When you walk down a busy street, you may smile and greet strangers passing by and nod your head.
But when he returned home and faced his blood relatives, he felt like a completely different person. His attitude towards his family is cold, critical, and harsh.
1.Social expectations and role-playing.
In social situations, we always play different roles.
At work, you are an employee, a colleague, and a leader.
On the outside, you are friends and strangers.
These roles have specific societal expectations and norms of behavior.
In order to conform to these expectations and norms, we often deliberately hide our true feelings and thoughts in order to present our social selves.
This self is groomed and packaged in order to maintain a decent image in front of outsiders.
The Ambiguity of Family Roles However, in the relatively intimate space of the family, our role positioning becomes blurred.
We are the children of our parents and the parents of our children.
We are brothers, sisters and partners.
There are no clear boundaries or norms of behavior between these roles, so we behave more casually and groundedly in the family.
However, it also means that we are more likely to vent the stress and emotions we experience outdoors in the form of tantrums, picky eaters, etc.
The double-edged sword of intimacy Intimacy is a double-edged sword.
It makes us feel warm and supportive, but it also makes it easier for us to touch our sensitive points and emotional buttons.
Because we know that no matter how much we lose our temper with our family members or play pranks, they will tolerate us and forgive us.
This confident mindset makes us more unscrupulous in the face of our families.
2. Destroy the family atmosphere.
Living in such an environment for a long time can cause family members to feel tired, unable to communicate, escapist, and alienated.
In addition to the impact on families, this difference in attitudes can also have a negative impact on an individual's mental health.
Suppressing our true feelings and needs for too long can leave us feeling empty and confused.
Also, if you are constantly annoyed with your family, this leads to a vicious cycle of loss of regret and remorse at the same time.
This cycle constantly drains our mental energy, making us more and more tired and irritable.
Negative impact on social relationships In addition, irritated attitudes towards loved ones can also affect social relationships.
While we may appear to be friendly on the surface, we can't completely hide our hearts.
If you lose your temper often or have a bad attitude towards your family, these negative emotions can leak out and affect your interactions with others.
3. Start from the heart and express love with action.
When you're feeling angry or depressed, try deep breathing, meditation, or other methods to calm your emotions.
At the same time, you also need to learn how to express your needs and emotions in a positive way, rather than venting in frustration.
Ability to empathize and empathy We also need to develop our own capacity for empathy and empathy.
Try to understand your child's behavior and feelings from the family's perspective. This will help you communicate better with your family.
At the same time, we must also learn to listen to the ideas and opinions of our family members, and give them full respect and support.
Establishing a Positive Pattern of Family Interaction In addition to changes at the individual level, we also need to work on building a positive pattern of family interaction.
Family activities can be organized on a regular basis to share each other's lives and feelings, and to enhance the understanding and intimacy between family members.
At the same time, we must learn to treat our family members with gratitude and encouragement so that they feel valued and important.
4.Reflect on your own behavior patterns.
You can look back at how you've performed on different occasions and think about why this difference has occurred.
At the same time, you need to face up to your attitudes and behaviors towards your family, and recognize and accept your imperfections.
Start small and change gradually. Change is a long process and cannot be achieved overnight.
You can start small and gradually change your attitude and behavior.
For example, try to smile more, listen more, and show more love in front of your family.
When you feel angry, take a few deep breaths before speaking.
When you have a disagreement, try to put yourself in each other's shoes. Understand the other person's position and feelings.
Be patient and persevering. Change requires patience and perseverance.
Being kind and considerate to our family is what we should do.
In this world, the only person who can really accompany you to the end is your family.