How should a person choose a place where he is satisfied?
Is the bigger the house, the better?
I have seen many rich people living in large houses of more than 300 square meters, who are not as satisfied with their living space as they imagined, but often cluttered.
On the other hand, the design cases of various post-95 explosion and small apartment types also seem to illustrate:
Whether you live well or not is not so directly related to the size of the area.
50 cases of old and small transformation.
I've been thinking about this for a long time:
How should people choose a suitable place to live?
What exactly is the so-called quality of living?
The pursuit of location, the pursuit of area, the pursuit of façade bidding, and the pursuit of house price appreciation ......
In the end, it is a desire from the heart
Or blinded desire
In June last year, I wrote an article titled "Analysis of 49 Families from China Overseas to See the Underlying Logic of Improving Housing Change".
From the two dimensions of career development and family structure, draw a roadmap for the trend of life
After half a year, the "core assets" of first-tier cities have made up for the decline and disappeared, and the entire property market has completed a rapid "de-investment".
In the past, during the Spring Festival, whoever bought a house was the focus of the party.
During this year's Spring Festival, ** reversed, whoever sold the house was the "successful person" who was envied
But the influence of the house has not faded from life, and if you can take another look at this road map, you will find out.
Even if housing prices in many cities can't go up, houses still have to be replaced
As long as the family structure changes with age.
As long as the social class represented by the career line also changes due to the external environment.
Your demands for living space will change accordingly.
The house has to change with it.
For example, the middle class who has followed the rules all his life.
From the well-off family at the beginning of marriage to the model family after the birth of the child, as long as they can't go further in their careers and their promotion hits the ceiling, most of them will go to the road of "chicken baby madness".
Because from childhood to adulthood, they measure their self-worth.
All from the outside
A parent's love is conditional, and someone else's child is a nightmare that can't escape.
Anxiety about like-to-peer comparisons has prompted them to chase after the school district for the past five years, and now they are reeling at the loss-making investment.
This roadmap of 49 types of families inspired me:
Even if the world is impermanent, from its practical high-dimensional perspective, many changes in life are not unforeseeable.
It is better to be proactive than to be passive
At least in the property with an amazing friction cost, see yourself clearly, plan your own operation path in advance, you can step on a lot of pitfalls, and live in a house that makes you happy and comfortable in advance.
That's what it means to write this article, and to write this column, and even write this book in the future.
What is the essence of a house? MUJI's master designer, Kenya Hara, once painted a famous painting.
Two hands together create an empty thing.
And this empty thing allows you to hold the water.
In this world, there are only two things we use, one is a stick and the other is a bowl
We make a bowl with the bowl wall, but with the interior space that it encloses.
Water tanks, refrigerators, liquefied gas tanks, cars, houses, mobile phones, are essentially bowls.
What is inside of it determines what it is
And what about the sticks? It's about using it for other things.
For example, bows and arrows, screwdrivers, guns, and keyboards are essentially sticks.
What it does determines what it is
A dog, looking at its internal structure, is a dog, but if you look at its function, it may be the eyes of a blind man, or it may be the family of a lonely old man
A book, from the perspective of a bowl, is concerned with what is written in the book, and from the perspective of a stick, it is about what problems the book solves.
And what about the house? When people build a house, it seems that they are building walls.
But what is really used is the space between the wall and the wall.
So, from a bowl point of view, the essence of a house is space
And what about from the point of view of the stick?
In the eyes of banks, it is a tool for mortgage credit.
In the eyes of local ZFs, it is a tool to supplement fiscal revenue.
The property market in the past 20 years has taught many people to use the house as a tool to make money.
So, from the point of view of the stick, the essence of the house is the bargaining chip of the drum and the flower
In today's reversal of real estate supply and demand, self-occupied customers who are still thinking about buying a house are obviously more inclined to the former.
All social organizations, regardless of households, enterprises, units, business operations, ......All the activities that are carried out need to be carried out in the "space".
The overt essence of real estate is space
Therefore, there is a difference between residential, commercial, and office property rights.
That's why there will be the same reinforced concrete, building different spaces - different space sizes and use functions, in different locations, accepting different people and relationships, naturally with different values.
Mediocre designers, who only focus on what is visible.
Coatings, face bricks, aluminum plates, stone ......
What others have, I have to have.
And a real designer with a level designs what is invisible.
Interpretation, utilization, and reinvention of space.
That's the core competitiveness.
What to see if you live well? When it comes to living comfortably, a house is synonymous with a living space
So what is the relationship between living space and coolness?
Is it better to have more space?
It doesn't seem to be, the room is too large, and it will make people feel ungathered and not warm.
Isn't more space better?
It seems that a three-bedroom house is indeed better than a two-bedroom house, but the farmer's self-built house has 7-8 rooms, which will not make us yearn for it.
Therefore, between the living space and the words that describe positive emotions, such as comfort, pleasure, and coziness, it is a matter of looking at:
Can space carry relationships
For example, a good cloakroom should be easy to access and properly stored.
Go deeper, think one more step.
The cloakroom carries the image of the owner
It's the relationship between oneself and visual beauty
But anyone who feels that the cloakroom is not enough is because he really needs too many images:
Home, leisure, sports, workplace routine, formal occasions ......
Superimposed spring, summer, autumn and winter, popular changes, different styles ......
Delicate female white-collar workers need at least an entire room to serve as a cloakroom.
All the yarder needs is a cabinet for a plaid shirt and jeans.
With the perspective of relationships, let's take a look at the 49 family analysis charts of Zhonghai:
The vertical axis is the production relationship, and the horizontal axis is the family relationship.
These are the two most important relationships under China's most mainstream values - just like the Spring Festival just past, relatives and friends at family gatherings talked about the most about career and family.
From these two dimensions to slice the customer, the study is:
Under a certain kind of business class + a certain family state, what kind of house will the customer be suitable for
Developers focus on the commonality of customer segments
For example, with the increase in the number of talents introduced, single turtle customers have become a very influential type of customer in Shanghai's new housing market in the past three years.
Their funds for buying a house are based on their parents' solid family background, as well as the high income of the financial, technology, and Internet industries they are engaged in.
They want a short commute (subway drive) and a lot of hedonic amenities (shopping malls).
The mainstream 90-100 three-bedroom in the market will be set up by them as a master room (high comfort) + second bedroom (parents live for a short time) + multi-functional room (study and cloakroom).
is also a three-bedroom, their standard for a comfortable house is obviously different from those who consider their parents coming to take care of their children, and have just replaced them from the old and dilapidated three-generation cohabiting customers.
But for modern people, who are becoming more and more "atomized" and "scattered", the important relationship is not only career and family?
The relationship with friends, the relationship with pets, the relationship with hobbies, and the relationship with self in the middle of the night......
Every relationship needs a suitable space to carry it.
Why are relationships so important? Marx pointed out in his Theses on Feuerbach:
The essence of man is the sum total of all social relations
Our understanding of this sentence is usually confined to a political textbook.
But in fact, throughout life, people are dealing with all kinds of relationships in this life.
There is a blogger "Lao Ding" on the Internet, who uses an entire room to place his various models, tools, and toys, and hides private money in various corners.
* is his wife, and he has a lot of fun with him - which makes countless middle-aged men very envious.
Why do you have feelings of envy?
Because of this "Lao Ding", his self is seen in the relationship.
In more family relationships, the male protagonist "Lao X" is just a tool man who plays the roles of "husband", "son" and "father".
Why are relationships so important?
Because people see themselves in relationships
The theory in this regard comes from Martin Buber's philosophy: the ontology of relations.
The essence of the world is not you, nor me, but the relationship between me and you
Here's an example to understand:
Many people are in love, and it is easy to rise to the question of "do you love me" because of a trivial matter.
But fundamentally, behind these trivialities, is:
If thou wilt hear me and follow my coming, you will love me
If you don't listen to me, don't follow me, you don't love me
But you have to ask her, if she really meets a partner who is obedient and has no opinions, she will most likely get bored and find such a person unattractive.
At this time, if you have an experienced counselor around, you can see that the problems in this relationship are not due to the other party (it is useless to change people), but because of the value orientation cultivated by the long-term obedient education of the Chinese-style familyLet intimacy be full of control, exploitation and even exploitation
The irony of the word, however, is the word love.
Parents can force their children to listen to themselves, sometimes without even a reason, and just say "I am your parent, so you have to listen to me".
This kind of thinking and consciousness that permeates the blood of countless of us has created a fog for countless Chinese people shrouded in intimate relationships.
Only a lucky few people have the opportunity to clear the fog and realize in a "love" relationship:
Oh, I don't need the love I need as a tool for me to achieve my goals
It's about letting go of all my prejudgments and expectations, and meeting with all my true true nature and your true nature
It's at this moment that you see your true self.
Is there a shortcut to self-knowledge? Since man sees himself in relationships.
We can try it with six questions about relationships.
Take out a pen and paper and write down your answers:
The first question is, when people meet you for the first time, what kind of impression will they leave on you?
Specifically, if you meet a group of friends, new friends see you, and after getting along for a while, if you hear them talking about you behind their backs in the bathroom, what impression do you think they will talk about to them?
It doesn't matter if it's right or not, it's just what impression you think you'll leave on them, maybe it's a misunderstanding, maybe it's a prejudice, it doesn't matter.
Question 2: What was your biggest childhood fear?
It's not a specific event, it's how the thing you fear feels about you.
For example, if you say that my biggest childhood fear was spiders, what you need to answer is why are you afraid of spiders? What does spiders mean to you?
Oh, meaning hidden fear, hidden hurt.
Ok, what you were afraid of in your childhood was that someone would hide in the shadows and hurt you.
So, it's about writing about that feeling, or the meaning of that thing, not just writing about spiders.
Question 3: What do you think is the greatest strength of your character?
This is what I feel, not what others think.
Fourth, what are the personality traits that you envy others but don't have yourself?
Question 5: What traits of your personality do you always get into trouble with?
Finally, what personality traits do you particularly hate in other people?
I'll post what each answer means in the comments section.
Let go of the thirst for answers for a while.
We will find that every relationship problem is ultimately about helping you to see yourself that you are not being seen.
Wu Hao, who helped Zhonghai do these 49 kinds of family analysis, the founder of the Concept Research Institute, proposed that there will be four kinds of relationships in people's socialized survival:
Family relationships, production relationships, social relationships, and the relationship between you and your ideal persona in your heart.
It's about looking at the relationship from the perspective of the character, seeing yourself
If you follow this angle:
The journey of human life is to play one role after another
It's just a way of defining it.
From a philosophical point of view, Professor Liu Qing also proposed a narrative self.
It's not about saying that you have a ready-made, constant, full, self-sufficient self and then you speak it out.
Rather, it is a self-constructed theory to understand this changing self.
Other words. Because you tell the story of yourself
That self is really formed
In a sense, the house is also part of your self-narrative.
There is no a priori answer to what kind of house will make you feel comfortable living in - even you can't tell what you want.
Only through continuous experience, continuous attempt, continuous feeling and understanding of the space you live in, and whether it can carry various relationships, can you continue to discover your own needs for space.
Some people say, that's too hard, how can I have the opportunity to go to different places and live in different houses?
Are there any shortcuts?
The answer is: Yes.
Jumping out of the problem to see the problem, finding the right person, you will find a shortcut
That's what I'm looking for when I do home buying consulting
I hope to use my experience and insights to help you dig out your real needs and see your true self.
Finally, help you buy a house that you can live in.
After reading this article, if you want to ask Lao Jin to do real estate consulting,Welcome to add an assistant WeChat appointmentThis article**From: I can't figure out how to find old gold.