When I visited relatives a year later, I found an "interesting" phenomenon:
Whether it is a relative of my mother-in-law's family or a relative of my mother's family, I have ten sentences with me, and eight of them are inseparable from the topic of "having a second child".
The key is to persuade me that I must have a son, and even a few relatives told me with a firm face that they have some so-called "home remedies" that can make me suffer less and ensure that the second child will definitely give birth to a boy.
Why are you so obsessed with a boy?
The reason is nothing more than that the daughter may be intimate, but many things are not as good as the son: when the daughter is raised and married, she is a member of another family, and she will also give birth to other people's families in the future; When encountering things, girls are not as strong as boys in resisting pressure, they can't bear things, they can only cry, and many big things in the family can only be done by boys; Girls tend to be more affectionate and emotional than boys, and they are not as rational and enterprising as boys, and they can't keep their parents' money, etc.
In short: the son may not be able to count on it, but there must be one in the family, otherwise, the life of parents will be in vain.
After talking about the pros and cons of sons and daughters, the relatives on both sides told me "kindly": There are almost no men who don't want sons, even if they say nicely, "I like daughters, daughters are intimate, and they are little padded jackets", but they still hope to have a son in their hearts; Moreover, no matter how open and dissatisfied young people are with the shackles of traditional concepts, they cannot change the thinking of the older generation that "children and grandchildren are the roots".
As the saying goes, a mother is more expensive than a child! A daughter-in-law who can give birth to a grandson to her in-law's family can often get the attention and kindness of her in-law's family, and only then can she have more status and dignity in her in-law's family! So, while you're still young and in good health, you have to hurry up and have another child, after all, it's a blessing to have both children! It's really that when you get older, you want a son again, but you can't give birth to it, won't that affect the relationship between the two of you? To tell the truth, if the two of you can make money and the conditions are good, are you willing to watch everything you have worked hard to get a cheap son-in-law in the end? There must be a son who guards the house and inherits the incense! ”
The reason why I find this "interesting" is why some women are far more "patriarchal" than men.
Most of my relatives were women, including grandmothers, aunts, and cousins who were not much older than me.
To be honest, like grandmothers, they value boys, and I can understand it, after all, they came from that era, and what they accepted and experienced was the concept of "male superiority and inferiority of women", and even because they gave birth to a son, they were treated well and looked down upon by their in-laws, so it was difficult to change for a while, or they would not change their concepts at all because of the persuasion of others.
But cousins and cousins, the things they accept and learn are far more novel than those of the older generation, and they have seen more than the older generation, but they still think that "daughters are not as good as sons", "only when they have sons will they be more peaceful in their hearts, and they will have a good relationship with their husbands", which is really sad.
is obviously a woman, but she also feels that her daughter is not as good as her son, and her expectation that she can live a stable life and even manage her marriage well is too one-sided and narrow-minded.
Maybe you will say that it is because you are a woman that you will know how many grievances and unfair things women will encounter from the family to the society, so you don't want your daughter to have the same experience, so you don't want to give birth to a daughter to suffer in the world, so you feel that having a son is more convenient.
In the final analysis, this kind of thinking is still selfish, only thinking about oneself, not treating the child as an independent individual, and not thinking about respecting the child in the past.
Raising a boy is nothing to worry about, isn't there? Do boys have to be better than girls in everything?
As a parent, if you really love your child and really do it for the good of your child, you are not afraid of what difficulties your child will encounter and what kind of life she will live, but teach her with heart and teach her the ability to stand on society, so that she knows independence and tenacity, and knows how to take responsibility and responsibility.
In fact, I have always had an attitude towards children: everyone has their own ideas and lives, as long as they really like children and raise them well when they are born, then when to have children and how many children they have, just discuss it with the younger couple; As for the gender of the child, as long as the upbringing is proper, then the daughter is as good as the son, and there is no need to compare the boy and the girl because of the preferences and concepts of the adult, or to "treat the child differently".
What's wrong with the child?
Why should she be said to be "good" or bad because of her parents' thoughts and concepts?
Many women, when they were young, complained or couldn't get used to their parents' "preference for sons", and after getting married, they resented that their in-laws only valued boys, but when they became parents, they also became the kind of people who "treated their children differently".
The most terrible and saddest thing about a woman is not that she failed to enjoy life in a good time, forgot to pay attention to and improve herself, and put all her energy and thoughts on giving birth to and raising children, but: walking and walking, but in the end she lived the person she once disdained and didn't want to be.