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When my daughter-in-law gave birth to my son, I, a first-time father, waited outside the door of the delivery room, and I was both nervous and excited at that moment.
Suddenly, the door of the delivery room opened, ** came out with a small baby, I ran over excitedly, stared at the baby for a while, and muttered: "Oh no, why doesn't the baby look like me?" ”
* smiled: "It's bad if you really look like you, this is someone else's baby, and your daughter-in-law is still giving birth in it!" ”
Me: "It's ......It's embarrassing! ”
In the third year of junior high school, I was almost late for school one day, so I hurriedly dressed and wrapped a red scarf and rode away. (I thought to myself: Am I looking good today?) )
When I went to the door of the classroom and found that it was already in class, I made a report, and my classmates turned their faces and laughed when they saw me!
I looked down and saw that I had a pair of red pants around my neck! It's embarrassing!
The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, during the meal, my girlfriend kept praising her mother's cooking skills, and I also smiled and echoed how delicious the dishes were.
Suddenly, my girlfriend said, "Do you know how my mother tied my dad to the house?" ”
Absent-minded, I opened my mouth and said, "Do you use a dog leash?" ”
I ate in the cafeteria, and while eating, I played with my phone. At this time, a beautiful woman who couldn't find an empty table sat across from me, and suddenly, I became nervous, but in order not to lose my temper, I pretended to be calm. I wanted to eat a bite of food elegantly, but when I was excited, I put the phone in my mouth and ......
The male god told a joke, I laughed low, not angry, hilarious, and I had a cold, and I accidentally got a snot bubble when my nose came out! Huang Cancan, miserable.
The key is that the male god said slowly: "Hey, I can also blow bubbles!" ”
I really wanted to find a hole)
I drank too much that night, and I went to the bathing center with my friend to take a bath, and my friend wanted to take a bath, but I didn't find a bathing master. He shouted at the top of his voice: "Is there any rubbing bath?" Do you have a scrub? ”
Suddenly, an uncle in the pool replied, "Young man, rub it for me." ”
At that time, my friend was embarrassed and quickly replied: "I'm not a bath master!" ”
As soon as I went to work in the morning, I greeted everyone one by one, and suddenly a leader: Did you weigh yourself today?
I asked curiously: No, what's wrong?
Leader: You must have weighed a lot today?
The leader covered his nose.
Afterwards, my colleague said: You have a lot of heavier tastes today.
At that time, I covered my mouth with my hand, and I smelled it myself, and it really smelled! ）
I had a toothache for a few days, but today I mustered up the courage to go to the doctor, and when I arrived at the clinic, I said to the doctor: "Hello, doctor, I have a toothache for a week, it is so painful!" ”
The doctor pointed at me and said, "You, you, why did you delay until this time to ask?" ”
I hurriedly asked the doctor, "Ah, what, is there no help?" ”
The doctor said unhurriedly, "No, I'm going to get off work at this point." ”
Just now, just now! Pick up the express, because it is a small piece, the courier buddy looked for a long time and did not find my package, so he turned to me and asked: "What are you?" ”
I paused for 3 seconds and said, "I'm a human ......."Can you see it? ”
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