncle Li was very good to all his relatives and friends, but when he was sick and needed to be taken care of, none of his relatives went to the hospital to visit. Since then, Uncle Li has seen clearly, he put away his generosity, and he will not go to the children of his relatives, the full moon of his grandson, etc. The emotions between people are mutual, you care about me, I care about you. If a person doesn't have good intentions towards you, then you don't have to cater anymore, and no matter how much you give, you can't win real respect and care. 
There was a question on Zhihu: "Which detail will make you can't help but admire a person's emotional intelligence?" A high praise replied: "I am not afraid of courtesy, but I will be courteous." "Yes, how many friendships are lost in the gifts; And how much friendship is made by courtesy. With the gift, that is, with the joy, everyone is happy to celebrate the festival and celebrate the good things happening. Etiquette means that you must be polite at any time, and you can't chill everyone's heart because you are unreasonable. Relatives are courteous, you must remember the above three points, and the relationship will get better and better!