Now there is a hot word on the web".Ordinary and confidentI couldn't agree more.
Some people may think that this is a derogatory term, but what is there to be confident in?
In fact, every successful person starts from ordinary, and it is precisely because they have a confident heart that they have achieved success and become extraordinary.
For example: Ma Yun looks ordinary, and in the early days of entrepreneurship, he repeatedly hit a wall.
I once went to negotiate with a company and was rejected 37 times, and when I came back, I told my partner that he had rejected the boss 37 times.
This is actually a manifestation of his self-confidence, and only by believing that he will be able to succeed will he dare to accept challenges again and again.
There are also Lei Jun, Liu Qiangdong, Wang Jianlin, etc., these bigwigs are all from "ordinary and confident".
In life, lack of self-confidence is a hurdle that many children cannot overcome, and in their eyes, only excellent people are qualified to be confident.
All men are created equal, they are unique in the world, and they don't have to sink in the whirlpool of unconfidence.
Of course, self-confidence is not innate, and needs to be carefully nurtured and cultivated by parents.
What can parents do to raise a confident child?
1. Give unconditional love
It is easy for people who are loved to gain self-confidence.
It is not difficult to find that in life, confident people rarely feel lonely because they are surrounded by a lot of relatives and friends that they can rely on.
Everyone needs a sense of belonging, and the establishment of a sense of belonging is the need to establish an identity and define oneself through interpersonal communication.
From the day they are born, children rely on their parents, feel unconditional care and love from their parents, and plant the seeds of self-esteem in their hearts early.
If a child doesn't get enough attention and love, it's easy to have low self-esteem.
Recently, there has been such a paragraph on the Internet**, which is really worried about the mental health of children.
A girl made a table of delicious food in order to thank her parents, but was scolded by her mother for wasting food.
The child is not recognized by the mother, nor does he feel the love of the mother, where does the confidence come from?
Children who are not loved often think in their hearts: I am not good enough, I am not worthy, and even have self-loathing.
Love, it seems that parents do not need training to acquire ability, but it is very difficult to really do it.
Because, love is the feeling of children, not the feelings of parents, and under the influence of traditional Chinese thought, more children feel that they are not accepted by their parents.
In "Little Boy", there is a boy who loves insects, which is difficult for ordinary parents to accept, but the boy's parents fully respect the child's hobbies, and often communicate with him and give support.
When the child was questioned by other classmates, he said very calmly: "If they don't understand, they don't understand, there is nothing to spend, do their own thing." ”
The words are full of confidence.
When a child is unconditionally accepted by their parents, their self-confidence grows.
Children feel the courage of their parents to give them back, and the power of self-confidence will come naturally.
When you don't know how to develop your child's self-confidence, love him well.
2. Create a competent experience for children
The first thing that many parents think of when it comes to cultivating their children's self-confidence is praise.
Praise does help a lot in cultivating self-confidence, but praise is a technical job, and if you don't grasp the scale well, some children may become unable to accept criticism, fear failure and setbacks, and even build "false self-confidence".
Raise a confident child and not rely too much on praise.
Parents should let go and let their children accumulate real, successful experiences, so that they can believe that they are capable and build their own sense of competence.
However, in real life, parents are often afraid that their children will be harmed, or they do not want their children to cause trouble, and prevent or even completely replace their children from doing things.
This deprives the child of the opportunity to experience it, and it is easy for the child to feel that he is not good at anything.
In some small things, parents should dare to let go, let their children accept challenges again and again, so that they can continue to explore the boundaries of their abilities and gain self-confidence, which cannot be replaced by any words and encouragement.
As a parent, don't weaken your child's ability, the more competency you accumulate for small things, and you will become more and more confident.
3. Don't compare yourself with others
In China, many children grow up by comparing themselves to others.
When I was young, I compared my height, grades, and when I grew up, I compared a car, a house, a ticket, an object, etc.
It seems that only when you win over others can you have confidence and peace of mind.
When many children reach adulthood, no matter how much they have achieved, they do not feel enough, and their inferiority complex is further strengthened in comparison with others.
This is the seed of low self-esteem that parents unintentionally planted.
Most of the low self-esteem stems from "comparison".
There's a passage that says it well:
A person always looks up to and envy the happiness of others, and when he looks back, he finds that others are looking up to and envy his own happiness, in fact, everyone is very happy, but happiness exists in the eyes of others.
Please let go of your anxiety, when you let go of your anxiety, you will find that every step of your child's growth is rewarding.
A child's self-confidence can only sprout when you have confidence in your child.
Remember to nurture your child's self-confidence, give them unconditional love, give them the opportunity to experience a sense of competence, and let them live their lives.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program