In the past, it was common for newlyweds to huddle in a large courtyard with their in-laws, but now, more and more modern women choose to "have a small family independence" after marriage and no longer eat and live with their in-laws. -- The potential conflict of living with in-laws and the psychology of pursuing freedom.
Why do modern women prefer to live independently after marriage?
First, differences in living habits
Old vs young: From early bird to late sleeping cat, the diet changes from light to heavy, and the pace of life changes from slow to fast. These small differences are like sand in shoes, and after walking for a long time, your feet will hurt.
First of all, when it comes to living habits, the old and the young are really like people from two worlds.
To give a simple example, young people stay up late to watch dramas and stay in bed, while the elderly go to bed early and get up early to exercise in the morning.
Eating is also a big problem, young people may like to order takeout and go to the next restaurant, but the elderly insist on eating at home and eating healthily. These seemingly inconspicuous little things may really become the fuse of family conflicts in the long run.
Second, the conflict of roles
Mother-in-law: The "Lafayette" of the family, who controls the power.
Daughter-in-law: An "independent woman" in the new era, pursuing freedom and equality.
So who is in charge of the ups and downs of this power game?
As the elder in the family, the mother-in-law naturally hopes to have a certain authority and right to speak.
But what about modern daughters-in-law, they are well educated, have their own careers and social circles, and of course want a certain status and freedom in the family. In this way, the power struggle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is inevitable.
Third, the generation gap between the two sides
The generation gap is also a big problem. The way of thinking and values of the old and the young are really much worse.
Sometimes, both sides feel that they are doing the right thing, but the other party just can't understand it.
This communication barrier can really strain family relationships in the long run.
Fourth, the need for personal privacy
In a big family, everyone is a "transparent person".
In modern society, women want to live independently and have their own space.
Today's young people attach great importance to personal privacy and want to have their own little world.
But living with your in-laws means that you have to share your living space, and even your privacy may be violated to a certain extent. This way of life, for many modern women, is really a constraint and depression.
Fifth, economic pressure
In some families, the in-laws may need the financial support of their sons and daughters-in-law to support their old age. In this way, the daughter-in-law may feel that she is taking on an additional financial burden, and the mother-in-law may also feel guilty and inferior as a result. This kind of economic imbalance can easily lead to contradictions and conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.