Chapter 2 Introduction: A Grassroots Woman's Turnaround Reference
I was born in rural Anhui, graduated from a secondary school, and struggled in the gutter of life for a long time. Many people want to know how I climbed up step by step and grew into such a healthy and happy middle-aged person who is still excellent today. Next, I will talk to you about some backgrounds, key node choices, and some insights that determine the direction of my destiny in the process of my growth for your reference.
The first point is to live independently, which is the most crucial first step in determining the direction of my life.
I left home at the age of 16 to go to Hefei, the capital of Anhui Province, to study secondary school, and when I finished the secondary school, I was 19 years old and went to Shanghai to work alone. For almost 10 years, I lived on my own. Living independently is the first step towards financial independence, spiritual independence, and you have to face and solve most of life's problems alone. In the process, the personality grows at an astonishing rate. The tragedy of the vast majority of adults is, in the final analysis, caused by the lack of independence in life, economy, and spirit. Many parents do not cultivate their children's sense of independence from an early age, and regard their children's lack of independence as their own needs and love, and are proud of it, resulting in children who need to be fed at the age of 5 and sleep in a room with their parents at the age of 8. Some mothers always complain that their husbands don't do housework, but they never develop their children's ability to handle personal affairs and prevent him from taking on some of the housework responsibilities as a family member. When the child grows up, he becomes a "giant baby" who has no responsibility and is irresponsible, and then goes to pit another girl, pulls his partner into the pit, and lives a vicious circle of chicken feathers, so from generation to generation.
The second point is to be brave enough to leave the wrong people, which is especially important for young girls.
I had a boyfriend when I was 22 years old. When a woman is fragile and helpless, the first thing she thinks of is to find a man as a so-called backer, whether it is financially or spiritually. Many women enter the quagmire of marriage at a young age, basically out of young and ignorant choices. My boyfriend and I also reached the point of talking about marriage for a while, and then once because of a very small matter, he started to beat me. Of course, we usually have many other contradictions, but I deceived myself and chose to ignore them. But the day he hit me for the first time, I didn't know the courage to come, so I packed my luggage and left that night, sitting in a taxi crying all the way, and went to a friend's house to stay temporarily. Although I was reluctant to spend time together, I vaguely knew that I had made the right decision, and a voice in my heart told me: "Never be with a man who does something with you." "As it turned out, I was right. Later, I congratulated myself countless times on the courage to take this step, thinking about it, I am a little afraid, if I marry this person at the age of 22, get married and have children, what will my fate be? What is certain is that I will never meet Peter's near-perfect husband, someone I can't get enough of in 13 years.
Male or female, being brave enough to leave the wrong person and be brave enough to end a bad relationship is very important for your life. Wrong relationships will only drain your mind, overdraw your life, and make you spend all the time you could have spent studying, working, and improving the quality of your life to create pain and torment with each other.
The third point is to have the courage to persevere.
My first job in Shanghai was selling socks on the streets. Every day the leader gave us a pack of socks, and I still remember the brand as "Mona". We go to residential buildings, office buildings, shopping malls and other places to sell, a pair of 15 yuan, sell a pair to earn 3 yuan. Although I only did this job for more than 3 months, it had a huge impact on my life after that. The vast majority of people you meet throughout the day will reject you and sometimes be ridiculed or chased away by security. From the beginning of the fear, I didn't have the courage to come forward to say hello, I felt particularly embarrassed, and then I rushed up to talk about the target when I saw it, and after being rejected, I quickly packed up and said goodbye with a smile, just thinking that this person can't do it, don't waste time, and hurry up to find the next target ......This experience has made my heart extremely strong, and it is inseparable from the fact that I can persist in entrepreneurship now. It made me understand a truth: don't care what others think of you, face and self-esteem are meaningless, living and earning money are the most important things. Here "money" is the embodiment of value, when you have indomitable courage in the face of setbacks, can continue to challenge yourself, and realize self-worth, then money is a natural accessory of value.
Therefore, it is especially important for young people who are new to school to keep trying, fighting, challenging themselves, and getting used to being rejected. From the moment you step into society, the horn of life is sounded, and you must fight for it relentlessly, discover your self-worth, and strive for the life you want.
Fourth, live in the moment and do what is in front of you.
In the first few years of my arrival in Shanghai, I was so poor that all I could think about was how I could make more money. When I was working as a waiter in a tea shop, I found that I could earn a few hundred yuan more by being a waiter at the bar, so I spent a few days copying all the names of the drinks at the bar and memorizing them, and took the initiative to work the night shift to help at the bar, and I learned all the work of the bar in less than a week. Later, I went to a Taiwanese women's beauty center to work as a bar waiter, and found that the girl in the next department who did foot massage could earn more than 3,000 yuan a month, and sometimes she could get tips, so I begged her to teach me massage skills, and went back to practice my friend's feet, so I learned foot massage. But I didn't do it in the end, because I found out that the Japanese restaurant next door was recruiting waiters, and the salary was 3,000 yuan, and there was food and lodging, so I went there. Later, I wanted to have more job opportunities and earn a little more money, so I learned Japanese again, and my monthly income increased by several hundred yuan.
For a long time, I was like an earthworm, arching forward and crawling forward in the darkness, constantly looking for light, looking for better opportunities, even if it was just a little better. I never had any lofty ideals, and I rarely worried about the future, thinking only about how to solve the problems in front of me and how to make a few hundred more dollars in the next month. Many people are anxious about the future all day long, but they don't realize that the future is composed of countless todays and countless presents.
The sooner young people give up the idea of getting rich overnight and taking shortcuts, and the sooner they realize that only by giving and accumulating bit by bit with their own hands can they exchange for the future and alleviate the difficulties of life, and the shorter the journey to climb out of the mud puddle. Laziness makes people want to take shortcuts, and those thoughts of quick success will only disrupt your judgment, make you fall into one pit after another, and pay a heavy price one after another.
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Even if you are in the trough and darkness, you still have to keep your heart clear, work steadfastly, solve the problems in front of you, and keep upgrading and optimizing yourself, even if you only make a little progress each time.
Fifth, know what is most important to you, learn to be content and grateful.
When I was 24 years old, I had my first episode of thrombocytopenic purpura, and the doctor had already issued me a critical illness notice. I stayed in the hematology department of Shanghai Sixth People's Hospital for about two weeks, my bed was No. 16, and bed No. 14 was occupied by an aunt who had not been out of bed for more than ten years. I have forgotten what kind of blood disease caused her paralysis, but I remember that she laughed and told me that she hadn't worn shoes in more than ten years. That was the first time in my life that I realized that walking in shoes was a luxury for some people......Because I was in the hematology department, I also met several children with leukemia, and a teacher who came for chemotherapy in the morning and rushed back to school at noon.
On the day I was discharged from the hospital, I had a deep feeling about life for the first time. I stood on Yishan Road for a long time, and for the first time I found that the trees were so green, and the sky was so blue, and then I looked at myself standing on the ground with my shoes on, and I felt "Oh, I'm really happy!" This sense of well-being continues to this day. Even though my life later in life was very difficult, I am still very grateful. To this day, I still often feel trepidation and feel that I am so capable of having so much. Although Peter and I are 38 years old and 43 years old, and we don't have a car or a house, we know that as healthy people with hands and feet, ears and eyes, it is already a luxury for many people to have each other and the life we have today.
In this life, you should hold a grateful and self-sufficient heart, cherish what you have, understand what is most important to you and what is not important at all, and then focus on discovering your personal value and pursuing your dreams. Measure success by the happiness and happiness that arises in your heart, instead of being entangled and troubled by things outside your body, and then you will find that your life is transparent and your life has infinite possibilities.
Sixth, be curious about life and keep a strong desire to learn.
My fate changed substantially after learning Japanese. No matter how much ideological construction is done, if it cannot be put into action, it is just a fantasy, and only action can bring about change. I learned Japanese when I started working at a Japanese restaurant, because I found that the manager and the maître d'act were very good at Japanese. At that time, I didn't know what "realizing the value of life, knowledge changes destiny, and knowledge can be exchanged for wealth", but I simply knew that learning Japanese would give me more job opportunities and earn a few hundred yuan more. Although the purpose is simple, it will be very helpful for me later in life. After I got the first level of Japanese, I went to work as a general manager for a Japanese company, which was actually a chore, but I finally went from being a waiter to sitting in an office, and my life opened a new chapter from here.
I've always been very curious since I was a child, and there is a bird's nest in the tree, and I must climb up to see itWhere there's a crowd, I'm going to have to go in and see what they're doingI also like to watch suspense reasoning **. This curiosity has been very helpful for my growth, and it has always driven me to explore the unknown, absorb new knowledge, and try new experiences. Although it is a bit ironic to say this, I am a person who does not go to school much, but I actually realize the ideal of education - independent education and independent learning. Also because of curiosity, one day in 2007, I heard that there is a skype software, so I registered an account, but I didn't expect to get the biggest reward that life gave me, and met the love of my life, my soul mate, my lover Peter.
I hope you will always have curiosity and enthusiasm for life, like a sponge, you will continue to absorb new knowledge, experience new things, accept new ideas, face the world with an open mind, and use actions to toss and realize the ideas accumulated in your head, so as to speed up the metabolism of your life. In the process, you will gradually become stronger, confident, and determined. Once you experience the joy of change and progress, you don't stop, because the joy of progress is the top joy, the climax released by the brain.
You have the power to change your life by working hard bit by bit. There is nothing in the world that is more uplifting and secure than believing that you have the power to change.
Seventh, be a kind person.
No matter how the people around you or the Internet ** instill in you the so-called "how to not suffer" and "smart people should do this", and tell you how much "thick black science" comes from their own life experience, you must know that it is their own life experience. If you look closely, you will find that most of the people who believe in this set are people at the bottom of society, and they themselves have not lived a good life. If you want life to bear a lot of good fruit, then kindness is the most fertile soil.
Of course, there are bound to be some people who live up to your kindness in the process of growing up, and all you have to do is to remove them from your life and don't let them change you. No matter what pain you are going through, what forks or bends you are on, as long as you are a kind person, kindness will be like a guiding light that will never go out, warming you, giving you strength, bringing you to the same kind of people, so that you will eventually be surrounded by warm people. It may not give you the kind of benefits you want for a short time, but it can always stop you from getting worse and falling deeper into a deeper mud pit.
No matter what you face in life, you have to firmly believe that you have the power to change, that you have a choice, and that life is not as bad as you think. Believe me.
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