"The hatred of the confinement is not shared".
When HKUST first heard this, did it seem too serious?
But over the years, after seeing countless children and listening to countless mothers' stories, I can understand why they can't let go!
Confinement is something that every mother has to experience, and confinement conflicts are not an exception, today I interviewed 2 mothers and listened to them talk about those things in confinement! (The content has been agreed to by the person in question.)
Qingqing:The child is 7 years old, and I still have a grudge, and my husband always says that I am cautious, because he doesn't understand anything.
As soon as I got married, my mother-in-law began to give birth, saying, "While I'm still young, hurry up and give birth, I can still bring it to you." "Hurry up and give birth, otherwise I won't be able to raise my head after our old Li family is gone"...
What about after birth? Who knows that my mother-in-law has one thing on the surface and one thing behind her back, and during the confinement period, my mother-in-law said to my husband: "Don't worry, I will definitely take good care of Qingqing, don't worry about it." ”
As soon as my husband went out to work, the old lady changed her face and said directly that I was busy and didn't have time to guard you to cook, what do you have to eat by yourself!
During the confinement, I carried the children by myself, washed the clothes by myself, and cooked the meals by myself. I cried I don't know how many times, and I once thought about jumping off the building with my child in my arms.
What if it's a grandchild, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter!
Scientific Family Parenting Original.
You see me now,When you bend over to 90°, it hurts and you can't stand up; If the hand is not raised high, it hurts if it is raised; Joints always hurt on rainy days; It's not all the root of confinement.
So now I am very happy when my mother-in-law is sick, and I can also stage the drama of "leave it alone", "eat differently", "why is it so hypocritical" and "waste of money".
After listening to this mother's self-report, Keda was both sad and distressed.
But from a rational and health point of view, Keda hopes that this mother will put aside her past obsessions and take care of the illness that fell in the confinement first, after all, her body is her own!
If you have a situation similar to back pain, leg pain, and rheumatism after confinement, the University of Science and Technology recommends:
Scientific Family Parenting Original.
Yuzu:My mother-in-law has a strong personality and has always been the same, and there have been countless conflicts during the confinement.
When the child is born in the summer, he has to wear a thin cotton jacket for the child, saying: "Newborn children are afraid of the cold and can't be cold!" As a result, I was covered with prickly heat.
I am not allowed to take a bath and wash my hair, I am not allowed to open the window, and I am not allowed to move around more, but whenever I give an opinion, my mother-in-law will cry and make trouble!
Scientific Family Parenting Original.
During the confinement period, it is either a bowl of rice porridge or millet porridge.
Eating these, you still dislike that I don't have the ability to give milk? Even if I'm a cow, I have to give me some good feed before I can milk!
Let me ask you, who can let go of such an enmity?
I was already very anxious without milk, I asked to eat some meat, and my mother-in-law jumped to point at my nose and scolded: "I know that you don't look down on me, an old woman in the countryside, and you don't like me to cook, so I'll leave now!" ”
Wiping her tears, I told my husband that he couldn't serve a daughter-in-law like me!
This is not over, the child has just been full moon, and when the adults eat, the mother-in-law secretly stuffs rice into the child's mouth, saying: "Eat early to grow up early, you can't count on your mother's milk!" ”
I felt sorry for my daughter, so I told my mother-in-law that it was too early for the child to eat supplementary food, and my mother-in-law sneered at me: "Isn't it just a little girl**, what are you distressed about?" ”
I was angry at the time, and I still can't forget that feeling.
Only those who have experienced it know that such a "hatred" really can't be forgotten!
In fact, many people can't understand the emotions of mothers, and think that women hold grudges when they are confined, and they are too cautious, but this is not the case!
The older generation often pretends to be a person who has come before and denies the opinions of mothers!
That's how I sat in confinement, isn't it okay" "I'm from here, just listen to me".
Some older generations only recognize the old reason, think that mothers are inexperienced, do not believe, and are not even willing to listen to their opinions!
Just like a stubborn old man like Yuzu's mother-in-law, she wrapped her child so tightly in the summer, but she never thought that if there was a heat cover syndrome, the consequences would be unimaginable!
There are some similarities: no bathing and washing of hair, no opening of windows, no walking around, once you obey, it will also cause harm to the mother's body.
The collision of the old and new confinement concepts will inevitably lead to dissatisfaction.
Postpartum depression in the mother adds fuel to the fire in the family
There are more than 15 million new mothers in China every year, and 80% of them will have varying degrees of depression after giving birth, which is caused by the rapid hormonal changes in the mother's body after giving birth!
If the husband does not support it, the mother-in-law will put pressure on her, which can only make the mental state of the mother worse.
and even caused a series of tragedies:
The birth of a newborn brings not only love to the mother, but also a sense of overwhelming pressure!
If you don't want the mother to hold a grudge, don't blame or hurt them with words.
Don't expect everyone to empathize, at least respect maternity.
If you have a pregnant woman in confinement, or a pregnant mother who is about to usher in confinement, please be sure to:
Scientific Family Parenting Original.
Having a baby is not a decision of the mother alone, and having a baby should not be a matter for the mother alone.
HKUST really strongly recommends that men be involved in the entire process of giving birth to their wives.
Once she broke her skin and hit her head, you were distressed, but now how can you bear to let her go to the ghost gate alone?
After writing this article, the University of Science and Technology also collected a wave of everyone's views on "confinement hatred" in the pet fan group.
Some took out the history of blood and tears to show everyone, some discussed rationally, and some told everyone not to panic, there are still good men in the world, and more reasonable confinement methods.
I also share it with you today:
Scientific Family Parenting Original.