I read a book before, and there is such a sentence: The rest of your life is very expensive, and it hurts you a lot! From birth to the end of our lives, we all go through a lot of unforgettable and involuntary experiences. Since the age of 50, I suddenly realized that those excellent women around me who can dominate themselves will not pay too much attention to the "two things", which is also the beginning of their good life.
1. Don't pay too much attention to your husband.
What I'm saying here is not to pay too much attention to my husband, not to mean that I don't care about my husband's life. It's about changing the way you lived before. In the past, most women's energy would be focused on their husbands and children, so they neglected themselves.
My eldest sister is 56 years old this year, a standard good wife and mother, she takes good care of her husband, and she has never let her husband cook in her life. My husband's task is to go to work, get off work, and rest. And the tasks of the eldest sister are to go to work, get off work, buy groceries, cook, and do housework. Every weekend off, the eldest sister is more tired than going to work. And the brother-in-law seems to accept the care of the eldest sister as a matter of course. Even when he is off duty, he is lying on the sofa playing with his mobile phone, and he rarely does housework. My eldest sister is a typical person who pays too much attention to her husband, and all her life revolves around her husband and family, thus losing her own life and her own emotions.
On the contrary, look at my second sister, in my opinion, she is a woman who can go up to the hall and down to the kitchen, and she is also a person that we admire very much. She and her brother-in-law have a clear division of labor in their lives, and both have jobs. The second sister will leave a little later in the morning, so shopping for groceries is the task of the second sister. In the evening, my brother-in-law came back a little earlier, and my brother-in-law made dinner every day. And every time he finishes cooking, one of my brother-in-law's biggest advantages is that he will clean the kitchen. Every weekend, the second sister would go to the supermarket with her brother-in-law to shop, either go back to visit her parents, or go out to the mall. Mop the floor at home, clean up the housework, and when the second sister does it, she will call her brother-in-law. Anyway, I just don't let my brother-in-law be idle. The second sister said: Men can't get used to it, and getting used to it has become a habit, and they can't change it if they want to.
Through my eldest sister and second sister, it is not difficult for us to see whether the second sister is more comfortable, and the eldest sister is a little too tired. Two stark contrasts that you can appreciate.
2. Don't be too critical of yourself.
Most women spend money lavishly before they get married, but after getting married and having children, some women, especially women, face a lot of family pressure after the age of 45, and they live very frugally. Compare and contrast clothes again and again**, if you can buy cheap online, you will never go to a physical store. You won't feel distressed about how much money you spend on your family, husband, or children, but as soon as you want to buy yourself a piece of clothing or a bottle of cosmetics, you start to calculate. In fact, such a woman is very tired and humble. There is a high probability that such a woman has no status in the family.
I have a neighbor downstairs who is in this state, both of them have jobs, and my husband also likes to play mahjong and buy lottery tickets, with a salary of 6000 a month. It seems that a month's salary is given to my wife, but today it will cost 200, and tomorrow it will cost 300. After a month, I heard from my neighbors that it was better not to give her a salary, and sometimes I had to post it upside down to her husband. I am reluctant to eat and wear on weekdays, and I am reluctant to buy myself a piece of clothing for a year. The son is in the third year, as long as the child sends WeChat and asks for money, he will give as much as he wants.
I don't think it's advisable to do things the way my neighbors do. Lack of moderation and arbitrary indulgence with your husband and children is irresponsible to the whole family. Being stingy with oneself is also a manifestation of self-abuse.
Women have a pivotal position in a person's family, and if you learn to love yourself, others will love you more. Don't sacrifice your own happiness in exchange for a little praise from others, it's actually stupid and undesirable to do so. Only by being self-reliant and self-reliant, and grasping your own life, will you have a good life, right?