Distance produces beauty, and this distance is actually the border, if the boundary is clear, it will inevitably reduce a lot of trouble, and it can also make people live better.
You should remember this scene in the TV series "Thirty Only".
That is, Lin Youyou, who had known each other for a short time, bought an ice cream, she took a bite of it herself, thought it was delicious, and immediately gave the ice cream to Xu Huanshan to eat.
And Xu Huanshan really ate it, but did not refuse.
He really didn't know that such an action shouldn't be?
Or, is he really not aware of the actions that can only be done with a close lover?
In fact, he was playing with fire.
also because he crossed the border and ate ice cream that he shouldn't have eaten, so that Lin Youyou had an inch in the inch, so he lost his home.
Having lost the dignity it deserves, it will be difficult for the rest of the day.
If you want to live a good life, don't follow in the footsteps of the Phantom Mountain, and regret it when the time comes.
In fact, if you want to have a happy marriage, as long as you keep an appropriate distance in these three aspects, you can live a happy life.
Between the opposite sex, between husband and wife, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
01 Between the opposite sex
Everyone knows that love is exclusive.
If I love me, I can't get very close to other people of the opposite sex.
In the same way, if he loves you, he will also keep his distance from other members of the opposite sex.
He will give you love and tell you anything, not other people of the opposite sex, and he will not give it to others.
He will have a strong sense of proportion, he knows that you are a wife, a family member, and the rest of the opposite sex are outsiders.
And not stupid.
If he doesn't have this awareness, or even if this consciousness is weak.
For example, he often chats with the opposite sex, sends female colleagues home, tells his feelings to other members of the opposite sex without sharing them with you, and often makes appointments with other members of the opposite sex, watches movies, etc.
Slowly the feelings in you are slowly transferred to other members of the opposite sex, which leads to separation from you.
In the end, it was out of control.
02. Between husband and wife
Most of us have the idea that husband and wife are one, what is yours is mine, and what is mine is yours.
I feel that if there is a boundary, I will be careful about whether it will be divided.
In fact, husband and wife are also two individuals, and between individuals, keeping a proper distance will also reduce a lot of incidents.
For example, you think that they are both husband and wife, who does the housework is not done, and who holds the money is not the one who holds it.
But what happens if he always does housework and always gives you money, and you take it for granted and don't feel grateful?
The other party will feel unbalanced, and over time, there will be resentment and grievances.
In the end, it was a lot of trouble.
And if there is a sense of proportion, he did it, and you are grateful, he will know that you have him in your heart, so that he has a sense of accomplishment and worth.
Again, if you feel that he is doing more in this area, you can do more on the other side and try to maintain balance.
Even if there is a deviation, you can let him know that you can see it, you know what he is doing, and it is okay to do the same.
I'm afraid that you always feel that you deserve it, so you will break the balance, and then there will be constant disputes.
3. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
After her son gets married, her mother-in-law will consciously fade out of her son's sight.
You have to understand that you are the mistress of your family, and your daughter-in-law is the mistress of their small family.
It's not good to cross the line, if so, there will be family harmony and peace of mind.
If my mother-in-law thinks that even if my son is married, he is still a child, and I still think about you for him and manage their small family for him, you are very wrong.
Don't misalign, have a sense of boundaries.
Even if you really don't do a good job as a daughter-in-law, you try not to interfere.
Or you can talk to her, but whether you listen or not, that's their business.
You always have to understand that you are the mistress of your own home, and your daughter-in-law is the mistress of their small home.
You can have the final say in your family, but in their small family, how you want to live, then let your daughter-in-law have the final say.
Recognize the reality and maintain appropriate boundaries, so that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be harmonious, and there will be a lot less disputes in the family, and your son will be much easier.
Otherwise, it is indispensable for the son to suffer from splinting.
Are you willing to let your son splint gas?
No way. If you don't want to, keep the proper boundaries.
In marriage, if the above three relationships do not have a sense of proportion in place, problems are likely to occur.
If there is a problem in these three areas and it is not solved in time, it will consume the energy of intimacy.
At worst, there are frequent conflicts between husband and wife, family conflicts are constant, and they can't feel loved and loved by each other, and they will be dissatisfied with their marriage.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are fighting, the husband and wife are full of contradictions, running away from home, cold violence, cheating, and even divorce are all possible.
Therefore, whether it is with other members of the opposite sex, husband and wife, or mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is best to have clear boundaries, which is the key to a happy marriage.
If there are no clear boundaries in these relationships, there will inevitably be a lot of unexpected contradictions, and it will not be so easy to deal with them when the time comes.