On the first day my son came home, after dinner, he went to see his grandmother. He spent more than 100 yuan to buy a box of cherries for his grandmother, and her grandmother said it was too cold to eat, so he brought it back.
I asked him: Cherries are so expensive, you spend more than 100 to buy such a small box, grandma is not distressed to death.
The son said: I have made my own money, and I have to buy food for my grandmother, no matter how expensive it is.
I asked my son: Does grandma know how much money you have for your internship every month?
The son said: Grandma asked me, and I told the truth, and grandma also said, you are more than my aunt's salary in a month.
I told my son: In the future, no matter who asks you, you should not say how much you have a monthly salary, even if you do, according to our local **, don't let others think that your salary is much higher than theirs.
My son asked me, "Isn't that lying?" Don't tell the truth to your grandmother and loved ones?
I said: Yes, it's not for you to lie, but for you to understand human nature.
Of course, grandma wants you to earn as much as possible every month, and even grandma will be proud of your high income, and she will show off to relatives or her old friends, which will invisibly set up enemies for you and bring trouble.
I told my son a story. There is a senior engineer in Shanghai, his wife is a doctor in a tertiary hospital, and his son works in a large company.
The old couple's retirement salary adds up to 15,000 per month, and they can live well in their hometown, and they want to return to their hometown after retirement, and their hometown is in the countryside, the environment is good, and it is a good place to retire.
But less than a year after they returned to the countryside, they fled back to Shanghai.
The reason is that his own brothers and relatives often ask him to borrow money, which is borrowed but not repaid. Relatives often have such a thing as a treat, and they also pick them up, and if they have the same amount of money as other relatives, they are still told that they are stingy behind their backs.
His own brothers and sisters-in-law also welcomed them back at first, and later found various reasons to take their belongings, sometimes unpacking their parcels without their consent.
Things in their homes also often go missing. In less than a year, they left what they thought was their hometown and fled back to Shanghai.
After I finished telling this story, my son listened to it and thought about it.
I told him that even relatives, they don't want you to live better than them, it's human nature.
I said: You see your cousins and cousins are not as educated as you, they are working very hard now, and their income is very limited, if your internship salary is about to catch up with their official salary, will they be very disappointed?
The son said: I also told Sister Min. I said: Sister Min, you can say that because she is the boss and her income is much higher than yours, she looks down on you for this money.
You can say your income compared to people with high incomes, and try to say lower than people with low incomes.
If you have already told them the truth, you can say something like this: I have to take a taxi to work every day, it costs more than 100 a day, I have to eat out, a meal costs more than 50, I go to work a long time every day, often stay up late, there are no weekends and holidays.
If you say that, your income doesn't seem to be high, because you spend a lot of money, and you put in a lot of time and energy.
If you say this, others will feel more comfortable, because they will think, although my income is lower than yours, I don't need to stay up late every nine to five, and I have weekends and holidays to rest, which is much more comfortable than you.
If he compares like this, his sense of disparity will not be so strong, and he will not have jealousy and resentment towards you in his heart.
This way you will have a lot less trouble.
Actually, when I say this to my son, I am not telling him to lie, but to tell him that human beings have such human nature, and human nature is sometimes noble and sometimes despicable, and we are all the same.
Knowing that human beings have human nature, and understanding human nature, we can avoid doing things contrary to human nature, avoid exposing the despicable side of human nature, and make fewer enemies for ourselves and less trouble for ourselves.
This is also a lesson that my son must learn when he enters the society in the future.
If you go back to your hometown, I suggest that you try not to show your wealth and keep a low profile as well.
Spend more time with your parents, chat with your relatives and talk less about your income, and don't show off your wealth if your relatives ask, so as not to pull hatred.
Do you think I'm right?