February**Dynamic Incentive Plan One of the characteristics of interpersonal relationships is that they are dynamic and changeable, and they will change at any time. With the increase of age and the growth of experience, it is normal for the relationship between people to fade, and everyone will encounter it.
For example, relatives who played well when they were children should have a good relationship, and since everyone is related by blood, they will be very close to each other.
However, when you grow up, everyone has to go their own way, and you will have your own career and life circle. In order to live a life, everyone will focus on what they have to do, and gradually they will be less connected to each other.
If you don't have contact for a long time, or if you don't have an intersection in your life, you will find that it will be awkward to make contact again.
The other party is a programmer, engaged in IT, and is busy with his affairs every day; Your words are clothing design, and the two industries have no intersection at all. When we meet and talk about each other's things, we will feel uninterested.
Without a topic, it will be awkward for people to chat with each other, and that kind of awkward conversation will make the distance between the two sides get farther and farther apart.
Slowly, in a few years, when everyone has their own partners and children, and after having a family, this relationship will be even weaker. Each other will focus on their families, and they will not pay much attention to relatives and other relationships, and they will slowly be separated from their own interpersonal circles.
Another reason why relationships tend to be distant is that self-protection mechanisms are at work.
Relationships are complex, and as we said before, they are dynamic in nature. Since there are changes, there must be "good and bad" in them.
Some people grew up in a good environment, how was it when they were young, they were still relatively amiable when they grew up, giving people a close look, and this kind of contact was more relaxed and natural;
Some of the changes will be larger, and they will be so large that they will be completely different from each other. When I was a child, I was very gentle and understanding, but when I grew up, I would become selfish and ruthless, and my personality growth and psychology would be greatly distorted.
This kind of distortion will make people get along with each other a lot of discomfort. In order to protect oneself, one needs to maintain a certain sense of boundaries and distance from others.
If you are good to me, I will draw near to you; If you have a bad personality and have a problem, I will alienate you, so that you will not disturb my life. The more mature a person is, the more clearly the boundaries of interpersonal relationships will be, and he will always have a calm and objective attitude towards others.
In this case, interpersonal alienation will inevitably occur.
Because people began to focus on "building a protective wall" against external risks, like a hedgehog, when the enemy wants to harm him, he will be thorned all over his body, so that he will not be harmed.
Therefore, the relationship between people is estranged, and it is likely to happen in life. No matter how good your previous relationship was, it may be inevitable that the conversation will be hot, and there will be less contact slowly, and in the end, there may not be any interaction for several years.
But having said that, I also want to express a point about interpersonal relationships, which is the issue of "emotional concentration". Although interpersonal relationships will be estranged, the concentration will still exist, that is, "strong friendships will not fade with the estrangement of relationships".
Like a comrade-in-arms who is a soldier, or a partner who has experienced life and death, this kind of relationship is very strong. In life, you can also find that those who have befriended people when they have experienced life and death or difficulties can often get along for a lifetime, even if they do not contact each other for many years and then reunite, they still have the same feelings.
The estrangement of the relationship, it is related to the concentration of feelings. The deeper the emotional intensity, the better the feelings for each other. The cultivation of concentration requires "unforgettable experiences" with each other, and the feeling of never giving up in the midst of difficulties.
For example, the relationship between husband and wife, some people are very difficult when they are young, they are very poor, they have no money, and their lives are very hard. But the partner does not dislike the other party, and in such a difficult situation, he still accompanies the other party to endure hardships and live a hard life.
If you have money and a good life, then the relationship between your partners will become deeper, and you will cherish this hard-won happiness even more. The same experience deepens the emotional concentration of both parties, and the interpersonal relationship will always remain unforgettable.
Some feelings, it will not fade with time and distance. If you can understand this concept of emotional concentration, cultivate a little more such deep relationships in life, friendship, love, and family affection to get such feelings, then there will be trustworthy people around you.