How to get rid of the trouble of betraying your marriage
When a marriage is betrayed, many people will fall into a dilemma: they want to leave, but they can't, and they think about it, but they can't live well. This is because the victim is trapped in the black hole of betrayal, repeatedly blaming and complaining about the other party's mistakes.
This endless punishment may eventually become the last straw that crushes the marriage. In fact, when the betrayal occurs, your marriage is over, and you choose to move on with your life, actually starting a new marriage.
Therefore, what the betraying side does will have a direct impact on your future life. As Belgian counsellor Esther Perrell said: Your first marriage is over, are you ready to start a second one?
Although he genuinely returned to his family, that hurdle was always in my heart. His cheating and betrayal, like an endless black hole, devoured my negative emotions. Compared to the pain and anger when he first learned that the man was cheating, Kodaka's life now seems to be more painful.
She wanted to leave, but she couldn't, and she wanted to go over, but she didn't have a good time. In the future, Xiao Gao feels lost. Although she had quarreled, made trouble, and even talked to the man calmly, she finally understood the reason for the man's cheating, and the man sincerely apologized and sincerely returned to the family.
The man's extramarital affair is because his life is too stressful, and he finds an antidote flower to vent his feelings. He chose to return to his family, and Xiao Gao chose to forgive, both because there was too much emotional involvement and financial dependence between them.
The 15-year marriage between them is not something that can be broken by saying goodbye. Life is not black and white, it is more of a gray area.
Xiao Gao chose to stick to life when faced with a man's cheating, but she fell into emotional internal friction. She firmly believes that men's true feelings and intentions are false performances, and associates and conjectures any scene, and always has doubts in her heart.
This makes her life miserable and tangled, and the man's life is also very difficult. He tried his best to express his sincerity in returning to his family, but Xiao Gao's negative emotions made him feel guilty, panicked, and unable to escape.
Eventually, their marriage fell apart in mutual torment and hurt.
Is it possible to live happily ever after being betrayed in your marriage? Psychological research shows that the answer is yes. However, whether the marriage can be improved or not depends largely on the attitude of the betraying party.
If the injured partner has been mired in emotional exhaustion and is full of doubts and complaints about the other half, the marriage will only collapse. Psychology refers to this type of marriage as the martyr type.
When the marriage is cheating and betrayal, this is actually just a symptom, not a root cause. If you choose to continue living, you have to find out the real root cause and then go and fill the hole.
The betraying party should let go of the role of the victim, be less suspicious and complain about themselves, and focus more on the reasons behind the infidelity and the other party's reparative behavior. When the other person is sincerely trying to rebuild trust, accept him and move forward hand in hand.
Only in this way, a marriage that starts anew after suffering and challenges can truly live a happy life.