Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two special relationships that have no blood relationship, but are closely related, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law directly affects the happiness index of the family.
In life, some mothers-in-law rely on the old and sell the old, bully others, target and squeeze out their daughters-in-law everywhere, feeling that their daughters-in-law are outsiders, and even enemies who rob their sons with themselves, and as a result, the family is in a miasma and there is no happiness at all.
However, there are also some mothers-in-law, they are reasonable, love the house and Wu, understand and care for their daughters-in-law everywhere, and love their daughters-in-law as if they were their own daughters, there are no contradictions and dislikes between mother-in-law and daughters-in-law, and the family is becoming more and more harmonious and warm, full of happiness.
So, how can you tell if your mother-in-law is good or bad? Do you treat your daughter-in-law as a family? From the following three behaviors, it can be accurately seen that there is no mistake.
1. Outdated thinking and patriarchal preference
The idea of patriarchy is the dregs of feudal society and needs to be abandoned, but, sadly, even in the development of society to the present, this dregs are still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and it is not an isolated phenomenon, but a general situation in society.
In some small local families, genealogical customs are still preserved, and when the family adds to the import, it will be registered on the family tree. However, there is a default rule that a boy can only be registered if a boy is born in the family, and in the case of a husband's girl, the mother and the girl can not enter the family tree together until a boy is born; Moreover, the mother's way of existence is not so-and-so's wife, but so-and-so's mother.
Although genealogy is a way to record the clan family, it also directly reflects the state of mind of the local people, and women need to be attached to their sons to have a place in the genealogy, which shows that there is a widespread patriarchal thinking, not to mention the existence of some of the mothers-in-law!
Although many mothers-in-law now keep saying when their sons and daughters-in-law get married: "I will love my daughter-in-law as if she were my own daughter", but in real life, this is not the case;
Especially some mothers-in-law who have a more serious patriarchal mentality, they don't even treat their own daughters well, how can they treat their daughters-in-law well?
Some mothers-in-law after their sons and daughters-in-law get married, the only thing they look forward to is to hold their grandchildren as soon as possible, if the daughter-in-law gives birth to a girl, they will dislike all kinds of things, regardless of the daughter-in-law's physical condition and mood, and give birth to ...... vigorously
To be honest, in the heart of such a mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law is just a tool for passing on the lineage, so how can she talk about a "family"?
If a woman unfortunately marries into a patriarchal region and meets a patriarchal mother-in-law, then she must be psychologically prepared in advance and not have any illusions about her in-laws, so as not to be disappointed and sad;If conditions permit, try to stay away from your in-laws' house and live alone to avoid unnecessary troubles and troubles.
2. Full of sons and all kinds of praise
As the saying goes: "The more the mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she likes it;The mother-in-law looks at her daughter-in-law, and the more she looks at it, the more unpleasant it becomes."
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are like natural enemies, even if there are no contradictions and disputes at the beginning, but as the time between them is extended, the problems and contradictions between each other will gradually appear.
In the face of discord and contradictions with her daughter-in-law, some mothers-in-law will scold their daughters-in-law, and belittle and ridicule their daughters-in-law in various ways, as if they have ruined their daughter-in-law's reputation and made them appear more and more noble;
There are also some mothers-in-law, for the sake of their own face and image, they will not directly open their mouths to insult and belittle their daughters-in-law, but they are full of their own sons, touting their sons everywhere, and showing their dissatisfaction and disdain for their daughters-in-law from ......the side
You must know that marriage has always been about "the right family" and "talented and beautiful", when the mother-in-law touted her son in front of outsiders, the implication was to belittle the daughter-in-law and feel that the daughter-in-law was not worthy of her son.
If you meet such a mother-in-law, there is no need to tear your face and make trouble, you just need to keep a certain distance and have less contact, after all, no one can change the filter of the mother to the son.
3. No grandchildren, no money
Although legally speaking, it is not the responsibility and obligation of the elderly to take grandchildren, but in the current era, it has become a conventional rule for the elderly to take the baby, especially the mother-in-law with the baby, which has become an unshirkable responsibility in morality.
In life, some mothers-in-law sit and wait to hold their grandchildren after their sons and daughters-in-law get married, and they feel that they are busy with their sons' weddings, and their life tasks have not been completed, and they still need to bring up their grandchildren to successfully complete the task;
So, for their grandchildren, they contributed money and efforts, and proved with practical actions that they did not treat their daughters-in-law as outsiders, and they were all a family that loved each other.
However, there are also some mothers-in-law who feel that their children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and they have pulled their sons to poop to complete the task, and how to raise their grandchildren is completely a matter for their sons and daughters-in-law
Faced with such a mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law said: "If you don't help me take care of the children, I will also provide for you?"”
Indeed, the mother-in-law neither gave birth to a daughter-in-law nor raised a daughter-in-law, if she does not give her daughter-in-law more help in life, then why ask her daughter-in-law to provide for her in old age?
Conclusion: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are strangers who are not related by blood, because of a man, they have become a nominal family, if you want to know whether the mother-in-law really regards her daughter-in-law as a family, just look at the above three points.
However, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been cut and sorted out since ancient times, even if the mother-in-law does not regard her daughter-in-law as a family, it doesn't matter, as long as you keep a certain distance from each other, do not interfere with each other, and go their own way, you can also be safe.
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