To control not reaching out to a person, you can try the following:
1.Why: Understanding why you want to control your lack of unsolicited contact will help you strengthen your resolve.
2.*Set Goals**: Identify specific goals you hope to achieve, such as reducing the frequency of contact or stopping unsolicited contact altogether.
3.*Divert attention**: Focus your attention on other things, such as work, study, hobbies, etc., which can reduce the focus on the other person.
4.*Avoid triggers**: Reduce contact with things that might make you want to connect with each other, such as mutual friends, memories, etc.
5.Make a plan: Make a specific plan, such as limiting the amount of time you can only check on the other person's social media once a day, or limiting the amount of time you can send them a message.
6.*Exercise self-control**: Practice self-control techniques, such as delaying gratification, deep breathing, etc., to help you suppress your urges.
7.*Ask for support**: Tell a friend or family member about your goals and they can provide support and supervision.
8.*Change the way you think**: Trying to see your relationship from a different perspective may help you control the desire not to actively connect.
9.*Give yourself time**: This may take some getting used to, don't be too yourself.
10.*Stay busy**: Make your life full so you don't have much time to think about each other.
Everyone's situation and feelings are different, so finding what works for you is the most important thing. If you're still having trouble controlling the urge not to reach out, consider seeking professional help, such as counselling. At the same time, it's also important to remember that controlling not actively connecting doesn't mean completely cutting off contact with the other person, but rather finding a healthy balance.