Sanmao once said: "Knowing friends is scattered, which is really the normal state of life." ”
Maybe soon after parting, when you meet again, you can sit down and talk about some interesting things from the past; But after a long time, everyone gradually integrated into different circles, you can't understand him, and he can't see through you.
You're chatting less and less, and even the last chat is months ago.
You didn't quarrel and disagree, you just quietly faded out of each other's world.
Some people say that life is an alternation of encounter and separation.
Everyone is a passerby in each other's lives, and we must get used to drifting away and being well.
Adults are quiet even when they break up
In the film and television drama "Bankrupt Sisters", Max took in Caroline, a rich girl who has nowhere to go, and even if the relationship between the two is good, Caroline always has to leave.
Before moving out, Caroline promised that they would be good friends for life.
But this sincerity was not exchanged for Max's enthusiastic reply.
Her answer was cold but realistic, saying, "In the first week after we were apart, we might still make time to have a cup of coffee together every weekend." After a few weeks, you don't come to something else, and I have something else to do. And then for the next 60 years, we won't see each other again. ”
Every sentence is heart-piercing, but it is very real. Everyone has their own journey to go.
*: Visual China.
I'm reminded of a passage from Spirited Away:
Human life is a train from the starting point to the grave, some people will get off early after a few stops with you, and all you have to do is wave goodbye to them. If you meet someone who sits at the finish line together, it is a great luck. ”
Accepting all lost friendships is a must for each of us.
In the Hong Kong entertainment industry, Wu Mengda and Stephen Chow are well-known comedy movie partners.
The two have known each other for more than 20 years and have collaborated on 31 films, all of which are well-known.
But such a pair of tacit friends eventually parted ways.
When Wu Mengda was a guest on the show "Thirteen Invitations", he talked about this relationship.
The moderator asked, "Do you regret that the old close friendship has disappeared?" ”
Wu Mengda couldn't see any emotion in his eyes, and only replied: "It's really strange, two people who used to have a very good relationship suddenly became old and dead, and suddenly, everyone's contact with each other became less and less." ”
Adult friendships are more fragile and fragile than imagined. The friendship of adults is scattered without warning.
We're meeting and we're losing.
Each is well, and does not disturb each other
A netizen shared his story.
He has a very good little hair, and when they were young, they were always inseparable and went out together.
Later, after graduating from junior high school, Fa Xiao chose to drop out of school, while netizens chose to continue high school, and later, he went to a further place to study in college.
At the beginning, when netizens went home from vacation, they would get together with Fa Xiaoxiao, and Fa Xiao would often call him out to play.
But people's hobbies will change over time and the environment changes, and so do people's feelings. Now he prefers code words, and Fa Xiao still likes to play cards and clubbing as before.
So later, he was a little resistant to hanging out with Fa Xiao. Gradually, as the number of rejections from netizens increased, Fa Xiao no longer asked netizens. Both of them tacitly did not look for each other.
*: Visual China.
In the past, trivial matters the size of sesame seeds had to be shared, but now they are drifting away. When they meet again, the only thing left for them is embarrassment and silence.
It turns out that the most real goodbye is not a farewell in the long pavilion, but the person who used to talk happily will never appear in your future again.
Farewell doesn't need a grand ceremony, parting is actually more quiet.
There is a hot topic on Zhihu: "Have you ever had such a friend, who used to have a good relationship, but then drifted apart, and then even the contact no longer exists?" ”
One of the high-praise answers said so"Although I cherish my friends very much, I have never had the luxury of keeping anyone by my side for the rest of my life, because some people, who come, are with you for a while, that's all. ”
In the adult world, it is accidental to come and to go.
Just like the writer Liu Tong said:
Those friends you once thought were very good, those people you thought would always go together, you don't know when they got separated on the way. ”
With a relieved mentality, start their own lives
Zhou Huajian has a classic old song "Friends" that has moved countless people, and he once said that without friends, there would be no Zhou Huajian.
And Liu Zhihong, the lyricist of this song, is Zhou Huajian's old partner and his soul mate.
When he first got this song, Zhou Huajian got the news that Liu Zhihong was going to settle abroad.
Since then, the mountains and rivers are far away, and it is very difficult to reunite.
*: Visual China.
Liu Zhihong said frankly that every word in the song is his true feelings, and he hopes to say goodbye
"There are oneself in "Friends", there are confidants, and they are people who have illuminated each other at one stage. ”
Many years later, recalling the scene of bidding farewell to Liu Zhihong, Zhou Huajian said:
Everyone smiled and said goodbye, but they knew that goodbye was far away, and now he is an old man over sixty years old, although the world is different, but he is still the kind of person who is very warm when he thinks about it. ”
When parting, I always think that the days are still long, and there is no need to rush for a moment.
After a long time, it has already changed the world, and saying "long time no see" is already a luxury in life.
Liang Shiqiu wrote in the essay "Sending Off":
You go, I won't send you. Come, no matter how windy or rainy, I will pick you up. ”
The best way for adults to get along is to cherish when they come, be relieved when they go, do their best, and go with the flow.
There is such a passage in "Dear Andrey":
Life is like a road from a wide plain to a forest.
On the plains, companions can walk in groups, pushing forward and squeezing with joy, and foaming at each other's feet; Once in the forest, where grass and thorns stand in the way, the situation changes, and everyone concentrates on his own path and looks for his own direction. ”
We are all so tacitly moving in the direction of our hearts.
*: Visual China.
The way adults end a relationship is not to quarrel or disagree, but to stay away silently.
There was no fanfare to say goodbye, and there was no heart-rending retention, it was in the tacit understanding, from nothing to relative speechlessness, from being inseparable to passing by.
Not noisy, not public, just smile and walk out of each other's world without looking back.
Author: Ergray, instead of waiting for the clouds to disperse, it is better to find the light yourself.