Theodore Roosevelt, winner of the Nobel Prize
Comparison is a thief who steals happiness. ”
Children hate their parents the most about comparing themselves to others, and this is what most parents do.
We ignore the child's feelings and needs, this comparison makes the child lose self-confidence, they will deliberately behave in front of the parents in order not to be compared with the parents' mouth, and the purpose of the child's efforts is no longer for their own goals, but to become the "excellent child who is better than others" in the mouth of the parents. ”
Comparison is not only a horizontal comparison between people, but also a vertical comparison with oneself.
As the child grows up, the child will change more and more, especially when the child is unhappy, parents want the child to be carefree and happy as when he was a child.
But children's growth is not a smooth road, there will always be a lot of ups and downs, making them painful, anxious, helpless, all of which are normal phenomena.
Parents need to recognize and accept their children's pain, not by telling them that you want to be as happy as before, but by making them understand that pain is only temporary and that we can help you get out together.
When children get out of pain, they can be truly happy, and this happiness is not the happiness of childhood, but the happiness of growth.
When parents remember their children's past, they are actually depriving their children of the happiness of the present.