Here's what a reader wrote:
My ex-husband and I fell in love freely and got married, and during the relationship, we had a good relationship, but in the process of marriage, our ex-husband became impatient with me because of trivial matters in life, the cultivation of children, the decline of my appearance, and the protection of both parents, which caused more quarrels between us. In this case, both of us are unwilling to compromise, which leads to the freezing point of the couple's relationship. During this period, in order to vent his dissatisfaction with married life, his ex-husband got involved in an extramarital affair.
After my ex-husband betrayed my marriage, because I didn't have any idea of divorce, I began to interfere with the frequent contact between my ex-husband and the mistress, in exchange for the result that my ex-husband was determined to divorce me. After half a year, I didn't see any signs of my ex-husband's change of heart, and I had to accept the reality of divorce.
After the divorce, I was immersed in the pain of divorce for most of the year, and as I gradually came out of the shadow of divorce, I began to reflect on my shortcomings in managing my marriage, and hinted to myself that if I had the opportunity to reorganize my family in my future life, I would never make the mistake of being with my ex-husband again.
About a year after divorcing my ex-husband, my ex-husband straightened out the third party, and after another year, my current husband and I reorganized our family. Now let's look at my ex-husband's situation: I remarried a "beloved", and he married a "scourge".
My current husband and his ex-wife belong to a cross-regional marriage, and the reason for their divorce does not involve marital betrayal, but there is too much difference in the eating habits of both parties, which makes them both more painful in this relationship, and they are a peaceful breakup. And because my current husband and I didn't fight for custody of the children when we divorced, after we had our children, and when the eating habits were relatively the same, the current husband treated me very well. Of course, I also cherish this rare fate.
After my ex-husband straightened out the mistress, they often quarreled over money, and the other party always disliked my ex-husband's poor earning ability, which led to the result: after the other party cuckolded my ex-husband, they are now divorced.
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
Marriage breakdown is often something inconspicuous rather than a big one, so don't ignore the details that appear frequently in the process of maintaining your marriage
1) Eating habits.
People are faced with eating every day, if one person eats spicy, the other person does not; Or maybe one person likes to eat rice, and the other likes to eat pasta; Or if one person is vegetarian and the other person is not happy without meat, it will inevitably make the couple have some unpleasant and even depressed emotions on the issue of eating. At this time, it is necessary to compromise or cook two meals at a time, otherwise it is easy for the people in the besieged city to feel unhappy in their marriage. In today's world, cross-regional marriages and cross-border marriages are no longer uncommon, and cultural differences and dietary differences are issues that need to be solved urgently. If you forbear during the relationship because you are driven by love, there will be an explosion one day after marriage. For this reason, it is important to be able to adapt to each other's culture and food.
2) Hobbies.
In life, too many people often do things in their spare time: drinking, playing mahjong, physical exercise, shopping, no matter what kind of hobbies they have, at least the husband and wife should form the same frequency or accept the interests and hobbies of their lovers with a normal heart. If you insist on changing or assimilating your lover into someone similar to you, in the process of changing your lover, you will be very angry and your lover will be very aggrieved, and eventually find that it is difficult to change a person in a real sense. For this reason, there is no need to regard some of the interests and hobbies of the lover as non-professional behavior, because most people have only 30,000 days in this life, and on the premise of not violating the law, they must be happy. To do this, try to accept your lover's hobbies that are not of interest to you.
3) Work and rest time.
Nowadays, many people are night owls, but it is not excluded that there will be a very small number of people who do not have the habit of staying up late. In this case, the couple's schedule will not be the same. Regarding this issue, there is no need to theorize about right and wrong, and do not use "staying up late" to correct your lover for bad health. Because there are too many things in life that are harmful to your health, you still can't quit: for example, everyone knows that smoking is harmful to health, but smokers can be seen everywhere; For example, everyone knows that drinking too much alcohol hurts your health, but too many wineries are not still thriving. For this reason, life is sometimes not too deep, because people sometimes crave spiritual pleasure. For this reason, when the couple's schedule is not the same, they can occasionally choose to sleep in two bedrooms.
4) Life expectations.
Some people are eager to have a stable job life, some people are eager to make a lot of money in business and live freely, and about life expectations, you need to have a more firm plan during the relationship. Unfortunately, some people take a fancy to their lover's stable job during their relationship, but after they get married, they can't accept their lover's earning ability to survive and starve, and encourage their lover to try to do business; There are also some people who can accept the toss of their lover's business during their relationship, but after they get married, they want their lover's work time to be regular. I want to say that the marriage partner is just a more sacred choice, especially after marriage, try not to try to change the lifestyle of your lover, and in the state that the other party is not a lazy person, do not frequently pick on the other party.
5) Facial weight.
People are visual creatures, don't think that the two parties have formed a marriage result, which can make the appearance collapse and the body greasy. In this era, it is not only women who need to be "beautiful", but men should also pay attention to their appearance and figure, because after women enter the workplace, they will subconsciously form a trend of pursuing equality between men and women in the marriage and love market. Usually, people get involved in extramarital affairs mostly because the opposite sex outside of marriage makes them look comfortable in terms of appearance and figure. For this reason, people should try to prevent their appearance from aging rapidly and their figure from deforming quickly through reasonable diet and correct physical exercise. If one day, your lover is indifferent to you because you are "ugly", don't complain that your lover is too superficial.
6) Parental mixing.
After marriage, the relationship between husband and wife is the core, and the parent-child relationship is the auxiliary. At this time, parents should avoid intermingling with their children's marital life as much as possible. Especially when helping children with children, try to uphold the attitude of talking less and doing more. At the same time, if the children are still filial to their parents, please do not pick the bones in the eggs. Whether it is parents or children, they need to understand things: son-in-law is not a son, daughter-in-law is not a daughter, in-laws are not parents-in-law, and parents-in-law are not parents-in-law. Because people will have an instinctive sense of protecting their shortcomings, so in the process of getting along with their families, don't expect too much from your son-in-law, daughter-in-law, in-laws, and parents-in-law. When your mentality is relatively stable and your expectations are not too high, it is easier to find a point of psychological balance.
When you and your ex-husband were in love and just got married, you had some good experiences between you, but because you didn't know how to compromise on trivial matters in life, there was a magnetic field between you that didn't like each other. At this time, your ex-husband's strategy is not to fine-tune in married life, but to choose to find the opposite sex outside of marriage to vent, in exchange for the result of your divorce.
When you and your ex-husband just divorced, you were really sad, but after your ex-husband straightened out the third party, you resigned yourself to the cruel reality that you and your ex-husband could never return to the past. That's when you met your husband. It's just that you and your husband are willing to summarize the disadvantages of their marriage experience after reorganizing the family, which leads to a happy state in your married life, and your ex-husband's preferred marriage partner is a "vixen" at all, and it is not surprising that he faces the embarrassment of divorce after being cuckolded.
Marriage **from the Internet, **unrelated)