It's 2024, how many people are still single?
In the New Year, our parents plus seven aunts and eight aunts can't hold back, and they have arranged a lot of blind dates for you, right?
The blind date is simple and simple, just like the elders said, come out to see each other, just do it, and pull it down if it doesn't work; It's really hard to say, how can you talk about it? What to talk about? What should I do if I am cold? It's a head-scratching just to think about.
If you feel like you have low emotional intelligence and a stupid mouth, you often can't find a topic.
If you are facing a blind date, you are very afraid of being embarrassed and on pins and needles.
If you're interested in someone and don't know how to go one step further with her.
Then you must take a good look at the following content.
Today I'm going to give you a chat that specializes in blind dates and has nothing to say, to help you successfully complete the crucial first conversation.
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Expand the conversation with common interests
The two people who don't know each other will definitely be a little restrained and embarrassed when they just sit down, so they can say a few useless nonsense words to break the silence at first, such as caring about how the other party came over? Is it convenient? Not far away? Something like that.
After the pleasantries, in order to avoid a cold scene in the future, it is imperative to find common ground.
Eat, drink, hobbies, cats and dogs, hot events, these are all good options. Especially food, this topic alone can be talked about for a long time, and everyone has a very say in the matter of eating.
If a person can't even talk to you about food, either the other person is a boring person or very socially phobic, or she is not interested in you, and you have no fun at all.
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If you meet a blind date with a strong desire to express yourself, don't interrupt or rush to express your thoughts, but also respond in a timely manner to show that you are listening.
If the other party doesn't talk much, then you need to guide her to express as much as possible, otherwise the topic can easily come to an abrupt end.
You can respond first, and then ask questions, arousing the other person's desire to answer.
For example, if the other person says that he likes long-distance running, you can say: I usually like to work out, but I usually play with more equipment. 」
Next, I think running is boring, but it's really good that you can keep running, is there any trick? Can you teach me? 」
That way, the other person won't just say a "mmmmmm
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There are also sentence patterns that can encourage the other person to talk more, such as:
You just said you would xxx, the first time I've heard of this, can you tell me more? 」
Do you like xxx? That's really special, how did you get into this in the first place? 」
I have the impression that people who play xxx or work xxx are more xxx, is that true? 」
It doesn't matter if you're right or not, the purpose of prolonging the conversation has definitely been achieved.
Note that the question must be an area that the other person is interested in or good at, and the question should be to the point.
So do your homework in advance, flip through each other's circle of friends, and get a general idea of what she likes. If it's a field you don't understand, you can check it online first.
Men who show carefulness, observation, and an effort to understand each other are very strong points in the hearts of girls.
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Don't ask what you shouldn't
When you come out on a blind date, your family background and personal situation must be said.
But after all, you can just point to the end, and generally others will definitely tell the other party about your general situation in advance. It's the first time we met, and I don't need to give it all up.
Whatever the reason, whether it is a man or a woman, it is possible to glorify one's own conditions appropriately, but do not lie, and a sincere attitude is necessary.
Although blind dates are all about getting married, everyone hopes to find their ideal partner in the shortest possible time, but don't lose your sense of boundaries in order to pursue efficiency.
In the initial acquaintance stage, don't think about how in-depth and specific information you can get. To put it bluntly, making an appointment to meet at this time is to see if it is a lie, how to talk and how you feel overall.
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Chats should be gradual, rather than going straight to the point and asking questions continuously, and the conversations of checking accounts are extremely inextricably experienced.
Sensitive topics involving privacy are taboo, no matter how tactful they are, they will cause disgust to the other party, and if you are not careful, you will never recover.
Don't ask about the other person's property (income, position, car, house), and don't ask about the other person's parents (what did they do before?). Retired? Is there any health insurance? Don't talk about your previous relationship experiences (how many have you talked about?). Why did you break up? How many dates have you been on? Why didn't it work out? ）。
If you feel good about the other person after meeting, you can wait until the relationship goes further**; If it doesn't feel good, there's no point in knowing so much.
In particular, some people ask each other vigorously without first mentioning their own situation, which is even more offensive.
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When we meet for the first time, the two sides will chat and have a preliminary positioning of each other, so that the information can stay on the surface of the emotional value.
Taking a step back, we can also get to know each other better by talking about safe topics of the public.
For example, how long will it take for the other party to come over? How to get here? Generally, those who have a car will directly say that they are coming by car, or say their approximate address, so that they can roughly judge the economic conditions.
If the other party is very knowledgeable about food, you can take the opportunity to ask, Do you know that you often visit the store so much? Which one do you like to go to? Or do you do your own research at home? In this way, you can more or less understand the other party's consumption view.
What countries have you been to? Did you have any memorable experiences? Travel topics like this can reflect a person's knowledge and experience, and it is certain that if you don't have money, you can't go to so many places.
Even if you casually ask the other party what they think about hot events or what to do when they encounter pig teammates while playing games, their personality, handling style, and three views will also be revealed.
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Compliment each other effectively
Falling in love itself is a process of mutual attraction, and if you want the other person to be interested in you, you need to mobilize the other person's emotions.
The impact of emotions on women is very large, and they can even change their original thoughts, and what we often say about feeling is actually an emotional experience. In the process of contact, if you can make the other party feel like a spring breeze and feel good, the follow-up development will be smoother.
So what should be done? Praise.
Complimenting the other person is not to say that you are beautiful and that you look so good when you smile, but the general language that applies to anyone is relatively superficial.
It's just not distracted, I don't know why many people like to say that you are thinner than the top and you are better looking than the top . This will only make the other party's heart produce So am I very fat and ugly in **? Such an idea is counterproductive.
Boasting too bluntly about the other party's figure is even more thunder, and the snacks should be said slowly after they become later.
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In fact, instead of being praised for their appearance, women nowadays want to be recognized for their talents, brains, hard work, and abilities.
Whether it's a professional achievement or a personal milestone, expressing appreciation for her and recognition of her accomplishments will not only make the other person happy, but your own image can also be improved: a person with depth and the ability to see the essence through the phenomenon.
This will make her look at you differently and immediately distinguish you from others.
An effective compliment should be for what makes her different from others or at least a specific point, as you can refer to:
The introducer told me that she was introducing me to a very powerful girl.
I see that your circle of friends actually posted a xxx certificate, I heard that it is super difficult to test, and you are too strong.
You actually know this, I talked to others before and no one knew.
I feel like you're working hard, and it's not easy to do this position in 3 years.
Note that appropriate praise is sufficient, and it is too much.
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Avoid pretending and preaching
Everyone wants to find a high-quality partner. What girl wouldn't love a wise and knowledgeable man?
But don't show yourself too much that you know how to do it, and pretend to be annoying.
In addition, if the two parties have different views during the chat, there is no need to refute each other, let alone teach others to behave.
Ever heard of the term male preaching?
In essence, it is to establish a tall image for oneself by suppressing the other party's point of view, and to gain the satisfaction of surrender in the process of rubbing the dignity and cognition of others.
But wishful thinking about the other person as a fool does not mean that the other person is really a fool, and this way of trying to make the other person worship him or her in order to win favor is often very ridiculous because the purpose is too obvious.
To tell you the truth, I have also been on a blind date a few times, and every time I meet that kind of man who is full of daddy flavor, I will silently say in my heart: You hurry up and drink saliva and rest for a while, there are white foams at the corners of your mouth when you speak.
In order to avoid that condescending arrogance, to this is just one of my thoughts, what do you think? It would be a lot better as an ending.
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Don't take politeness as a gesture
It may be that there is a lack of opportunities for different flows, and many men will have emotional intelligence in the process of contact with blind dates.
For example, it's easy to get confused.
The other party may be polite to you in order to give face to the introducer, and you feel that the other party is interesting to you.
You've just met, so don't talk about it. Don't give each other endearing titles such as "little piggy", "baby", "fairy", "princess", and don't bombard each other with earthy love words like "I went to the infusion today, what kind of fluid, miss your night".
If you want to chat with the girl, you can have a good chat, don't start every day You haven't eaten What time do you get off work Good morning, good afternoon, good night, it's raining, what are you doing, and then you can't say anything nutritious, or often make a look at it, such an unreasonable request is really offensive.
If you don't reply for half an hour, you will send a few in a row ?? Or ask, "Why didn't you reply to me?" , which will annoy the other party.
There are also many people who feel that the blind date is good, and they are afraid that the other party will run away and rush to advance, but it is easy to have problems.
For example, if you discuss the issue of having several children with each other after chatting for a few days, who is this going to scare to death?
Blind date is to provide an opportunity to meet the opposite sex, not to send a wife directly. Everyone is still just a stranger, and they still have to go through the normal contact process.
Don't treat obscenity as romance and cheapness as humor, and speak in a measured manner, including emojis.
It's a good idea to read the message before you send it, as the text on the screen can be ambiguous and misunderstood without the help of body language and tone, so make sure your words are clear and accurate.
Relax, be sure to relax
Although the form of blind date is deliberate, the mindset should be relaxed. If you always have the mentality of going to meet your future partner, you will be very nervous, and you may not perform well.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself or expect too much, just go with the flow. If you can talk, you can continue, and if you can't talk, it's not a big deal, just go and meet a new friend.
Many people are usually very busy at work, and sometimes they are so tired that they don't even bother to talk, but if you really want to find someone to marry, you must understand that it takes a lot of time and energy to understand a person and establish a relationship with the other party, and this psychological construction must be done well.
Don't retreat and collapse because you haven't succeeded in dating a few times, few people are successful at once.
Blind date is a two-way process. It's normal to be rejected and rejected by others.
If you are not satisfied with the other party, you might as well say it clearly, after all, everyone's time is precious, just pay attention to the way you speak. You can praise each other first, then euphemistically say that you feel that the two people are not suitable, and finally express gratitude and blessings.
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After the first meeting, I suggested going back and sending a message, saying that the chat was very pleasant today, and the impression of the other party was very good (if you didn't see the second half of the sentence, you can not say it), and then I cared about whether the other party had arrived home safely.
If you have a good conversation and want to develop with each other, you can just take this opportunity to talk more.
Even if the atmosphere is a little awkward on a blind date, or it's normal to get stuck and don't know what to say. Not everyone is born with the gift of being able to speak well, and interacting well with the opposite sex takes practice.
When you meet someone you like, you should take the initiative and be interesting. You can strive to win favor with good insight and generous and appropriate conversation; You must also know how to advance and retreat, and have the sense of proportion.
The real high emotional intelligence is not sophisticated, urban, and all kinds of hypocritical routines, but sincerity full of wisdom.
Treating others with heart and being honest with yourself is the last word for the success of blind dates.
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Written by Planning: Team Leader Li frowned Typesetting: Kiki Producer: GagaFocus on New York Fashion Week, and watch the show during the New Year
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