China Youth Daily, China Youth Network reporter Yin Haiyue.
In the co-living space of Shanghai Dingxin Building, at the balcony of the living room. Photo courtesy of the interviewee.
For some young people, there is a special space in the Dingxin building on Jiashan Road in Shanghai.
It is tucked away in an apartment here, where several young people share a house. The living room of more than 20 square meters of the apartment is equipped with a desk, TV, bar counter, and two sofas. After work, young people like to sit on the couch, watch TV together, chat, and sometimes talk until 1 a.m. before returning to their rooms. On weekdays, everyone will also make an appointment for dinner, exhibitions, or travel.
We are like family. "One resident found the roommate relationship warm and friendly. Some people want to eat a bowl of noodles at night, and others accompany them. Someone was hospitalized with a broken bone from skateboarding, and everyone brought something to the hospital to visit.
In this "home", dishes, chopsticks, rice and noodles are shared, and many foods are shared. A young man rented the apartment and found more like-minded people to live with. They didn't know each other before they moved here, but they all came together with one goal: to create a warm and comfortable co-living space.
In Shanghai, such co-living spaces don't just exist in one building. When tenant Ren Bin first moved into a similar apartment, he was attracted by the sofa, dining table and large windows. Many years later, he still remembers the first time he walked into his room, seeing a lot of people sitting in the living room, "feeling very comfortable."
There are some problems with the various rental models at the moment, and young people want to explore a different way of renting. Haoyan Zhuang, Ph.D. in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles, has been focusing on this co-living space since 2020. He notes that, unlike traditional co-living based on blood and geography, this kind of co-living is more of a free choice for young people, "where the residents know what they want and maintain a shared life through autonomy, like a kind of social experiment".
The living room of another co-living space where Ren Bin (pseudonym) lived. Photo courtesy of the interviewee.
Before moving into this kind of co-living space, Ren Bin never thought that so many people could live together. However, this kind of "dorm-like" life has always been what he is looking forward to.
When he was in college in Nanjing, he lived in a large three-bedroom dormitory with more than a dozen classmates, and a group of people played games, played werewolf killing, and talked about sports, ** and art, "feeling like family".
After graduating from university, he went to a company in Shanghai to do ** editing. Because he still wanted to live like a university, he specially chose a house with a living room, and placed a coffee table, sofa, and carpet in the living room, and shared it with a colleague. But roommates rarely come to the living room, and the two hardly talk to each other except to meet and say hello.
Once, when he saw his roommate watching a variety show, he proposed to watch it together, but his roommate did not refuse, but "I don't really want to communicate further" and "I always feel a sense of distance". After 3 months, the roommate found a girlfriend, and the two interacted less until the roommate moved out.
Ren Bin said that in order to share a house, he looked at many houses and found that the living room was either very small, only a few square meters, or had no windows, or was used as a storage room. In some houses, the living room is more messy than the corridor, "clutter piles", and everyone's room is equipped with a combination lock. "I feel like I haven't gone home once I enter the door, and I have to go through a small door to go home. ”
After seeing the post of recruiting people in the co-living space, he "couldn't suppress his excitement" and immediately signed up.
Like Ren Bin, Fang Ting also wants to connect with others and join in the cohabitation life.
Before coming to the Dingxin Building, she lived in a loft apartment in Pudong New Area. The house was on the top floor, and from the window you could see the magnificent city skyscrapers and the rape flowers planted on the terraces of other people's homes.
When she first moved in, Fang Ting was very happy, she put soft blankets in many places in the house, and also posted a small essay to express her joy. But it didn't take long for that joy to fade away, and she felt more and more lonely, "coming home every night with cold walls."
Her routine became chaotic, she often didn't sleep until two or three in the morning, her productivity became low, and she "felt that there was no driving force to pull me up."
Fang Ting feels that the problem is that no one talks "nonsense" to himself: "When you have fewer and fewer relationships, you will have more and more freedom, and when you have no relationships, you will have infinite freedom, and infinite freedom will collapse." ”
Wu Li can understand this "depressed" state very well. He has lived alone in Shanghai for more than 1 year, sometimes he feels tired and wronged at work, and he wants to find someone to complain or share, but he has no friends in Shanghai, "he can only consume alone in the house, and there is no way to solve his emotions".
He began organizing activities such as movie viewing and reading clubs on weekends to "create an environment that changes the atomized state of young people".
Wu Li said that he works for a car advertising company, and his daily job is to place car advertisements on different platforms. As the end link in the chain of automobile production and sales, he often feels that he is a screw that may be replaced at any time, "replace you, and the system will still work".
Every time the overtime work is serious, he goes to lie on the rooftop for a while, "the whole person is very relaxed". He thinks that everyone is sitting together, blowing the evening breeze, watching the stars, chatting and drinking, just like the people in the village used to sit in the square and watch movies, "with a sense of community".
However, most of the social relationships at the event are "short and unstable", and Wu Li feels that living together can bring "a sense of trust to get along day and night". Seeing that others were running public spaces, he also rented an apartment to create a co-living space, and at the same time held public events in the living room.
Wu Li feels that co-living space provides a stronghold, "which allows you to take root and connect with people".
In the summer of 2020, Zhuang Haoyan interviewed residents in two co-living spaces in Shanghai. He noted that many of the residents were international students who stayed in Shanghai for internships because they could not go abroad, and "the pandemic cut off their social ties, and they chose to live together to make up for the lack of social needs."
Resident Xue Li still remembers the feeling of living alone at home during the epidemic, "I can't find anyone to talk to every day". Xue Li said that no one in the building was infected at that time, so she stuffed small notes into the cracks of residents' doors one by one, set up a group of more than 100 people, invited neighbors to come to the house to chat, and cut the heads of more than 20 people.
In addition to sleeping, there are some people who live in a place where they will be more connected. In September 2022, Xue Li, with the help of Ren Bin, created a co-living space in Huangpu District.
In the co-living space of Shanghai Dingxin Building, the living room is a public space for everyone's activities. Photo courtesy of the interviewee.
Unlike everyday shared housing, similar co-living spaces are more focused on public space. Ren Bin's roommate, Cheng Zijian, said that some rooms live for two people, and the living room is used to a high degree, and the rent will be increased accordingly.
Ren Bin and Cheng Zijian live in a room with a monthly rent of 1,900 yuan. There was barely anything in the room except for two single beds. But Ren Bin didn't care, he preferred to stay in the living room. When a roommate sees him, he will take the initiative to watch TV and chat with him.
There can be people in the living room 24 hours a day, which is especially popular. A roommate said.
In Ren's view, the atmosphere in the living room depends mainly on the personality and engagement of the guests.
He remembers that there was a roommate who liked to work in the living room, which led to a craze for working in the living room. Cheng Zijian likes photography, and every time he washes film, he can attract a group of onlookers. Some roommates like to practice aerobics, and often take everyone to do exercises and exercise.
Therefore, to apply for living in several similar apartments in Shanghai, you have to fill out an application form and go through interviews and other links. In addition to information about the work organization and living habits, the application form also sets up some open-ended questions, such as personal skills and concernsThe activity you want to start in the space;If you want to participate in the construction of co-housing, the "role" includes event planning and coordination, part-time finance, etc.
We want to see the person's interest, the brilliance, and we also hope that he will bring something to the space once he moves in. A co-living space promoter said in an online discussion.
The application form itself is a threshold. Wu Li said that some applicants are not sincere and motivated enough, and they don't even bother to write, so they will be screened out first.
In order to get to know the applicant better, some co-living spaces invite the applicant to have dinner at home during the interview. "A person can convey a lot of information", Ren Bin has seen someone come with a bouquet full of stars, someone took away the garbage at the door when they left, and some people seemed to come to talk about projects during interviews, "always show you the most elite side". In the end, the person who was too "elitist", he felt that he was not sincere enough, did not vote.
Xue Li hopes that each resident "is an independent thinker". She interviewed a young man who had just quit his job and had fallen out of love, and everyone else voted for it, but she didn't, "He longs to find friends, lovers, and support for life here, and his expectations for cohabitation are too high." ”
The interview is to meet yourself, and in the process, you gradually become familiar with what the other person wants and what you want. Ren Bin said.
After moving into the space, each resident needs to pay dozens of yuan as the public ** of the space, and discuss and vote on the daily affairs of the space to form a consensus of the space.
A lot of consensus is a little bit of a thing. Ren Bin remembers that at the beginning, everyone had to take turns to take out the garbage and mop the floor, but everyone was often very tired and had no strength to work when they came home from work, so they changed to just taking out the garbage, "just do it easily".
In the past, there was no limit to the living time of the sofa guests, but later, everyone found that the sofa guests lived for a long time and were prone to conflicts with their roommates, so they adjusted the living time of the sofa guests to one week.
Unlike screening roommates, many things can be done by a few people who obey the majority, but sometimes this method does not solve the problem. Zhuang Haoyan remembers that once, a co-living space discussed whether to buy a refrigerator, and if so, he had to remove the shoe rack at the door. As a result, only one roommate objected to buying a refrigerator, and this roommate was a little angry, saying that he had always been in the minority and that his needs were not being met. In order to maintain the relationship between roommates, everyone finally found a way to set aside a small area for this roommate to put shoes alone.
The smaller the group, the more important each person's opinion is. In Zhuang Haoyan's view, in order for public space to operate, everyone needs to actively participate in the discussion, and it cannot be self-centered.
There are some things that residents need to be communal about. A roommate found that someone was away from home for 1 month, and asked if it was possible to collect rent on a daily basis, and everyone discussed it, and found that if the rent is calculated in this way, then the utility bill should also be charged according to the time of using the living room, but it is really difficult to calculate it clearly. Eventually, the guests decided to collect money the way they were, "not just thinking about themselves."
In co-living spaces, a sense of boundary is also a factor that affects harmony.
Residents remember one time when someone ate food from a roommate's refrigerator, the roommate was angry, and since then, the consensus has added to the consensus that the bottom two layers of the refrigerator can't be moved.
Another time, everyone was cooking together, and one roommate was cooking, and the other roommate was pointing and pointing, and the roommate who was cooking looked unhappy. Some roommates saw this scene and offered to keep quiet while someone was cooking. This suggestion was written into the consensus.
We joke that we are all family, but it would not be appropriate to really think of this as a family of origin. Cheng Zijian said that they want everyone to get along with others rationally.
In several co-living spaces, there is an unwritten consensus that if someone in the room develops a romantic relationship, they should move out of the space.
Being in love is a kind of possession. Xue Li explained that when lovers and roommates quarrel, others will be in a dilemma, which can easily affect the harmony of the space.
In order to make the atmosphere of the space better, several people who live together in the space often exchange experiences in running the space.
At the discussion meeting, Wu Li expressed his confusion, saying that some roommates wanted to meet regularly every week to share the books they saw and their work experiences. But he worries that some people don't want to be forced to participate in public life, "doing PPT at the company, and doing PPT at home".
In response to his confusion, a resident of a co-living space in Los Angeles suggested that "family rituals" are important, but that a dinner party is more appropriate to Chinese culture than a meeting, "less of a burden of thought, and the possibility of impromptu conversations." ”
That day, the discussion meeting lasted until more than two o'clock in the morning, and many people were already sleepy and still insisting on the discussion.
Wu Li believes that a good co-living space can bring a lot of emotional support to young people.
Here, he can recall many slices of his life. For example, which meal put more salt, what gossip was discussed, who made the best dishes, and the scene where everyone ate popcorn and watched movies together, complaining about variety shows.
You feel like life is very alive. Wu Li calls this feeling "homely": "It has no cost or price, unlike having dinner with friends, eating once a month, and considering whether you look good or not." This slack interaction is more comfortable. ”
There is a roommate who is not going well to find a job, and others help her analyze her strengths, possible problems in the interview, and what kind of job she is suitable for.
Someone helped a single roommate introduce friends, and seeing that the two were making slow progress, the other roommates all helped to come up with ideas, giving suggestions to increase the girl's favorability, and analyzing the psychology of the two in this relationship.
In addition to emotional support, Wu Li feels that co-living can also allow young people to cope with more "uncertainty". They stipulate in the rental contract that if someone damages public property and has many conflicts with roommates and neighbors, other roommates can turn on the "** mechanism" and terminate the contract with them.
Xue Li's space is "** roommate." This roommate behaved normally during the interview, but after moving into the space, he used the public ** to buy things for himself, and refused to communicate with others. After being "** out of the space, he smashed the wardrobe in the bedroom and sued Xue Li in court on the grounds that the deposit was not returned.
When she was accused, Xue Li unfortunately broke a bone and delayed it for several months. To her relief, the "whole family" accompanied her in court, and some roommates wore three-piece suits, which were "particularly imposing". Xue Li said that this incident not only did not make her lose her confidence in living together, but made her see the meaning of living together.
During the epidemic, because of the close roommate relationship, everyone did not feel the pain of staying at home. Ren Bin remembers that during the lockdown in Shanghai, residents bought vegetables through different channels, and when they grabbed vegetables online, they could also eat army hot pot, chocolate, and drink milk.
During that time, they often cooked together, watched movies, played board games, talked heart-to-heart, discussed topics about cohabitation, and recorded several podcasts, "The desire to output is high".
They often share their daily lives on an app. Someone recorded the day's distribution, someone wrote down a scene where a resident cried when he left, other roommates made him laugh, and someone developed a program on software to record scores, so that the loser could take out the garbage and treat him.
Co-living spaces aren't perfect. There is a lot of mobility here, and many residents rent for less than half a year because they are in love or go to work in other places.
This makes the roommates have to constantly interview and adapt to the new roommates. Sometimes, they interviewed three or four people and failed to find a suitable roommate, so the room was vacant for more than a month, and the rest of the residents had to split the rent of the house. There is room to find a way to make money to offset the risk of vacancy.
According to Zhuang Haoyan's observation, at present, the co-living space is limited by the community and the rental market. "Landlords are skeptical of tenants, especially when it comes to multi-person co-housing. ”
Ren Bin's co-living space was moving because the landlord frequently received complaints from neighbors. Ren Bin said that at that time, they often held activities, and people kept coming in and out, and the neighbor uncle reported to the community that it was a boarding house. Although it was later confirmed that this was not a boarding house, some people kept reporting it, "three times in six months", and the landlord was unbearable and unwilling to rent it to them.
Later, when looking for this house in Dingxin Building, Ren Bin looked at nearly 100 sets before selecting them. Ren Bin said that most of the houses are three-bedroom, and it was difficult to select three houses, two of which did not have enough toilets, and the other house had no windows in the living room. In the end, none of the three houses voted more than half.
After moving, in order to improve community relations, Ren Bin often chatted with the staff of the community. During the epidemic, all four members of the family volunteered to help the community distribute supplies and do nucleic acid testing, and roommates who can speak Japanese and English were also responsible for communicating with foreigners in the community.
After a few months, the whole building knew them, and the staff of the neighborhood committee saw that they were so large that they even sent them some more supplies.
Ren Bin loves his time in co-living spaces. Not long ago, he moved out of the apartment because of a relationship, but he still kept a bed here, paid the rent on time, and came back every now and then for two days. Someone initiates a topic discussion, and he always signs up for it.
Ren Bin hopes that even if he is in love and married, he can live such a cohabitation life. He imagined that if there was a one-story house that could accommodate four or five families, and each family lived three or four people, the emotion of co-living space could be established.
A good cohabitation experience can be passed from person to person. One former resident of a co-living space said that many of their roommates have left Shanghai and brought their co-living experience to other cities.
The people's ability to act and explore life is very impressive. Here, Cheng said, he saw "more possibilities in life." Some roommates work in physics, and while living in a sojourn, they explore co-living spaces in different countries. Some roommates are studying for a PhD in the United States, taking a one-year break to study dancing.
He hopes that in the future, he will also be "on the move" and explore the world while working.
Lin Mu has been a "sofa guest" in the public space of Dingxin Building for more than one week. Prior to coming here, she worked as an event planner for a company in Xiamen. She always felt that there was no one around her to talk to, and "the spirit has no home".
In order to find a circle where "you can meet and chat at any time", she spent more than 3 months, traveled to more than a dozen cities, and participated in various activities such as reading clubs and workshops. But every time, I feel that "the conversation is not pleasant".
When she came to the co-living space, she felt that the people here were very friendly, and she often ate and chatted with everyone. She also organized a discussion on the theme of marriage and love, talking about her confusion about marriage.
The discussion lasted for more than an hour, and Lin Mu said that her confusion was still unanswered, but the young people here encouraged her, "If you can't find something, you can create it yourself", she remembered what she heard at an event.
At the request of the interviewee, Ren Bin, Wu Li, Xue Li, Lin Mu, and Fang Ting are pseudonyms in the article).
*: China Youth Daily.