Don't lose as soon as you speak, for a simple reasonBecause opening is really important
A few days ago, I saw an article that said that it only takes about 17 milliseconds for humans to judge whether they are interested in a thing or a person. What kind of time concept is 17 milliseconds? How short is it? In ordinary life, our breathing is about one second, that is, 1000 milliseconds, so if you convert it, you can know how short 17 milliseconds is. You've probably been passed in 17 milliseconds, so how do you avoid it happening again? How to make the other party interested and able to talk as soon as you open your mouth?
For example: Ma Yun's eloquence is recognized as good, and some people say that as long as Mr. Ma speaks, it is at the performance level. To be honest, among Chinese entrepreneurs, it is rare to have a performance level as soon as they open their mouths, and Mr. Ma can be called a category of Dugu seeking defeat. Indeed, his excellent linguistic skills seem to be everywhere.
On one occasion, when Jack Ma went to the 21st Congregation of the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, he wore a particularly loose red honorary doctorate gown, and he went to the stage to accept the honorary doctorate title of doctor of business administration. After the award ceremony, the host asked Jack Ma to give a speech.
As soon as he opened, Jack Ma said: "I never thought that I would be able to wear this beautiful doctor's gown in my life like I do today, but it is clear that the size of this doctor's gown is not designed for my figure." ”
The humor in the opening filled the audience with laughter. Indeed, the loose doctor's robe on the slender Ma Yun is obviously not decent and coordinated. It's better to let others complainSelf-deprecation。When Ma Yun expressed the unexpected joy of winning the title of doctor, in addition to directly saying that he didn't expect it, he ridiculed that the doctor's robe did not fit, saying that it was not designed for him, and this skill was generatedHumorous effect, effectively enlivened the atmosphere of the scene, and this language style also has Ma Yun's personality.
Someone jokes that if you don't listen to a speech by Jack Ma for three days, you're out. Because Jack Ma's most prominent competitive advantage is eloquence, this is a bit of a neglect of people's business talent.
In fact, many entrepreneurs around the world are no worse than Jack Ma. However, if you can't come up with it, even a model-level speech may be reduced to a foil in this field. The good thing is that they are all improving, provingSpeaking skills can be learned
As a result, we can see that many bigwigs carefully design some details when they speak. For example, Zuckerberg of Facebook, once he went to Harvard to attend Harvard's commencement ceremony, and his opening remarks were like this: "I'm honored to be here today because, to be honest, you've accomplished something that I would never have been able to do." When I'm done with this talk, it's going to be the first time I've done this at Harvard. ”
Zuckerberg was a computer and psychology dropout at Harvard, and the graduation ceremony was a grand ceremony for him that he didn't have the opportunity to attend. And his confession at this moment will definitely make the school happy, and he also praised the students present, which is really a very high-level opening statement.
We have to talk every day, and we come across some of them from time to timeThe embarrassment of not knowing how to speakand even experience some communication failures caused by improper openings. On the chat tools of the Internet, we will encounter a lot of people who lose as soon as they open their mouthsAwkward chat scenes
A guy wants to talk to a girl, but he can't say anything else, and he just says, "Hello." In this case, the other party replied with two words: "Hello." Or three words back to you: "I'm not good." "And then? There may not be then, which is what is often mentioned on the Internet nowChat about the scene of the car accident
In fact, when this kind of scene is **, we can often encounter it, and we may encounter some likesThe great god who acts as a life coachMany of their practices actually make us quite disgusted. These gods have one thing in common: they are on the top, and I eat more salt than you eatLost self-confidence
As soon as they open their mouths, they are always willing to tell their glorious history, their own life insights, and they can't extricate themselves from it, and they don't give you a chance to answer at all, let alone give you the opportunity to express your own opinions. Most of these openings are not popular. It's a pity that the whole world understands things, and he is the only one who doesn't understand it. It is inevitable that such people will often be labeled as self-righteous and self-serving.
Sharing sand sculptures every day, there are many people who like to use such an opening line: "I speak more straightforwardly." Or, "I know you don't like to hear it, but I have to say it." "When you encounter an opening sentence like this, you must already have a desire to escape, right? So what to do? I can't do first aid for you, you have to save yourself.
So, are there any tricks to learn in order to avoid losing as soon as you open your mouth? Let's take a look at the following examples.
Confucius once said: "Be sensitive to things and be cautious of words." "He told us to think twice before we speak. In layman's terms, it means that before you open your mouthI want to make a draft in mindAnd that makes a lot of sense.
To give the example of Socrates, one of Socrates' protégés once came to him in a hurry, panting and excitedly saying, "Tell you something you would never have imagined." ”
Hey, wait a minute. Socrates stopped him without mercy. "Did you tell me that it was filtered through three sieves? ”
His student suddenly sensed that something was wrong and shook his head.
Socrates continued, "When you are going to tell someone something, you should strain it through at least three sievesThe first sieve is called True。Is what you're telling me true? ”
The student said, "I heard it from the street, and everyone said that, and I don't know if it's true." ”
Then you should use yoursThe second sieveGo check,If not true, at least well-intentionedIs what you want to tell me in good faith? ”
No, it's the opposite. His student bowed his head in shame.
Socrates continued: "Then let's use it againThe third sieveCheck, see what you're so anxious to tell meIs it important?
The student replied, "Not really. ”
Socrates interrupted him and told him, "Since this news is not important, and it is not done with good intentions, and you do not know whether it is true or not, why do you say it?" If you say that, it will only cause trouble for the two of us. ”
To do this, he set out three sieves before speaking. Teach his students to strain through three sieves before they speak, and then opening their mouths has a special meaning for communication.
To sum up, what are the principles if you want to win as soon as you open your mouth.
First, communication should be precise. Confirm the purpose and needs of your communication before you speak, and avoid communicating for the sake of communication. Otherwise, it will end up being an ineffective communication.
Second, before you speak, you need to check yourself and see if you can clearly express your thoughts. If you find that you can't even understand yourself and what you want to say, how do you make others understand and listen? We often say that when someone speaks nonsense, or doesn't understand what he's saying, it's probably because they haven't checked themselves before they speak.
Third, it is necessary to distinguish between different occasions and objects. Different occasions and objects also determine what we say and how we speak. If you don't look at the occasion and don't pay attention to the object, you are in a hurry to speak, and it is easy to make the other party unhappy. For example, if you see a colleague who is about to go on a business trip with a suitcase, he will be concerned about him: "You must pay attention to safety, I wish him a safe journey." That's right, but at this time, if you add that because there was a plane crash some time ago, then it's you.
Fourth, opening your mouth slowly and half a beat is also a kind of cultivation, and being straightforward and quick often leads to trouble. Listen to what others say first, don't rush to express your own opinions, and even sometimes you wait for the other person to speak, and when the other party finishes, you will actually understand how to speak.
Fifth, it is very important to speak vividly, and think about how to open your mouth to infect the other person. You can tell a vivid story, or talk about an interesting topic, or add a little humor, as in the example we gave today, Jack Ma, Zuckerberg, and Obama. These are all things that will make you have a great show.
Among so many proposalsThe most basic and safestThat is: speak with your heart, first make a draft in your heart, and think about how to say it to be more infectious. Translating this sentence is to talk heart-to-heart, take some time to talk about what the other person wants to hear, and sometimes there will be a different beauty in looking at the world from a different perspective.
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