I always thought that longevity was a blessing, until I saw my parents who were trapped in time, and my children who were trapped on the road of raising them.
At the age of 55, I retired.
At that moment, not to mention how happy I was.
After a lifetime, now it's finally over.
Because I can finally put down my work and enjoy my old age.
But such a good day has not been dashing for a few days.
The mother, who has always been physically strong, suffers from Alzheimer's disease.
From memory loss at the beginning, to the decline of spatial ability, and finally to the inability to take care of oneself in daily life, incontinence.
Eat, drink, and Lazar, and someone must take care of them.
I used to revolve around work, but now I revolve around the elderly.
Ever since my mother fell ill, I have been taking care of her day and night.
Although they also have two sons, they are not with them because of their work. The burden of taking care of my mother fell on me.
In order to take care of this mother, who has no memory and cannot take care of herself, I gave up almost all my private life.
Because the real world of Alzheimer's disease is like a myriad of propellers that spin out of order – completely out of control when they get out of control
When I go out to buy groceries in the morning, every few minutes, I have to look at my phone and check the surveillance at home** to make sure my mother is not walking around.
At night, sometimes my mother had to get up more than 20 times, and I could barely sleep.
What's even more tiring is that I myself am a small person, and when I go to the toilet and change my pants and my mother doesn't cooperate, I can't do anything at all, because I can't bear the weight of her whole body.
The twenty-four hours of nervous mental state forced me to go crazy.
"Sometimes, I really feel like I can't support this mother. ”
I really want to throw people to the nursing home and let the caregiver be responsible.
But the news of the abuse of the elderly by the caregivers made me timid.
As a daughter, I am still like this, how can I not be angry with my mother as a nurse who has no blood relationship?
On the road of my mother's retirement, I really collapsed and healed myself at the same time.
Also because of taking care of his father, Xiangxiang from Henan repeatedly collapsed.
Helping her 74-year-old demented father clean up feces and change clothes is Xiangxiang's daily routine every morning.
30 years old is the age to work hard for a career.
But because she had to take care of her paralyzed father for a long time, Xiangxiang completely gave up her career future.
The old father with dementia always gave Xiangxiang all kinds of gifts in the morning from time to time.
Push the door and enter, and there is visible stool all over the house: on the floor, on the bed, on the clothes.
Obviously, there is a toilet, but the old father just doesn't use it.
Xiangxiang patiently changed the old father's clothes, stopped for breakfast, and before the morning clothes could be washed, the old man pulled the ground again.
You must know that a minute ago, Xiangxiang deliberately moved the toilet to the side of the bed and told her father that she must use the toilet if she wants to defecate.
The old father shook his head vigorously and said no.
But when he turned around, the old man pulled into his pants again.
As Xiangxiang said, it's not a matter when you think about it later.
It was already common for her father to pull her pants, but at that moment she just felt aggrieved.
Why can't you just be obedient and use the toilet?
The fragrance that she had been enduring collapsed at that moment.
If it's your own child, maybe you can beat it up.
ButThat's his own father, he can't beat or scold.
In order to vent the unhappiness in his heart, he can only hit himself.
Because only in this way can you make yourself feel better.
I told you to use the toilet, but you didn't use it, you had to pull it on the ground. ”
You are disgusted with dead people every day, you look at your body. The clothes you just changed haven't been washed, and you're doing it like this now, are you still making people live? I can't get out of the nest every day. "If there's a brick next to it, I'd like to shoot myself to death." ”
Xiangxiang cried and complained, and the quarrel in the house alarmed the girl in the yard.
The girl heard her mother's cry and ran to wipe her tears.
Xiangxiang, who collapsed, pointed to the old father and said to his daughter:
"In the future, if I want to be like your grandfather, you will find a way to kill me. Don't let me be like him, you know? ”
Who wouldn't want to live with dignity if they could?
Looking at the old father's confused appearance, I really want to ignore him ruthlessly.
But Xiangxiang can't do it, really can't ignore him.
Angry is angry, and my father still has to take care of it.
Wiping away her tears, Xiangxiang gave her old father clean clothes again.
Hold the clothes and pants and bed sheets dyed with feces to wash.
How can there be any quiet years, but someone is carrying the weight for you
In the past, it was our parents who carried us on our backs, but now we carry him.
It is said that it is difficult to pretend to be a filial son in front of the bed for a long time
But there are still some people who block the wind and rain of life, just to be a safe haven for parents.
In the documentary "The World", there is such a father and son.
The old man, a first-generation oil worker, was diagnosed with cerebrovascular cognitive impairment at the age of 73, often crying and hitting people.
At the beginning, his son Fu Gang and his mother took turns taking care of the elderly.
But after a long time, his mother also fell, and the care and responsibility could only be handed over to Fu Gang himself.
A sick old man always has a time when he is emotionally unstable.
As long as he doesn't see his son, he will slap the bed and yell, and when his temper comes up, he will pay a few slaps.
As netizens said, taking care of the elderly and taking care of children are two concepts.
Children are small and don't toss desperately, and the more they take care of them, the more hopeful they are.
The elderly scream and beat people, and even feces and urine, and the more they take care of them, the more they collapse.
What's worse is that Fu Gang has to take care of such a day for at least 10 years.
When he heard that it would take so long, Fu Gang's heart was also cold.
But even so, Fu Gang never planned to give up being a filial son, he said
It's hard to pretend to be a filial son, and it's not easy to pretend for two months. I have to pretend to be 10 years, and yesterday I said that my heart was so cold. That's got to be pretended. ”
When people reach middle age, life is like a candle burning at both ends.
Under the pressure of work, we must also resist the pressure of "old and young".
In the career, facing greater competition and challenges, if you don't pay attention to it, you will become an eliminator in the workplace.
At home, you have to take care of not only the mortgage, but also the elderly and children, as well as handling various household chores.
Once the elderly in the family are sick, how to balance career, family, parents, children, and self?
47-year-old Fu Gang, like Xiangxiang in Henan, gives up his career and takes care of his paralyzed father for a long time, which is tantamount to drying up and fishing.
Unless there is an endless mountain of gold and silver, the future family's life is in the **?
As far as Fu Gang himself is concerned, he takes care of his father day and night, and his body is almost unable to hold on.
If he fell like his mother, who would be able to take care of his father?
The latest statistics show that by the end of 2023, China's population aged 60 and above has exceeded 2900 million people. Among them, the number of disabled elderly people is about 44 million. Behind the 44 million families, there are thousands of children who are struggling endlesslyXiangxiang, like Fu Gang, went through the same experience.
But unlike Xiangxiang and Fu Gang's personal filial son, some netizens said that they were the unfilial daughter!
The old father of the family suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, was hospitalized for a month, and did it for another three months**, and walked well with crutches, but recently found that he was walking worse and worse, and he fell lightly, so he kicked and kicked his feet to increase the strength of his leg muscles. I tried everything I could, but he just couldn't move, he either peed his pants almost every day, or pulled his pants, and he was really going crazy. ”
In fact, it's not that I don't want to be filial, it's just that filial piety can't move.
It's not that he doesn't want to be a filial child, but as long as he has the ability, he is still willing to be a good child and is willing to serve you at the bedside every day.
In the past, we always said that raising children to prevent old age, because in the past, several children supported their parents together.
When the elderly are sick, several children's families take turns to take care of them, which will not affect their livelihood, and the cost of providing for the elderly borne by the children is relatively low.
Nowadays, most family models are one-to-two, and the only child bears the problem of providing for the elderly, whether from the perspective of economy and time, the cost of pension is too great.
As children reach middle age, they need to work hard for the financial stability of their families, while also taking care of their parents who have lost their ability to take care of themselves.
The child who spends a lot of money to raise is actually an ordinary person with limited ability and limited energy.
So, how should we deal with our own pension problems in the future?
Make a budget plan: Creating a budget plan and planning your monthly expenses can ensure that your financial situation is stable. When creating a budget, you need to take into account daily expenses, healthcare costs, emergency reserves, etc.
Saving and investing: Saving and investing are an important part of retirement preparation. By saving and investing, you can accumulate enough money to meet future economic needs. It is recommended to choose low-risk, stable investment methods, such as fixed deposits, bonds, etc.
Health management: Maintaining good health is fundamental to enjoying old age. Through a reasonable diet, moderate exercise, regular physical examinations, etc., you can maintain good health and reduce the occurrence of diseases.
Social activities: Maintaining good contact and communication with family and friends can make people feel warmer and happier. Participating in social activities can enrich one's life and increase happiness and satisfaction.
Receiving elderly care services: As you get older, you may need to receive some elderly care services, such as day care, home care, etc. By understanding local senior care policies and service providers, you can provide better care and support for yourself and your family.
People grow old, this is the inevitable process of life. Everyone can't resist the erosion of time, and everyone wants to finish life gracefully and decily, so while you are still old, please plan and prepare for your life as soon as possible. 