Objectively speaking, I am the one who mixes very poorly, now I am 38 years old, and I am a second-level chief clerk in the Chengdu municipal department, and I have no accumulation at home, so I can only rely on my Weibo income to take care of my parents, wife and children.
Why did it mix so poorly, combined with my own situation, I found several reasons, and I should be a brick and jade here.
1. I don't want to communicate, especially I don't want to ask for help.
Every time I meet someone asking me to do something, I am very proactive, I like to be a good person, and I don't often refuse others. But I'm too embarrassed to ask others for help, so I can't open my mouth.
For example, the last time I changed houses, I needed money turnover, and I was always embarrassed to borrow from a friend, and I always felt a little embarrassed, afraid of hurting each other's feelings. However, when my friends or comrades-in-arms ask me to borrow money, I always can't wipe it off, so I usually borrow it. And there is a comrade-in-arms who borrowed 30,000 yuan, but it has been seven or eight years, and he has not repaid it, and he can only comfort himself that he has lost his rights.
I am still a little shy, unwilling to take the initiative to communicate with others, take the initiative to get to know others, and have always been a little passive.
In fact, in social interactions, everyone is inevitably needed by each other, and I also understand that sometimes it is quite happy to be troubled by others. But I'm always reluctant to take the initiative, maybe I'm still a little introverted and shy and don't dare to break through.
Including in my own career progress, I always think that the leader will think of me, and never express my demands, but the result is that I have been delayed, and now I have become like this, the future is bleak, and I basically have nothing to think about.
2. Don't drink alcohol and don't like to socialize.
Born unable to drink, allergic to alcohol. At the beginning, my comrades-in-arms called me a few times, and then people felt that I couldn't drink, and slowly I automatically got out of the circle.
When I first went to be a platoon commander, the instructor was super fond of drinking, but I didn't like to drink, and I drank every time, and I felt that the instructor had very opinions about me, and of course the development in the army was not good, because there was no chance.
Now that I've changed jobs, although sometimes it's inevitable to socialize, I really don't dare to drink. Because I have a bad stomach, I can push those who can be promoted, besides, I have always felt very bored at the wine table, everyone is hypocritical, and it really makes me unhappy to watch.
3. Too rational and always cautious.
From childhood to adulthood, maybe because I have nothing, from poverty, I feel that every step can not be wrong, in this environment, I have developed a character of being afraid of wolves and tigers, and everything must be considered clearly, too rational.
Always cautious and conscientious in everything in work and life, and dare not make any mistakes, lest you cause trouble to others and yourself.
This mentality causes you to be unable to let go, unwilling to take risks, and always protecting yourself with turtle shells, so it is inevitable that you will miss many opportunities.
For example, in 11 years, when we bought a house, it would be very cheap, only 6,000 yuan per square meter, and many comrades-in-arms suggested that I buy a bigger one, which was tens of thousands of yuan more, but I didn't have the courage to buy a set of two. But last year I had to change the house, and it has risen to 260,000, I found that if I bought a bigger one at that time, I can change it to a better one now.
4. Always think about others and think too much.
In the world, I feel that I take too much care of other people's feelings, which makes me very tired, and as a result, people have not understood their own intentions, and sometimes they cause misunderstandings, and the result is thankless.
For example, I didn't like my wife at first, but I always felt afraid of making people sad, and I didn't know how to start from the heart, and in the end the marriage was unhappy, not only hurting her, but also hurting my children.
It is the characteristics of these aspects that have created the current self, but I think that a person's life is very short, and it is not easy to look at how you look at it and try to adapt to it.