Psychology expert Weinberg believes that a good and lasting marriage requires four "letting gos", which involves the liberation of the desire to control, the moderate regression of self-requirements, the adaptation of the other party, and the adjustment of the attitude of others. He said that this kind of intimacy requires both parties to be able to give up some control over each other in some places, relax self-restraint, and reasonably remove expectations, so as to create a beautiful and harmonious family atmosphere.
Many people in marriage try to impose their own will and expect the other person to act according to their own ideas, but this is actually a violation of the right of others to be independent. Therefore, couples are advised to try to gradually abandon such practices in their usual chores.
In married life, couples should consider and meet each other's needs more, while also respecting and accepting each other's individuality. For couples, if they just want to control each other and satisfy their various desires, it may bring psychological pressure and distress to each other. Therefore, couples should recognize this and take care of each other's emotions and maintain personal space and privacy.
In married life, husband and wife should always reflect on themselves, accept each other's imperfections, and give up the pursuit of perfection appropriately. If you expect the other person to always meet your expectations, it is easy to feel lost or angry when the other person does not do so. This situation will affect the trust and understanding between the two parties. Therefore, couples should recognize this issue at this time and gradually address the relationship between expectation and acceptance in their daily lives.
In a marriage, although both partners expect the other to do better, too much expectation can in turn damage the other person's self-esteem and independence. If couples try to change each other by criticizing, blaming or complaining, it may cause resistance and resentment from the other party. Therefore, although couples should be aware of this at this time, in their daily lives, try not to be too eager to change each other, and should respect the individual's personal space and privacy.
The four "renunciations" mentioned above are necessary steps for a long marriage. Each step requires the couple's efforts and repeated practice in their daily lives. At the same time, it is also a manifestation of respect and trust in the other person. Only in this way can a healthier and more stable marriage relationship be established.