In fact, people spend their whole lives doing hurdle sports non-stop.
Some people are in a strong posture and are far ahead; Someone staggered and dumbfounded.
When he was young and vigorous, he often refused to admit defeat and rushed forward with a reckless energy;
Halfway through the journey, I suddenly realized that what really opened up the distance between people was a deeper level of cognition.
Share 4 psychological effects to help you expand your cognition, change your thinking, and cross every hurdle in life.
The Franklin Effect
Knowing how to trouble others is a kind of high emotional intelligence
In life, many people are used to taking on everything alone when they encounter difficulties.
Originally, I was thinking about others, but as a result, I had less and less contact with my friends.
Never bother others, and in the end you will only let yourself live as an island.
Benjamin Franklin once used "let someone help you" as a political tool
During his tenure in the Pennsylvania Legislature, there was a member of the parliament who was always opposed to his views and was hostile to him.
Everyone thought that in order to win the parliamentarian's support, he would grovel and pay his respects or give some favors.
Unexpectedly, Franklin chose to use "troublesome" methods to win the support and favor of the congressmen.
He knew that the other party had a precious book, so he expressed a request to borrow it.
The councillor lent him the book, and after some time, Franklin returned the book and wrote a thank you note.
When they met again, the congressman began to talk to Franklin, and they became good friends.
Franklin summed up the experience by saying
"The people who have helped you will be more willing to do other things for you than the people you have helped. ”This psychological phenomenon is known as the "Franklin effect".
Everyone has a desire to be needed in their hearts, and once they feel trusted, they will do more to achieve their sense of worth.
As Carnegie wrote in The Weakness of Human Nature:
"If you want a relationship to last, then you have to let someone do something small for you, which will make someone else feel present and important. ”Good interpersonal communication starts with helping each other. There is no need to feel ashamed of bothering others, and only by bothering each other can we have a chance to get closer to each other and build a good relationship.
People who run a lot must have had this experience:
If you run every day, it will be easier to run;
If you stop running for a few days or weeks and then start running, it will get even tougher.
This is the "flywheel effect":
It takes a lot of effort to get the flywheel spinning at first, but every effort is not in vain.
Once a certain tipping point is reached, the wheels spin easily.
The so-called "those who have been in the air for a long time will fly high", those who have made achievements in a certain field have experienced a long period of accumulation and persistence behind them.
Astronaut Deng Qingming persisted for 25 years and did not realize his "dream of flying" until he was 56 years old.
During this period, he experienced unimaginable hard training and withstood the frustration of losing again and again.
Before becoming the Shenzhou-15 astronauts, only Deng Qingming was "the only one of the first 14 astronauts in China who had not flown a space mission and was still in service".
Haruki Murakami once wrote:
"It's a tough time right now, but maybe it will come to fruition in the future. ”It's true that a lot of things need to be worked on until they reach a tipping point before change happens.
Everyone has a bottleneck period in their lives, and if they give up on themselves, they will leave regrets;
Silently accumulate strength, and when the time comes, you will be able to usher in the dawn.
I often brush up on such news in the circle of friends:
"If you have a daughter, bless your daughter smoothly. ”Many people will follow the post** and write in the comments:With this message, we wish you and your family good health. ”
Today is a good day, and the wealth will roll in. ”
"It's true, I'm much better, I'm solved, I'm really lucky......”Behind these miraculous phenomena is actually the "Rosenthal effect" in psychology
Beliefs give birth to dreams, and expectations turn into results.
It reminds us that many things in life come from what we believe in our hearts.
Actor Zhao Liying once mentioned in "Starry Sky Speech" that she is an actor who grew up in denial.
When she first entered the industry, she could only play supporting roles, and she often heard such voices:
"The round face is not atmospheric, and you can't play the leading role. ”But she firmly believes that the value of an actor should never be defined by the shape of his face.
With such belief, she desperately seized the opportunity to play one role after another, from the small screen to the big screen, and became the heroine of many top productions.
As psychologist Murphy said:
"Each of us is a prophet of our own destiny. ”Believe in happiness, you will have beauty and warmth; Believe in hostility and you will see offense and aggression. Mindset determines the magnetic field, and what you identify will attract the results that match it.
In psychology, the Barnum Effect refers to:
"It is easy for people to believe a general, general description of personality and think that it is particularly suitable for them, revealing exactly what their personality traits are, even if the content is empty. ”This theory is a good explanation for the reason why personality tests on the Internet are more accurate.
If you want to reduce the impact of the Barnum Effect, the most important thing is to learn to recognize yourself.
In life, it is inevitable to hear a lot of evaluations:
If you don't get married when you're old, girls will be "devalued";
In married life, if a woman does not put all her energy into the family, she is not a good wife;
When a person reaches middle age and does not have enough wealth, power and status, he is a "loser".
When looking at oneself with these external evaluations, it is easy to fall into self-doubt and denial.
Instead of looking for yourself in the voice of others, you should turn it into an inward value judgment.
Do not deny yourself because of the eyes of others, nor do you use the comfort of others to soothe yourself.
Recognize your own abilities at work and bravely take the opportunity to take challenges;
Do not be presumptuous in social interactions, and express opinions generously;
Do not feel inferior or please in love, and enjoy the ...... happiness
Accept your shortcomings and do what you love, everyone can become a better version of themselves and deserve a better life.
Realize the Franklin effect, improve the ability to interact with others, and achieve self-interest and altruistic interpersonal relationships;
Realize the flywheel effect, walk through the darkest moments steadfastly, and finally meet the light you expect;
Only by realizing the Rosenthal effect and stabilizing the mentality can we create a positive energy magnetic field and attract beautiful things;
Realize the Barnum effect, not be swayed by the outside world, know yourself fairly, and reap the happiness of the sun.
Give it a thumbs upOnly by building a sound life coordinate with a clear mind can we achieve a full and joyful life.
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