Chapter II
Before you say what you think, adding a preface that cares about the other person can instantly change the impression of others. Not only will you not be disgusted, but you will also be respected and think that you are "empathetic" and "very humble", and you are more able to achieve your goals.
1."Polite and considerate" is expressed first, and it is most effective to ask others to do things.
The supervisor asks you to help with the photocopying, and says to you, "Go and photocopy!" Or, "Excuse me, you're busy?" But I'll have to take a photocopy. Which of these two sounds more pleasant?
Many people will choose the latter! The reason is in the latter sentence, which is worried about the mood of subordinates being asked to do things temporarily. If you don't care about the feelings of your subordinates, you won't be able to say something like "I'm sorry you're busy."
Before you say what you think, adding a preface that cares about the other person can instantly change the impression of others. Not only will you not be disgusted, but you will also be respected and think that you are "empathetic" and "very humble", and you are more able to achieve your goals.
Capable people, successful people, all take the preface of caring for others as a mantra. Here are a few words for you
Say what's going on: Please:
Invite: Declined:
Questioning: Explanation, Reflection:
Reminders, advice:
Request to teach: keypoint
Adding a considerate preface to the beginning of a conversation is more likely to be respected and helped.
2.Let's talk about the conclusion first, and others will listen to you.
Talking energetically all the time" and "not seeing the conclusion and dragging the muddy conversation" are completely different things. Especially in the workplace, if you say too much, the other party is easily irritable.
Stressful way of speaking.
When the other person says, "Can you tell me the conclusion first?" "What the hell are you trying to say?" "What do you mean by that? When you hear these words, you have to pay special attention, others may already be impatient with you.
Junior: "Do you have an iPad?" ”
Senpai: "No, do you have one?" ”
Junior: "Yes, I usually carry it." ”
Senpai: "Oh, it's very heavy and hard, isn't it?" ”
Junior: "But it's useful to carry it, and it came in handy yesterday at the customer's place." ”
Senpai: "Huh? Do you use it for notes? ”
Junior: "No, that's not the case. It is to let customers take a look at our company's website. ”
Senior: "Now that we have prepared the materials, do we still need to deliberately let the other party see our website?" ”
Junior: "Yes, because there are product-related animations on the page. ”
Senpai: "Oh, anime......That's ......Do you bring your iPad to the other side? ”
Junior: "Yes. ”
At this time, the senior couldn't help but think: "Why is it ...... again."What the hell is this guy trying to say? It's annoying! ”
The younger generation likes to pretend, and the inconclusive speech makes people feel anxious, although there is nothing to talk about, but they still have to keep throwing questions to continue the topic. Every time I talk to this kind of junior, it will make the seniors feel pressure in their hearts.
Simple and straightforward speaking process.
It is necessary to speak concisely according to the flow of "conclusion, reason, concrete example, conclusion, and vision" so as not to offend the other party. If the juniors can tell the conclusion first, as in the following example sentences, it will be easier for the seniors to answer.
Junior: "Bring the ipad to the customer, and the business will be closed quickly!" ”
Senpai: "Ah, is that so?" Why can I close a deal quickly with an iPad? ”
Junior: "Because you can show the other party our company's website on the spot." ”
Senior: "Looking at the webpage? ”
Junior: "Yes, especially the product animation. Yesterday I showed my customers an animation of the product on the company's website, and they were raving about it: 'Ah, that's awesome!' I signed the contract on the spot. ”
Senpai: "Oh, that's amazing. Am I going to buy an iPad too? ”
Junior: "You don't have to rely on an iPad to get a contract." You're a great senior businessman, or the number one in the industry, right? ”
When speaking, as long as you follow the above rules, not only will you improve your way of talking, but the other party will also want to listen to you.
This order is a common presentation structure for articles, reports, etc., and it is also a more acceptable and structured way of conversation for business people.
If you use the "start and conclude first" development method, not only will the other party be interested, but the topic will continue later. And at the end, add a long-term description to give the other party a space to imagine the future, so that people have a higher probability of acting according to your heart. As long as you keep this process in mind, your persuasiveness and impact will be greatly enhanced.
keypoint
In business, people like to hear the conclusion first.
3.Mastering "1T3S" is attractive no matter how you speak.
Generally speaking, we don't wear suits to pitch tents in the field, and we rarely wear T-shirts to our bosses' wedding ceremonies. The same is true in conversation, where it is important to distinguish between t and t.
(Tips: The full text ** can be read by clicking on the card at the end of the article).
For example, when you go to a communication party from all walks of life, surrounded by people who are meeting for the first time, don't rashly say vulgar jokes. Or the other party said to you with a serious face: "Actually, my wife's physical condition was not very good a week ago......If you reply: "I mentioned this, my previous wife also passed away due to illness." "It's going to be freezing right now.
There are also people who often regard "distinguishing the status of TPO" as a "multi-faceted" communication skill, which is actually incorrect. To be precise, it is "to see the occasion clearly and not to do anything that is rude to people". Once someone thinks you're a "rude guy who doesn't look at the occasion," it becomes extremely difficult to continue the conversation.
In the dialogue, I named the timing "1t3s".
t: Whether the timing of the speech is appropriate The time of day, season, and appropriate topic.
S: When you talk When you have a casual conversation with your partner, when you are working, when you are commuting.
S: What is the position of the other party Supervisors, subordinates, relatives and friends, couples, people who meet for the first time.
S: What kind of mood is the other person angry, happy, and annoyed?
Considering the above points, adjusting your attitude, choice of words, intonation, and expressions, and then echoing, choosing topics, asking questions, etc., are very important skills in chatting.
keypoint
Pay attention to "1t3s" to make your speech exude a mature and mellow charm.
4.How to find a topic for the first meeting? "Business cards" have the best clues.
When you get a business card at a party or industry exchange meeting, do you accept it without reading it carefully?
There are a lot of the best small talk topics in business cards that you shouldn't miss.
How do you pronounce the word 'Tong'? ”
Pronounce it 't5ng'. ”
Oh, that's a rarity. ”
Well, no one has ever read it right the first time. ”
Do many people in your hometown have this surname? ”
Well, there seem to be about fifty people on our side who have this surname. ”
The most conspicuous thing on a business card is the "name". Therefore, when you find something special and strange, you can actively use it as a topic to talk about - such as "this name is very masculine" and "this name is very auspicious".
If it's a company name, ask, "Does it make sense to take this company name?" "Hey, this company has a special name! Then you can ask about the company's business and history, or ask from the company's address, "Where is the nearest station to the company?" If the other party's position also has bright spots, you can also praise the other party a few words: "It's amazing to become a commissioner at a young age!" ”
Recently, the company's business card has been more and more careful - for example, adding "company slogan", "Facebook account", "company performance", etc., or adding personal information such as "I live in Yokohama with my wife, who is two years younger than me, and I also have a Maltese, and my personal interest is diving", and the business card can also be used as a ticket or a point card to accumulate points.
We don't know much about the other person when we first meet, so we need to actively and carefully look for topics to talk about in his business card; You can also prepare a unique personal business card and put some effort to print information such as work results and personal interests. In this way, you can successfully arouse the interest of others even if you don't specifically provide them with a topic. If you feel like you're afraid of being good at talking, put more thought into your business card. It is also a useful technique when chatting with people.
keypoint
If you look closely at the entire content of your business card, the information you get from it is the topic of conversation with people.
5.Meet with important people and gather information in advance to determine success or failure.
When I meet someone important for the first time, I always think in my heart, "I must get along with this person" and "I hope to have a long-term relationship".
Then you need to do your research about the other person as much as possible, and then apply that information to the conversation. The main purpose is to "effectively ask the right questions in a limited amount of time", but in addition to this, there is also an important purpose: to open the hearts of the other person.
Because people will open their hearts to "those who know themselves". I'm too, and people who meet me for the first time say to me, "I know something about you through Facebook, and your daughter seems to be a student." I was surprised to hear this, and I was glad that the other person noticed even such subtleties, and I would indeed be more receptive to people who paid attention to me.
Whether it's the other person's qualifications, occupation, family composition, interests, ideas, etc., the more information you collect, the better. For example, when I interview candidates, I always check their background information first, even if it is not directly related to the job, I try to find out as much as possible.
For example, if you want to open the other person's indifferent heart, you can tell him based on the information from the previous investigation: "You like puppies, right?" Your Pomeranian seems to be called Xiaolan? Then he added, "I love puppies, too.......""Eliminate the estrangement with the other party bit by bit.
Then there's "how to gather information". If there is a third party who knows the person you want to meet, you can ask him first: "What kind of person is he who you are going to meet with this time?" There is also his profile on social ** such as blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc., or look at his latest news posted on the Internet, you can effectively grasp the recent situation of the other party.
If you are meeting with a client, you can find out what the other party wants to get and what kind of proposal they don't want, so that you can not only make suggestions that the other party likes, but also make the communication process smoother. If you want to be a successful business person, this is a skill that you need to learn.
keypoint
If you investigate the other person's affairs beforehand, you will be able to confidently face the person you meet for the first time.
6."20 seconds to decide the winner", superb communication skills.
Hello there. I'm Saito from a travel agent, and I've received an application from your mobile phone, and the ticket will be sent to your company. When the work is so busy, the other party didn't even say the apology of "I took the liberty of calling you", and I talked about some business things, maybe when I received this call, I would have the idea of dropping the phone, and I couldn't help thinking: "I'm busy, don't give me this useless **." ”
Why is it irritating to receive this kind of **? Because the other party didn't first ask whether it was convenient for the person to speak at the moment, he just blindly talked about his own business, and didn't think about the person on the other end of the **.
It can be seen from this that if you want to call the other party, you need to consider the "other party's position" and talk politely and thoughtfully.
*The inability to see each other's expressions is a very difficult way to communicate compared to talking in person. After understanding this, you should pay attention to the tone and tone of the other party during the call to win his trust. Especially the first 20 seconds are important. I often need to interview the other party through ** at work, and whether I can make a good impression in the first 20 seconds can almost be said to be the key to determining whether the other party is willing to let me interview. If he can't use this time to get the other party to take his guard off, he is likely to refuse to be interviewed outright. Even if they reluctantly agreed, most of them were reluctant to say what they really thought in their hearts, which made the interview difficult.
If you want to make a good impression on the other party in the first 20 seconds of the speech, I have sorted out the following four main points and provided relevant example sentences that can be learned-
When you suddenly call the other person, you must apologize "I'm sorry to bother you. ”
Self-report your name and state who you are "I'm so-and-so from the company. ”
Directly convey the important things "For the luncheon meeting next week, call you." ”
Ask the person if he can go on and say, "Does it take up 5 minutes of your time?" ”
Speaking in this way can make people feel that you are extremely sincere. If the other person replies "I'm busy right now", then it doesn't hurt to redial ** after a while. If you just go at your own pace and only say what you want to say, be careful! Ten of the ** will make the other person feel intimidated!
Speaking in ** must be more polite than usual.
7.I inflect "definitely......"Sentence structure, opinions are the most acceptable.
When people "strongly assert their opinions" or "put forward opposing opinions", not only do they eventually evolve into forcing others to accept them, but the way they look at them and the tone of their words will also take on a condescending appearance.
But the more you try to stand your ground, the more you have to calm down. A high-pressure attitude is easy to arouse the other person's disgust, and the more difficult it is to achieve your goals.
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