Why wouldn't she want to turn back? She knelt on the ground, tears blurring her vision, but she still grabbed the divorce agreement on the ground. Carrying a marriage of endless regrets, she can never look back. How ridiculous and helpless this emotional shipwreck is.
Once upon a time, she also warmly looked forward to the sweetness of marriage and fantasized about growing old together. However, reality ruthlessly smashed her beautiful fantasies to pieces. She is to blame for this emotional failure; The collapse of this marriage, she is powerless.
That woman's name is Luo Xiuwen.
On a sunny morning in 2016, 25-year-old Luo Xiuwen took her husband, Zhang Xintao's arm, and sat on a bus bound for Chenzhou. Outside the car window, green trees swept by, and she couldn't help but think of the bits and pieces of her acquaintance with Zhang Xintao a few years ago.
At that time, Luo Xiuwen had just joined the work and met Zhang Xintao, who had a wooden but diligent personality. After a period of pursuit, the two finally became married. After marriage, she gave birth to a pair of lovely children, and she should have been a happy family of four.
However, times have changed and prices have skyrocketed, Luo Xiuwen and Zhang Xintao had to leave their hometown and come to Chenzhou to work and make a living, and also plan for the studies and life of their two children. Luo Xiuwen looked at the scenery speeding by outside the window, and his heart was mixed. When she first arrived, she didn't know what to expect when she first arrived, and she didn't know what to expect.
She worries that the city life of her part-time job will be difficult and difficult, and the fragments of her small family will be scattered all over the place, and her life will be different from now on. But she thought about it, although she was not perfect, her husband had always been good to her. In the past, planting melons and getting melons, planting beans and getting beans, the bits and pieces they walked hand in hand will be the cornerstone of their harvest of love and spending their lives together. She believes that walking hand in hand with her lover is enough for her to face all hardships.
At the beginning, Luo Xiuwen and Zhang Xintao had a good life in Chenzhou. The two have stable jobs and are gradually getting better. Although Zhang Xintao has a wooden personality and is not very good at talking, he has always been caring and considerate to Luo Xiuwen, which makes her feel very warm. But the good times didn't last long, and soon after, in order to earn more money to improve his life, Zhang Xintao began to work in other places, and the time to go home became less and less.
After a long time of getting together less and leaving more, coupled with incompatible personalities, the relationship between the two has cracked. Zhang Xintao was out and well-informed, and felt that he was beginning to become incompatible with Luo Xiuwen; And Luo Xiuwen felt that her husband no longer cared about herself, and she was becoming more and more cold to herself. The number of quarrels is getting more and more, and every time we meet, it seems that there will be an argument over some trivial matter. Gradually, Luo Xiuwen also lost confidence and expectation in this marriage. She began to feel that Zhang Xintao didn't understand romance or herself, and the relationship between the two might come to an end.
One day in 2018, a fierce quarrel finally crushed the already shaky marriage. Luo Xiuwen once expected her husband to send her a bouquet of flowers to show her heart, but Zhang Xintao not only forgot about it, but also severely criticized Luo Xiuwen for vain seeking money. The two of them attacked and abused each other word by word, and in anger, the husband actually beat Luo Xiuwen.
This slap not only hurt Luo Xiuwen's body, but more importantly, it shattered Luo Xiuwen's last illusion about this marriage. "Our relationship should end here. This was Luo Xiuwen's true thoughts at that time. She chose to run away from home and wanted to start all over again.
After leaving home, Luo Xiuwen rented a house alone, living a life of repetitive work, going home, and sleeping every day. This boring life made her feel lonely and lonely. She would sit on a park bench and watch the couple go on a sweet date, with a deep sadness and melancholy in her eyes. She gradually felt as if she had been abandoned by the world, and she could no longer find warmth.
By chance, Luo Xiuwen got acquainted with the landlord Wang Yiren. Wang Yiren is a few years older than Luo Xiuwen and is the backbone of a company's business. He has a car and a house, has a humorous personality, and is very good at talking, and will always appear when Luo Xiuwen is most depressed, take her to eat delicious food, and talk about life ideals. The two began dating frequently. Wang Yiren will drive Luo Xiuwen to the surrounding outings. Sometimes it's just going for a walk in the park and chatting, which also makes Luo Xiuwen feel happy and relaxed. Gradually, Sammi felt like she was surrounded by warmth and love again. The relationship between the two grew closer.
Soon, their relationship developed into an affair. Wang Yiren is a master of love, and Luo Xiuwen also longs to be loved and understood. The two hit it off and fell in love. One weekend, the two opened a room. Afterwards, Luo Xiuwen learned that Wang Yiren was actually married. Wang Yiren begged Luo Xiuwen not to let his family break up. Luo Xiuwen thought about his child and finally decided to keep his mouth shut.
However, this affair still left evidence that could not be concealed - Luo Xiuwen was pregnant. Wang Yiren was also very anxious when he found out, and in order to take care of his family, he insisted on letting Luo Xiuwen have an abortion. In desperation, Luo Xiuwen had to go to the hospital for an abortion.
Despite the pain, Luo Xiuwen still did not choose to cut off relations with Wang Yiren. She needs care and companionship too much, even if it's just occasional warmth, she is willing to eat it. Every time Wang Yiren came to see her, the gentle concern on his face made Luo Xiuwen feel extremely relieved.
Soon two years passed, but Luo Xiuwen found out that she was pregnant again. She immediately told Wang Yiren the news, hoping that he could start a new life with her. However, Wang Yiren took a tough stance, saying that his family and career were important, and the possibility of breaking up was almost zero.
This time, Luo Xiuwen made up her mind to give birth to this child. She tried to contact Zhang Xintao, told him about her pregnancy, and wanted to discuss surgery. She originally held on to a glimmer of hope, hoping that Zhang Xintao would forgive herself and start over with her. But Zhang Xintao directly blocked Luo Xiuwen and did not reply. Luo Xiuwen was completely desperate, she knew that she and Zhang Xintao really couldn't go back to the past.
Finally, in 2020, Luo Xiuwen gave birth to Wang Yiren's child, but she was not sure of the identity of the child's biological father. Raw rice has become cooked rice, and Luo Xiuwen can only choose to raise children. She wiped the baby's saliva and tears, and said sorry to this new life countless times in her heart.
And Zhang Xintao finally learned from a fellow villager a year later that he had a "big fat boy" son. He immediately asked for leave and went home. When he saw his wife holding a one-year-old child in her arms, he had mixed feelings. He thought that his wife would be happy to come back, but he didn't expect the other party to look indifferent. Zhang Xintao was very puzzled about whether he was too indifferent to his wife, which led her to choose to find warmth outside.
However, the good times did not last long, and Zhang Xintao found that there was some ambiguity between Luo Xiuwen and the male landlord. Especially when the landlord comes to the house as a guest, Luo Xiuwen's face will be filled with unprecedented joy. This made Zhang Xintao very puzzled and puzzled. He felt like an outsider, and he could give so little warmth that his wife chose to find someone else to rely on.
Then one day, he found an old hospitalization record in his wife's safe. Only then did I know that my wife had an affair with someone else a few years ago! The child's biological father suddenly became clear. Zhang Xintao's heart was like a knife, but he was helpless. He began to reflect on whether he didn't care too much about his wife, causing her to find warmth outside. After some tug-of-war, the child's biological father finally found out that it was their landlord Wang Yiren. Only then did Zhang Xintao understand why his wife was so attentive and thoughtful to this man.
Zhang Xintao lamented that he was too distant from his wife, so much so that he gave a third party an opportunity. Although his heart was hurt, he still chose to forgive his wife, hoping that his wife and children would change their minds, and he would also reflect on his shortcomings and give his wife more care.
Unexpectedly, Luo Xiuwen's attitude towards divorce was extremely resolute. She said that her relationship with Zhang Xintao had already broken down and she just wanted to divorce him. It turned out that Luo Xiuwen learned that Wang Yiren did not plan to live with him, and would only provide 3,000 yuan per month as child support. Although Luo Xiuwen was sad, he also knew clearly that he and Wang Yiren were no longer possible. She realizes that she has been deceived by her emotions and has taken the wrong path, and now she must pay for her mistakes.
Luo Xiuwen knelt on the ground, tears blurred her vision, but she still grabbed the divorce agreement on the ground. She gritted her teeth and signed her name on the handwriting. This marriage and this relationship, she really doesn't have the courage to look back again.
Because she clearly knows that the relationship between herself and Zhang Xintao has long been worn out in the perennial quarrels. That slap directly crushed this crumbling marriage. Take 10,000 steps back, even if you get back together now, the emotional rift cannot be bridged. Luo Xiuwen knew that he had done too much, and Zhang Xintao could no longer truly love himself wholeheartedly.
She also clearly knows that it is impossible for herself and Wang Yiren to be together. This married man will not divorce for himself, and their relationship will eventually go their separate ways under pressure from his wife. Luo Xiuwen knew that he was being used by Wang Yiren, and he didn't really love himself.
She stared blankly at the ceiling, her mind blank. She knew she had made an unforgivable mistake. This extramarital affair not only hurt himself and Zhang Xintao, but also hurt Wang Yiren's family. The price of this mistake is that she is no longer qualified to live a happy life. Tears rolled across his face and smashed onto the agreement. The ink faded, and her life faded at this moment. For a long time, she will no longer be able to love or be loved. Maybe that's her punishment.
Why wouldn't she want to turn back? Because she knows that she will never go back to the past. The breakdown of this marriage was caused by himself. She has to pay for her mistakes.
She crumpled up the agreement and stood up resolutely. She knows that the road ahead is difficult and long, and she will raise two children by herself. This is the crime and punishment she deserves. She wiped away her tears and walked away. She told herself that from this moment on, she had to be strong, for the sake of her children, and for herself.