I woke up at four o'clock in the morning, closed my eyes and tried to sleep for a while, but I couldn't sleep, and my brain was very active.
I have to go to work later, and I will go downstairs at 6:40 under normal circumstances, and I will arrive at the unit at about half past seven. I thought it was the end of the year, and there should be nothing to do except normal work, but last Friday, the superior unit issued a notice on the assessment of the work in 2023, requiring relevant materials to be reported in accordance with the assessment standards before February 20. I looked at the calendar, and the deadline was the third day of work after the New Year, so I had to prepare the materials before the year.
As for the New Year's goods, I have already wrapped dumplings in the freezer, bought a chicken, dozens of eggs, a few catties of beef, and my friend's mother also steamed buns for me, and I didn't get anything else for the time being. However, I don't have any expectations for the New Year, I think it's nothing more than a few days to prepare for food, not to mention that supermarkets are generally open normally except for half a day off on Chinese New Year's Eve afternoon, so there is no need to prepare too many New Year goods.
But that wasn't the case last year. Last year, my father, who was seriously ill, was still living in my house, and he was very anxious to see that I was not in a hurry, saying that I was not in a hot pot, and I did not choose to wash the green onions, ginger and garlic in advance, etc., and it didn't feel like I was going to celebrate the New Year at all. He said that he would invite his uncle, who was a chef in his hometown, to come over and help him fry some crispy meat, and then make some button meat, which would be very convenient to eat during the Chinese New Year. So I bought pork for 300 yuan in advance, and my uncle came over to wash, cut, fry and steam, and it was steaming and it really looked like a New Year.
At that time, my uncle came to help, and he talked to my father about various family shortcomings and things about faith. It was as vivid as if it were yesterday. I always thought that it would not be my father's last Chinese New Year, and I always thought that he could last longer.
But things have long been wrong. For a year, everything seemed to be the same as usual, but for me, it was a world of difference. Today is the 134th day after my father left, and it is also the 134th day in this world where I have no parents, the first year that I have no mother's home to return to during the Chinese New Year, and there will never be a mother's home to return to in the future. That small courtyard is just a small courtyard, there is no shadow of parents, only countless memories.
Writing and writing, I have already burst into tears. It's always like this now, I don't dare to mention it, I don't dare to think about it, but it's impossible not to think about it.
It's the New Year, it's freezing, Mom and Dad, how are you over there? Daughter misses you!